Was in a Shop Rite in Trenton the other day, the patrons reminded me of a cross between the bar in Star Wars and the zombies from the Thriller video.....
Speaking of shopping these mother f'ing salepeople who work in Jos A Banks and Polo act like they are royalty and are looking at me in disgust because I am in gym clothes?....hey asshole I probably make 4 times more than you do..... you are 50 years old and dressed impectably but you prob live in a one bedroom efficency in a crack hotel....your not James Brolin ahole....
While waiting in line to buy stupid Christmas gifts is it ok to scream "FFUUCCKK" at the top of your fucking lungs?
Speaking of yelling...my gym has a "ladies only" workout room...I am so tempted to go to the door and yell "C'mon ladies...show me some titties!!!!" every time I walk past it....but then compose myself and realize if I do I should probably use the words "breasts" instead....
RHWBH
Can these bitches have one fucking party without all hell breaking loose. It's all Russell's fault.....I wish he was dead...
My buddy said Kyle looks like Demi Moore...my response: yes if Demi Moore went a round with Tito Ortiz...
Lisa and Ken don't want an extravagant wedding....that is why they hired what appears to be the most flamboyantly gay Asian man in history
Anyone who names their kid Pandora is an asshole...
Mauricio....black shoes with tan pants?..I hope you rot in hell....
RHW Atlanta
Koy is just such an amazing good guy blah blah blah...but he is with Kim...so that in my mind makes him a raving stupid asshole...
Something tells me Shreree married Bob Whitfield just for his money...just a wild guess....
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Bob Maplethorpe potential getaway driver...go!
RHWBH....Lisa just tell Taylor you hate her fucking guts so we can all go on with our lives....
Fuck those ITT Tech commercials...OMG my life has changed so much since I've become a Nurse's Aide..I can feed my family now that I am a data entry operator....what they hell were these people doing before...cleaning cum out of peep show booths?
Speaking of commercials...screw that guy who tries to sell us Fords and then has the balls to also try to sell us Levis too? I've had Fords, don't want another one and would not be caught dead in Levis......f u..and your butt..
Headhuntress.....I'm hooked after one episode I admit it....she is hot too...not sure if she is 35 or 50 but...if I was single I'd love to touch her leg in a non-sexual way....
Watched back to back epiodes of MTVs FriendZone last night...the show where a guy and girl are friends but one wants to be "more than friends"..not sure why you need a TV show to tell someone that but anyway....at one point get misty eyed when the dorky kid winds up with the fat Asian chick after she says yes, she will be more than friends...then I say to myself...she's a fat ugly asian chick what else is she going to say?....I have problems...
Noel Gallagher's new album is excellent and better than the last two Oasis albums combined......
Please put a pilllow over my head if:
A. You ever come across an elderly me walking in a mall before it opens with other old folks in white walking shoes
B. You ever hear me tell someone in a store that I can't believe Christmas stuff is already out in October
C. I ever use the phrase "old folks" again
D. You ever see me walking along a highway with a backpack on
Watched the VH1 show Why am I Single?...why are you single...cause you are on a show called Why am I Single...problem solved....
Fuck those ITT Tech commercials...OMG my life has changed so much since I've become a Nurse's Aide..I can feed my family now that I am a data entry operator....what they hell were these people doing before...cleaning cum out of peep show booths?
Speaking of commercials...screw that guy who tries to sell us Fords and then has the balls to also try to sell us Levis too? I've had Fords, don't want another one and would not be caught dead in Levis......f u..and your butt..
Headhuntress.....I'm hooked after one episode I admit it....she is hot too...not sure if she is 35 or 50 but...if I was single I'd love to touch her leg in a non-sexual way....
Watched back to back epiodes of MTVs FriendZone last night...the show where a guy and girl are friends but one wants to be "more than friends"..not sure why you need a TV show to tell someone that but anyway....at one point get misty eyed when the dorky kid winds up with the fat Asian chick after she says yes, she will be more than friends...then I say to myself...she's a fat ugly asian chick what else is she going to say?....I have problems...
Noel Gallagher's new album is excellent and better than the last two Oasis albums combined......
Please put a pilllow over my head if:
A. You ever come across an elderly me walking in a mall before it opens with other old folks in white walking shoes
B. You ever hear me tell someone in a store that I can't believe Christmas stuff is already out in October
C. I ever use the phrase "old folks" again
D. You ever see me walking along a highway with a backpack on
Watched the VH1 show Why am I Single?...why are you single...cause you are on a show called Why am I Single...problem solved....
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Your VCR should cover it....for openers.....
RHWBH
Kim has a new boyfriend, shhh...it's a secret, she hasn't told anyone about him...why...cause....it appears he is a fucking loser...but she is so fucking happy....as long as the crystal meth never wears off...
Loved the seance the girls had, it turns out the dead believe they are all strongwilled, independent and smart women. What a fucking suprise.....
Well with the exception of Brandi, she is still a slut.....
Kim you don't need botox bee stung lips, I would gladly punch you in the mouth for free....Ok for a small fee... I'll pay it...
I know Ken likes to play the whole "I'm a tough old Englishman" bullshit...do tough Englishman usually walk around carrying tiny dogs dressed in leather outfits?
New Beavis and Butthead genious....
Real Life I Text Alot...OMG me 2....
Why on earth do I watch that Millionare Matchmaker show....oh yeah I remember...because I have more game than idiots who made 10 million bucks and it makes me feel better about myself....
Patti is such a great matchmaker, episode 9 of season 2, the couple actually go out on a second date....
Found out today you can actually find good deals on cool clothes at Marshalls...Of course you need 2 hours to sift through every fuckign rack and then another 45 minutes to wait on that fucking line for the register..On second thought please keep your $12.99 Ralph Lauren Chaps velour sweater....
The kids section is particularily corny....unless you want your kids decked out in irregualr US Polo Association duds...
"Those aren't the droids you are looking for"....That is what I typed and then erased on my buddies facebook post under a pic that showed his kid with two stormtroopers....couldn't go through with it....
Kim has a new boyfriend, shhh...it's a secret, she hasn't told anyone about him...why...cause....it appears he is a fucking loser...but she is so fucking happy....as long as the crystal meth never wears off...
Loved the seance the girls had, it turns out the dead believe they are all strongwilled, independent and smart women. What a fucking suprise.....
Well with the exception of Brandi, she is still a slut.....
Kim you don't need botox bee stung lips, I would gladly punch you in the mouth for free....Ok for a small fee... I'll pay it...
I know Ken likes to play the whole "I'm a tough old Englishman" bullshit...do tough Englishman usually walk around carrying tiny dogs dressed in leather outfits?
New Beavis and Butthead genious....
Real Life I Text Alot...OMG me 2....
Why on earth do I watch that Millionare Matchmaker show....oh yeah I remember...because I have more game than idiots who made 10 million bucks and it makes me feel better about myself....
Patti is such a great matchmaker, episode 9 of season 2, the couple actually go out on a second date....
Found out today you can actually find good deals on cool clothes at Marshalls...Of course you need 2 hours to sift through every fuckign rack and then another 45 minutes to wait on that fucking line for the register..On second thought please keep your $12.99 Ralph Lauren Chaps velour sweater....
The kids section is particularily corny....unless you want your kids decked out in irregualr US Polo Association duds...
"Those aren't the droids you are looking for"....That is what I typed and then erased on my buddies facebook post under a pic that showed his kid with two stormtroopers....couldn't go through with it....
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Hey Now..........
Got my Saturday night all set...a little K2...some purple drank and the box set of Reno 911....
RHWBH
Game night was so fun at Dana's...Kim hid Brandi's crutches....that bitch...unfortuntaly she as so high on crystal meth she hid them behind the chair Brandi was sitting in...
Way to go Kyle....no one accuses your sister of being high but you.....
During charades it was nice for Kim and Kyle to remind us all that Kim was in that gritty drama "Tuff Turf"...what..... they couldn't work the fact she was the sassy daughter on "Hello Larry" somehow into the game....
Speaking of Tuff Turf....Spader is back...The Office has never been better...the Garden Party ep was fucking genious...Steve Carrell whooooo?
So I Used to be Fat premired two weeks ago in MTV...I watched...of course...of course 20 minutes in the kid goes out on date with the girl he likes who of course liked him only as a "friend" when he was fat but now is re-thinking it....superficial whore...but....must say...55 minutes in I am hanging on the edge of my seat while they kid is on the scale......with tears streaming down my face when they get the results...and I actually say to myself..."that trainer is a good guy"...WTF....
Boardwalk Empire...still genious....I have not seen Sir Dabney Coleman get abused like that since Tomlin, Parton and Fonda tied him to a chair and all fucked him ...that's how 9 to 5 ended right?
How to Make it in America is my new Entourage...great show....
RHWBH
Game night was so fun at Dana's...Kim hid Brandi's crutches....that bitch...unfortuntaly she as so high on crystal meth she hid them behind the chair Brandi was sitting in...
Way to go Kyle....no one accuses your sister of being high but you.....
During charades it was nice for Kim and Kyle to remind us all that Kim was in that gritty drama "Tuff Turf"...what..... they couldn't work the fact she was the sassy daughter on "Hello Larry" somehow into the game....
Speaking of Tuff Turf....Spader is back...The Office has never been better...the Garden Party ep was fucking genious...Steve Carrell whooooo?
So I Used to be Fat premired two weeks ago in MTV...I watched...of course...of course 20 minutes in the kid goes out on date with the girl he likes who of course liked him only as a "friend" when he was fat but now is re-thinking it....superficial whore...but....must say...55 minutes in I am hanging on the edge of my seat while they kid is on the scale......with tears streaming down my face when they get the results...and I actually say to myself..."that trainer is a good guy"...WTF....
Boardwalk Empire...still genious....I have not seen Sir Dabney Coleman get abused like that since Tomlin, Parton and Fonda tied him to a chair and all fucked him ...that's how 9 to 5 ended right?
How to Make it in America is my new Entourage...great show....
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Harry your hands are freezing.....
Was at party the other night and some guy was whinning to me that he used to be best friends with Jersey's own Andrew Mc Carthy growing up but Andrew went to Hollywood, got famous blew him off and never returned his calls after he "made it". My response......"Fresh Horses sucked".....
A little note to the Facebook "People You May Know" feature....yeah I know Timm Mellnor...problem is...I think he is a huge fucking asshole....but you did get me on this one.... I do not know Sujim Katz....
Heard the song Relax the other day on Sirius New Wave...now that I know what that song is about it kind of creeps me out...Shoot it in the right direction...ehhhwwwww....
Real Housewives of BH
Who is this new chick with her $25,000 sunglasses? 25g for sunglasses.....No wonder people are protesting on Wall Street....
If you have a pair of sunglasses for that much money you'd better fucking be the hottest chick on the planet....
Wa...Wa....my husband left me for Le Ann Rimes....I'm so over it tho...I only mention it every minute instead of every 30 seconds....
And who the fuck is Eddie Cibrian again?....what was he in...the 4th lead on Baywatch Nights?
Yes Camille, expect the worst and you won't be disappointed...how many times you gonna to use that one...when you mean the worst do you mean getting the houses in Beverly Hills, Hawaii, NY and 20 million dollars?
Paul please never take your shirt off again....
Ok Real World...you've outdone yourselves again...a girl...I think...who is a lesbian...but looks like an attractive 17 year old boy...bravo..MTV...bravo......
Was thinking at work today....BJ and the Bear...which was one was BJ and which one was Bear....Decided that BJ was super hunk Greg Evigan and Bear was the monkey...
OK ....you win....Bridemaids was funny....
A little note to the Facebook "People You May Know" feature....yeah I know Timm Mellnor...problem is...I think he is a huge fucking asshole....but you did get me on this one.... I do not know Sujim Katz....
Heard the song Relax the other day on Sirius New Wave...now that I know what that song is about it kind of creeps me out...Shoot it in the right direction...ehhhwwwww....
Real Housewives of BH
Who is this new chick with her $25,000 sunglasses? 25g for sunglasses.....No wonder people are protesting on Wall Street....
If you have a pair of sunglasses for that much money you'd better fucking be the hottest chick on the planet....
Wa...Wa....my husband left me for Le Ann Rimes....I'm so over it tho...I only mention it every minute instead of every 30 seconds....
And who the fuck is Eddie Cibrian again?....what was he in...the 4th lead on Baywatch Nights?
Yes Camille, expect the worst and you won't be disappointed...how many times you gonna to use that one...when you mean the worst do you mean getting the houses in Beverly Hills, Hawaii, NY and 20 million dollars?
Paul please never take your shirt off again....
Ok Real World...you've outdone yourselves again...a girl...I think...who is a lesbian...but looks like an attractive 17 year old boy...bravo..MTV...bravo......
Was thinking at work today....BJ and the Bear...which was one was BJ and which one was Bear....Decided that BJ was super hunk Greg Evigan and Bear was the monkey...
OK ....you win....Bridemaids was funny....
Thursday, September 29, 2011
I'm truly sorry but it sounds like a wonderful thing.....
Was reading People magazine the other day and they had a spread on the Kardashian wedding...no not the ugly one to Lamar Odum but the hot one to what can only be described as an amazing looking caveman....
So many A-list stars there....Joe Francis, Mario Lopez, Brody Jenner....does anyone have an airplane barf bag handy?....
Speaking of People Magazine, trying to get my US mag fix without the guilt and they gotta throw the cancer surivivor was has siezures story in there...c'mon..don't try to go legit on me on page 79.....
Movies
OMG......I don't know how she does it....Sara Jessica Parker...she works and has kids...holy shit...I know how she does it...how....because 35 million other fucking other women in this country do it too under far worse conditions....suck it up bitch.....further in real life she prob does it with nannies so don't even try it horse face....
Would I rather be anally raped by a Haitan intravenus drug user or see "The Help"...yeah the anally raped one....
Watched Thor with my kids...was actually kick ass....wasn't aware Jeremey Shockey could act.....Nice job by Natalie Portman...did the Director just tell her act like you want to fuck the shit out of Thor in every scene...
Halloween costumes
Never dress up for Halloween but friends are having a party...was thinking of going as either Steve Bartman or Mario Van Peebles.....
So many A-list stars there....Joe Francis, Mario Lopez, Brody Jenner....does anyone have an airplane barf bag handy?....
Speaking of People Magazine, trying to get my US mag fix without the guilt and they gotta throw the cancer surivivor was has siezures story in there...c'mon..don't try to go legit on me on page 79.....
Movies
OMG......I don't know how she does it....Sara Jessica Parker...she works and has kids...holy shit...I know how she does it...how....because 35 million other fucking other women in this country do it too under far worse conditions....suck it up bitch.....further in real life she prob does it with nannies so don't even try it horse face....
Would I rather be anally raped by a Haitan intravenus drug user or see "The Help"...yeah the anally raped one....
Watched Thor with my kids...was actually kick ass....wasn't aware Jeremey Shockey could act.....Nice job by Natalie Portman...did the Director just tell her act like you want to fuck the shit out of Thor in every scene...
Halloween costumes
Never dress up for Halloween but friends are having a party...was thinking of going as either Steve Bartman or Mario Van Peebles.....
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
No whammies No whammies...No whammies
Real Housewives of NJ.....
And the Emmy goes to...Gia Guidice...for seeing a chipped tooth and acting like she just witnessed a pencil go through an eye....
Didn't realize Joe Guidice was a gymnast......
Just watched the vacation episode....I wasn't aware the bankruptcy plan includes all inlcusive trips to Punta Cana.....
Who is Greg again? Albies boyfreind? ...
Anyway, when I was young I liked the song "Shadow Dancing" and carved the name "Andy Gibb" into my bedroom celing.....just thought I'd mention that...wonder if it is still there....for those to don't remember him he subsequently died of AIDS from having sex with Victoria Principal....
Perhaps you heard of his brothers...Barry..Robin and .........Maurice???? Say what?
I hope Celebrity Rehab worked for Dwight Gooden...will be ever pitch again?
Don't think I'll see the movie Contaigon....Was'nt there already one these movies with Dustin Hoffman and some monkey....Anyway.....Paltrow-Law-Damon....been done...Talented Mr. Ripley people....why try to re-create the magic...
Tosh O.=hysterical....
And the Emmy goes to...Gia Guidice...for seeing a chipped tooth and acting like she just witnessed a pencil go through an eye....
Didn't realize Joe Guidice was a gymnast......
Just watched the vacation episode....I wasn't aware the bankruptcy plan includes all inlcusive trips to Punta Cana.....
Who is Greg again? Albies boyfreind? ...
Anyway, when I was young I liked the song "Shadow Dancing" and carved the name "Andy Gibb" into my bedroom celing.....just thought I'd mention that...wonder if it is still there....for those to don't remember him he subsequently died of AIDS from having sex with Victoria Principal....
Perhaps you heard of his brothers...Barry..Robin and .........Maurice???? Say what?
I hope Celebrity Rehab worked for Dwight Gooden...will be ever pitch again?
Don't think I'll see the movie Contaigon....Was'nt there already one these movies with Dustin Hoffman and some monkey....Anyway.....Paltrow-Law-Damon....been done...Talented Mr. Ripley people....why try to re-create the magic...
Tosh O.=hysterical....
Thursday, September 8, 2011
That's the name they gave me.....
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
Camille is such a great person, donating her used shoes to the needy and all...
Maybe Adrianne and Paul can donate the $2200 dollar empty bottles of champagne to the toys for tots program as well..
Speaking of tots.....Toddlers & Tieras...only caught 15 minutes of this show before I gagged...Thoughts:
A. Live it up little chicks...the future is not bright...why you ask....because your Moms appear to be ugly fat pigs with awful poodle haircuts....
B. The show should be called Future Date Rape Victims
C. Are the pedofiles allowed on camera or do they just hang in the lobby until taping is over?
Watched the Jersey Shore episode where Ronnie and Mike fought then the whole house cried, yelled at each other then moped around for the rest of the episode....very uplifting.....
Also watched an episode of Downsized.....so a few of the kids wanted to kill some innocent birds in the back yard with a b-b gun, then afterwards tget all go off to church....am I missing something here?.....
Jenny from Flipping Out...please...stop rapping.... Sister Soulja you are not....
Camille is such a great person, donating her used shoes to the needy and all...
Maybe Adrianne and Paul can donate the $2200 dollar empty bottles of champagne to the toys for tots program as well..
Speaking of tots.....Toddlers & Tieras...only caught 15 minutes of this show before I gagged...Thoughts:
A. Live it up little chicks...the future is not bright...why you ask....because your Moms appear to be ugly fat pigs with awful poodle haircuts....
B. The show should be called Future Date Rape Victims
C. Are the pedofiles allowed on camera or do they just hang in the lobby until taping is over?
Watched the Jersey Shore episode where Ronnie and Mike fought then the whole house cried, yelled at each other then moped around for the rest of the episode....very uplifting.....
Also watched an episode of Downsized.....so a few of the kids wanted to kill some innocent birds in the back yard with a b-b gun, then afterwards tget all go off to church....am I missing something here?.....
Jenny from Flipping Out...please...stop rapping.... Sister Soulja you are not....
Friday, September 2, 2011
Could you describe the ruckus sir....
If one more person whines about not having power I am going to hop in my hottub and turn all my tvs on....
...of course this coming from a guy who didn't lose power and sat down on Sunday night, lit a cigar, poured some brandy and watched Entourage...
Ok...now that I got that off my chest.....speaking of the hurricane...Maurice DuBios better get a god damm Emmy for his round the clock concerned look on his face throughout last weekend...
Storage Wars has a special on tonight...they all sit around a poker table and play poker...that is called jumping the shark boys and girls.....
Betting pre-season NLF football is fun, challenging and stupid all wrapped into one....
Tried watching the show Basketball Wives but got physically ill...watched enough to know they should have named the show this instead:
A. Strippers who tricked NBA stars
B. Getting back at Shaq
C. The girl Kenny Anderson banged from Real World 2 and other Assorted Whores
D. Girls who talk about about Chad Ocho Cinco alot
Funny..... I didn't see Rick Smits wife on show......
The new singles by Jane's Addiction and Bush=slamming....
...of course this coming from a guy who didn't lose power and sat down on Sunday night, lit a cigar, poured some brandy and watched Entourage...
Ok...now that I got that off my chest.....speaking of the hurricane...Maurice DuBios better get a god damm Emmy for his round the clock concerned look on his face throughout last weekend...
Storage Wars has a special on tonight...they all sit around a poker table and play poker...that is called jumping the shark boys and girls.....
Betting pre-season NLF football is fun, challenging and stupid all wrapped into one....
Tried watching the show Basketball Wives but got physically ill...watched enough to know they should have named the show this instead:
A. Strippers who tricked NBA stars
B. Getting back at Shaq
C. The girl Kenny Anderson banged from Real World 2 and other Assorted Whores
D. Girls who talk about about Chad Ocho Cinco alot
Funny..... I didn't see Rick Smits wife on show......
The new singles by Jane's Addiction and Bush=slamming....
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Who's this Gary character?
Watching Little League World Series....the Keystone, PA moms are NOT milfs....I am guessing that is where they make Keystone beer, explains alot.....
Watched Superheroes again...few more thoughts...
A. The Extreme Cave needs a Trading Spaces makeover from zenmaster Vern Yip....
B. After curing the ill, telling the future and dazzling the ladies Master Legend's whopping thirst can only be cured by a Busch Light tallboy....
C. Is the Mayor of Chula Vista, home of the famous Chula Vista groper, in the Beach Boys?
For some reason watching a marathon of Downsized......Does downsizing usually include keeping your Mercedes and 7 other cars?
My guess is the marriage of Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries will end as soon as he becomes the PF for the Sioux City Rapids of the NBDL.....
Hate talking about commercials but would please someone settle this for me...is "Jess" from those stupid annoying Dominoes pizza commercials a dude or a chick?
Watched Superheroes again...few more thoughts...
A. The Extreme Cave needs a Trading Spaces makeover from zenmaster Vern Yip....
B. After curing the ill, telling the future and dazzling the ladies Master Legend's whopping thirst can only be cured by a Busch Light tallboy....
C. Is the Mayor of Chula Vista, home of the famous Chula Vista groper, in the Beach Boys?
For some reason watching a marathon of Downsized......Does downsizing usually include keeping your Mercedes and 7 other cars?
My guess is the marriage of Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries will end as soon as he becomes the PF for the Sioux City Rapids of the NBDL.....
Hate talking about commercials but would please someone settle this for me...is "Jess" from those stupid annoying Dominoes pizza commercials a dude or a chick?
Thursday, August 18, 2011
This is Mooney's bike now.....
Why did I watch back to back episodes of Flipping Out last night....all I can say is that Chazz will no longer cut my hair now that he didn't hire Jeff for the NY job...bastard...VIP room my ass...
By the way, is Chazz the pizza guy from Fast Times a Ridgemont High?
Watched Dallas's Most Eligible or what I like to call it "Bunch of Fucking Assholes"
As if I needed another reason to hate Dallas....
True Life I have a Sugar Daddy...
A. Yes..... if a guy you call a fucking Sugar Daddy buys you a $500 dress you have to "bring the heat"...it's part of the dealio....
B. By the way haven't these sugar daddys ever heard of prostitutes?
Had two events in last 24 hours that made my question my manhood...
A. Eyed welled up during Michael Lohan's breakdown in group on Celeb Rehab....not...sure...why...I think Dr. K consoling him put me over the edge...
B. Made the statement to family that we had to watch Rocco's Dinner Party because "Liza Minelli" was a guest...
Did I just typed the phrase "in group"?... ok maybe three events....
More Celeb Rehab
You know you got a bunch of fuck ups when Stephen Adler is making the most sense...
Amy Fisher....why are people so mean to you? waaaa...I don't deserve to be happy...waaa...uhhhh...you shot an innocent women in the face...why aren't you still in jail again? By the way, I like my porn stars a little less whiny....
Speaking of porn, is it neccesary to have ads on how to grow a 10 inch cock with photoshopped pictures of a 10 inch cock on some skinny dude right on the front page on these fucking porn sites...For goodness sakes show a little class....I am trying to eat my lunch here.....
By the way, is Chazz the pizza guy from Fast Times a Ridgemont High?
Watched Dallas's Most Eligible or what I like to call it "Bunch of Fucking Assholes"
As if I needed another reason to hate Dallas....
True Life I have a Sugar Daddy...
A. Yes..... if a guy you call a fucking Sugar Daddy buys you a $500 dress you have to "bring the heat"...it's part of the dealio....
B. By the way haven't these sugar daddys ever heard of prostitutes?
Had two events in last 24 hours that made my question my manhood...
A. Eyed welled up during Michael Lohan's breakdown in group on Celeb Rehab....not...sure...why...I think Dr. K consoling him put me over the edge...
B. Made the statement to family that we had to watch Rocco's Dinner Party because "Liza Minelli" was a guest...
Did I just typed the phrase "in group"?... ok maybe three events....
More Celeb Rehab
You know you got a bunch of fuck ups when Stephen Adler is making the most sense...
Amy Fisher....why are people so mean to you? waaaa...I don't deserve to be happy...waaa...uhhhh...you shot an innocent women in the face...why aren't you still in jail again? By the way, I like my porn stars a little less whiny....
Speaking of porn, is it neccesary to have ads on how to grow a 10 inch cock with photoshopped pictures of a 10 inch cock on some skinny dude right on the front page on these fucking porn sites...For goodness sakes show a little class....I am trying to eat my lunch here.....
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Finkle is Einhorn....
Einhorn is Finkle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please I implore everyone to watch the Documentary entitled Superheroes on HBO...genious....
Few thoughts:
A. Master Legend likes his beer...
B. Like their Justice League insignia...they should be expecting an injuction from the NFL any day now...
C. Wonder if these real life crimestoppers had rough childhoods?
D. Arnold Diaz is my real life superhero...Shame...On...You....
Yay!!! Christmas at the Real Housewives of NJ and I hope they all get foreclosure letters in thier stockings...well..except for Albie..he's a sweetheart....real smooth with the ladies too...was actually wondering if he pissed himself when Alexa Ray Joel sat down....
Was Joey Guidice coming off a peyote trip X-mas morning?
Why am I talking about Christmas in August?
Jersey Shore..Italy...lame....I mean it's like so weird for Sam to see Ron after...like...you know....
Celeb Rehab:
A. I should not know the name Kate Major
B. Amy Fisher's husband has a bit of a temper
C. That being said Jeremy Jackon's chubby sister should keep her fucking mouth shut....
By the way The Town is an awesume fucking movie....
Please I implore everyone to watch the Documentary entitled Superheroes on HBO...genious....
Few thoughts:
A. Master Legend likes his beer...
B. Like their Justice League insignia...they should be expecting an injuction from the NFL any day now...
C. Wonder if these real life crimestoppers had rough childhoods?
D. Arnold Diaz is my real life superhero...Shame...On...You....
Yay!!! Christmas at the Real Housewives of NJ and I hope they all get foreclosure letters in thier stockings...well..except for Albie..he's a sweetheart....real smooth with the ladies too...was actually wondering if he pissed himself when Alexa Ray Joel sat down....
Was Joey Guidice coming off a peyote trip X-mas morning?
Why am I talking about Christmas in August?
Jersey Shore..Italy...lame....I mean it's like so weird for Sam to see Ron after...like...you know....
Celeb Rehab:
A. I should not know the name Kate Major
B. Amy Fisher's husband has a bit of a temper
C. That being said Jeremy Jackon's chubby sister should keep her fucking mouth shut....
By the way The Town is an awesume fucking movie....
Monday, July 25, 2011
Yo I ain't no toast....
Housewives of NYC
You are not pregnant Ramona....your just stupid.....
Is that Simon or Rip Taylor?....
Jimmy Fallon's "Thank you notes" book is fucking hysterical....
Housewives of NJ
Who the hell does Kim G think she is? Speaking of....is it my imagination or is she the hottest 80 year old you've ever seen...
How exactly does someone who is declaring bankruptcy have personal stylists to do their hair and make-up for a X-mas party? I better shut up though or Joe Guidice might do a roundhouse kick to my head...
Something tells me in a few years when Joe Gorga is declaring bankruptcy himself he's going to wish he had that 50 grand back he spent on that party....
Movie Review Alert- Take Me Home Tonight starring Sir Topher Grace....Very Entertaining
Why are there no hot Hoarders?
Celebrity Rehab
Adler...just move in dude....
Did Amy Fisher catch a Dr. K Dwight Gooden fast ball to her lip?
Sean Young was once the hottest chick in Hollywood...now she looks like an extra from the Lord of the Rings....
Thinking of a word to describe Michael Lohan...I know...Turd...
I'm pretty sure the chick that works there , Shelly, is actress Judy Greer....
You are not pregnant Ramona....your just stupid.....
Is that Simon or Rip Taylor?....
Jimmy Fallon's "Thank you notes" book is fucking hysterical....
Housewives of NJ
Who the hell does Kim G think she is? Speaking of....is it my imagination or is she the hottest 80 year old you've ever seen...
How exactly does someone who is declaring bankruptcy have personal stylists to do their hair and make-up for a X-mas party? I better shut up though or Joe Guidice might do a roundhouse kick to my head...
Something tells me in a few years when Joe Gorga is declaring bankruptcy himself he's going to wish he had that 50 grand back he spent on that party....
Movie Review Alert- Take Me Home Tonight starring Sir Topher Grace....Very Entertaining
Why are there no hot Hoarders?
Celebrity Rehab
Adler...just move in dude....
Did Amy Fisher catch a Dr. K Dwight Gooden fast ball to her lip?
Sean Young was once the hottest chick in Hollywood...now she looks like an extra from the Lord of the Rings....
Thinking of a word to describe Michael Lohan...I know...Turd...
I'm pretty sure the chick that works there , Shelly, is actress Judy Greer....
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Hold it now...hit it.....
Just watched Back to Back episodes of COPS, as good as it has ever been. Love when the drunken idiots resist arrest, fight da police, then start whinning how sorry they are at the end....of course right after they get stun gunned....bitches...
True Life....I'm ex-Amish...wasn't aware Amish wore Colts sweatshirts and smoked like chimneys....
I don't watch that Gene Simmons show debacle, only see the commercials but hasn't he's been bragging about nailing all these women every time I turn around..... now his relationship to the chick from Hot Dog the Movie is not going well......boo hoo...maybe now she can try to hook up with Squirell......
True Life...I'm addicted to Porn...of course you are dude, your a guy......Although when I hear someone say the word "masterbade" it creeps me out....it's called jerking off a-hole....
Ok....so it appears 6 out of every 10 movies now deals with the premis that two friends, one boy and one girl agree to have sex but....god no they can't have feelings about it..because they are both so fucking good looking they can't be a couple..The newest is called Friends with Benefits...starring Justin Timberlake and Natalie Portman....or is it Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis?
True Life....I'm ex-Amish...wasn't aware Amish wore Colts sweatshirts and smoked like chimneys....
I don't watch that Gene Simmons show debacle, only see the commercials but hasn't he's been bragging about nailing all these women every time I turn around..... now his relationship to the chick from Hot Dog the Movie is not going well......boo hoo...maybe now she can try to hook up with Squirell......
True Life...I'm addicted to Porn...of course you are dude, your a guy......Although when I hear someone say the word "masterbade" it creeps me out....it's called jerking off a-hole....
Ok....so it appears 6 out of every 10 movies now deals with the premis that two friends, one boy and one girl agree to have sex but....god no they can't have feelings about it..because they are both so fucking good looking they can't be a couple..The newest is called Friends with Benefits...starring Justin Timberlake and Natalie Portman....or is it Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis?
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Just be glad I had fast reflexes....
Watched Hot Tub Time Machine with my kids the other day, please don't call DYFUS.....hey I wanted to introduce my kids to John Cusak, next up...Grifters...
How dare you serve Rocco Dispirito meatballs....
Rocco I get the show...the cocky jackass chef who says "they got this" always loses....
Who is this Padma chick? She is at a stupid reality show dinner party...chick is acting like she is Princess Diana...
Jeff Lewis is still Flipping Out! and he still has his assistant with him...or as I like to call her...the retarded Elaine Benes...
At least Lewis and his crew are done with that glorified Chi Chi's they spent last season on....
Whale Wars: Can one prop fouler work? Let me guess this straight, we bombed Japan, they surrendered, we rebuilt their country....the least they can fucking do is lay off a few whales for us....wtf? Research my fucking ass.....throw them some fucking Levis and tell them to go home...
If the whales could talk they would breach and yell out at the whale wars guys..."fucking try harder you fucking hippies".....
Michael Irvin posed for a gay magazine....usually I would think that is courageous for a straight guy to do that...but since he is a Dallas Cowboy I will call him what he is...a Fruit!
How dare you serve Rocco Dispirito meatballs....
Rocco I get the show...the cocky jackass chef who says "they got this" always loses....
Who is this Padma chick? She is at a stupid reality show dinner party...chick is acting like she is Princess Diana...
Jeff Lewis is still Flipping Out! and he still has his assistant with him...or as I like to call her...the retarded Elaine Benes...
At least Lewis and his crew are done with that glorified Chi Chi's they spent last season on....
Whale Wars: Can one prop fouler work? Let me guess this straight, we bombed Japan, they surrendered, we rebuilt their country....the least they can fucking do is lay off a few whales for us....wtf? Research my fucking ass.....throw them some fucking Levis and tell them to go home...
If the whales could talk they would breach and yell out at the whale wars guys..."fucking try harder you fucking hippies".....
Michael Irvin posed for a gay magazine....usually I would think that is courageous for a straight guy to do that...but since he is a Dallas Cowboy I will call him what he is...a Fruit!
Friday, July 1, 2011
Didn't know they grew 'em so small on the farm
Mob Wives-
Lee cheated on Drita, can't believe a bankrobber would do that?
Great idea of having a knock down drag out fight on a roof top bar....
Housewives-
I totally understand Jill, Simon has been cyber-bullying me too....
So Theresa shows us Joe's cock ring....and you say they have no class...shame on you...
One of the best movie qoutes ever...."What I just saw out there made me sick"...Roy Turner Bad News Bears....
My Mork & Mindy musical is coming along...I am going to call it "Shazbutt"...
Everytime I watch Extreme Home Makeover...whenever Ty Pennington says "Welcome Home blah blah blah family...welcome home"... I...(in between sobs) ....say.....out loud..."and good luck paying those heating and electric bills"....
Little something I like to call...Pooping at work
A. Love the blatantly unecessary flush or cough when someone comes in...ok...realize you are in there, I am not going to come in and sit in your lap.... don't worry..ok I do it too....
B. Are the machine gun farts necessary before taking a crap dude
C. Are you taking some toilet paper or rolling out a baseball tarp...easy bro...
Lee cheated on Drita, can't believe a bankrobber would do that?
Great idea of having a knock down drag out fight on a roof top bar....
Housewives-
I totally understand Jill, Simon has been cyber-bullying me too....
So Theresa shows us Joe's cock ring....and you say they have no class...shame on you...
One of the best movie qoutes ever...."What I just saw out there made me sick"...Roy Turner Bad News Bears....
My Mork & Mindy musical is coming along...I am going to call it "Shazbutt"...
Everytime I watch Extreme Home Makeover...whenever Ty Pennington says "Welcome Home blah blah blah family...welcome home"... I...(in between sobs) ....say.....out loud..."and good luck paying those heating and electric bills"....
Little something I like to call...Pooping at work
A. Love the blatantly unecessary flush or cough when someone comes in...ok...realize you are in there, I am not going to come in and sit in your lap.... don't worry..ok I do it too....
B. Are the machine gun farts necessary before taking a crap dude
C. Are you taking some toilet paper or rolling out a baseball tarp...easy bro...
D. Does your belt buckle have to be playing a tune on the floor throughout this ordeal?...it's bad enough you came in when I did and gross enough I can hear you....
Happy Fourth of July....
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Phi Slamma Jamma
Tonight on a very special Real Housewives of OC Outakes Special Tamra's idiot son goes under the knife...to take out something in his chest as a result from taking steriods...what an idiot..I would expect someone with Tamra for a mom to be more grounded...for some reason I watched the whole fucking thing.....it was almost like I was on the operating table with him...except I didn't really care if he made it.....
Also tonight on very special House Hunters some loser who is wearing a JC Penny polo shirt doesn't want to buy a house for whopping 180 grand because the second bathroom doesn't have two sinks...escuse me sir....one sink has done me and my family just fine in our hovel......
I'd like to shove a bucket of flan in Rocco DiSpirto's face.....Hasn't this guy already had 5-6 shows...all losers....and getting Liza Minelli will not get me to watch...ok maybe just the first show...hellllloooo Friscooooo....
Storage Wars: Would Dave Hester and Darryl Sheets just do it already...Dave could yell yuuup while Darryl can ask him of that was enough wow favor for him after they are done making love....
Kid Movie alert: Disney's Oceans good kid nature movie...
People please lose the leather cell phone holders that clips to your belt...just tatoo "dork" on your forehead instead...
Real Housewives of NJ
Gia is such an amazing gymnast...7th place...wow....congrats....classy to blame your showing on your Uncle who you are weirdly too much into not being there....
Caroline while you are at NJ101.5 please run over Jim Gearhert with your SUV.....
Does Joe Gorga have a mint in his basement that prints money...he does right....
Saddle Ranch- No matter what their differances are...they can always rally around the mechanical bull.....brings a tear to my eye...by the way anyone know where I can get a Saddle ranch Headband???
Yes....Audrina's career is taking off....she was just asked to be on Celebrity Apprentice...academy awards here we come....
Also tonight on very special House Hunters some loser who is wearing a JC Penny polo shirt doesn't want to buy a house for whopping 180 grand because the second bathroom doesn't have two sinks...escuse me sir....one sink has done me and my family just fine in our hovel......
I'd like to shove a bucket of flan in Rocco DiSpirto's face.....Hasn't this guy already had 5-6 shows...all losers....and getting Liza Minelli will not get me to watch...ok maybe just the first show...hellllloooo Friscooooo....
Storage Wars: Would Dave Hester and Darryl Sheets just do it already...Dave could yell yuuup while Darryl can ask him of that was enough wow favor for him after they are done making love....
Kid Movie alert: Disney's Oceans good kid nature movie...
People please lose the leather cell phone holders that clips to your belt...just tatoo "dork" on your forehead instead...
Real Housewives of NJ
Gia is such an amazing gymnast...7th place...wow....congrats....classy to blame your showing on your Uncle who you are weirdly too much into not being there....
Caroline while you are at NJ101.5 please run over Jim Gearhert with your SUV.....
Does Joe Gorga have a mint in his basement that prints money...he does right....
Saddle Ranch- No matter what their differances are...they can always rally around the mechanical bull.....brings a tear to my eye...by the way anyone know where I can get a Saddle ranch Headband???
Yes....Audrina's career is taking off....she was just asked to be on Celebrity Apprentice...academy awards here we come....
Thursday, June 16, 2011
You like movies about Gladiators?
Millionare Decorators:
How many VHS tapes of Girls Gone Wild did Joe Franscis fucking sell? A staff of 12 in his Mexican Villa? I can honestly state that I have never seen one of those tapes...don't like my dirt that clean....
Martyn Lawence Bullard looks like he's spent some time in a public restroom with George Michael...
Housewives of NJ
So Ahsley wants to be Carrie Bradshaw....unfortunately she looks like Chris Nardi with a wig on.....
Starting to like Joe Gorga but have a funny feeling he is 4 foot 9 with boots on...
Haven't seen the new Teen Wolf on MTV but Bateman already destroyed the franchise so fuck it.....
Let me guess this straight...the new crappy Tom Hanks-Julia Roberts movie is about Tom Hanks going back to college after he is fired from Walmart because he doesn't have a college degree? I thought all you needed to work at Walmart was half of your teeth?
How many VHS tapes of Girls Gone Wild did Joe Franscis fucking sell? A staff of 12 in his Mexican Villa? I can honestly state that I have never seen one of those tapes...don't like my dirt that clean....
Martyn Lawence Bullard looks like he's spent some time in a public restroom with George Michael...
Housewives of NJ
So Ahsley wants to be Carrie Bradshaw....unfortunately she looks like Chris Nardi with a wig on.....
Starting to like Joe Gorga but have a funny feeling he is 4 foot 9 with boots on...
Haven't seen the new Teen Wolf on MTV but Bateman already destroyed the franchise so fuck it.....
Let me guess this straight...the new crappy Tom Hanks-Julia Roberts movie is about Tom Hanks going back to college after he is fired from Walmart because he doesn't have a college degree? I thought all you needed to work at Walmart was half of your teeth?
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Cut me some slack Jack....
So over NYC Housewives and their stupid Morocco trip...please wake me when A. it is over or B. one of them is bitten by a cobra
Finally broke down and got a Bluetooth to use when I am in the car, now I feel like punching myself in the face everytime I look in the rearview mirror
Millionare Designers-great new show....I think...something tells me a bunch of gay designers=mid-season catfights....
Housewives of NJ...nothing like a Thanksgiving episode in the summer.....when those poor kids think of their thanksgiving memories a vision of two guidos riding a mechanical bull making out will surely scar them all for life...
Now it makes sense...the fued between the families is all over a poorly worded congratualtions card and a batch of cookies...no wonder it has gotten so nasty.....
OC: I know there was pushing, wine throwing, arguing, crying in the finale....I just wish Tamra would lighten up with the black eye liner....Take it easy Alice Cooper....
I am on to you bending over facebook profile picture......you people are hiding something and bending over in a weird contortion isn't going to solve it.....much like the crazy puckered lip pose with glasses on and peace sign up pic.....take the glasses off, unpucker those lips, stand straight up and let's see what you got....
Finally broke down and got a Bluetooth to use when I am in the car, now I feel like punching myself in the face everytime I look in the rearview mirror
Millionare Designers-great new show....I think...something tells me a bunch of gay designers=mid-season catfights....
Housewives of NJ...nothing like a Thanksgiving episode in the summer.....when those poor kids think of their thanksgiving memories a vision of two guidos riding a mechanical bull making out will surely scar them all for life...
Now it makes sense...the fued between the families is all over a poorly worded congratualtions card and a batch of cookies...no wonder it has gotten so nasty.....
OC: I know there was pushing, wine throwing, arguing, crying in the finale....I just wish Tamra would lighten up with the black eye liner....Take it easy Alice Cooper....
I am on to you bending over facebook profile picture......you people are hiding something and bending over in a weird contortion isn't going to solve it.....much like the crazy puckered lip pose with glasses on and peace sign up pic.....take the glasses off, unpucker those lips, stand straight up and let's see what you got....
Saturday, May 28, 2011
You are Kareem!
The new Norm McDonald Sports show on Comedy Central is hysterical.....even more hysterical after two gin and tonics.....
Told someone tonight I like to drink Bacardi with cranberry and orange juice and he said...that's called a Baybreeze...and I said to myself....oh shit am I gay??????.....
Watched the movie Takers last night.....sooo bad yet soo good....yes Hollywood...I love you...you make me believe...almost...... that Hayden Christenson can be up 3 Russian mobsters by himself...uhhh...ok....and the 18 minute Chris Brown chase scene....have these people ever heard of editing?
For some reason started watching the Justin Timberlake Andy Sandberg SNL music videos on You Tube last few days...you know Dick in a Box, Motherlover and Golden Rule.....aka the trilogy...got my kids watching too....parent of the year...so I am on beach singing dick in a box...5 hours pass...walking back to house from beach with 2 year old nephew..and he goes...and I am not trying to be all facebook...omg my little angel said this....he fucking says...."dick in a box"....the kid is literally just learning to put together semi-sentences...I am going to hell.....
Happy Memorial Day weekend everyone! I love you all.....
BTW.....Roger Mc Dowell is still my idol....even more so now....
Told someone tonight I like to drink Bacardi with cranberry and orange juice and he said...that's called a Baybreeze...and I said to myself....oh shit am I gay??????.....
Watched the movie Takers last night.....sooo bad yet soo good....yes Hollywood...I love you...you make me believe...almost...... that Hayden Christenson can be up 3 Russian mobsters by himself...uhhh...ok....and the 18 minute Chris Brown chase scene....have these people ever heard of editing?
For some reason started watching the Justin Timberlake Andy Sandberg SNL music videos on You Tube last few days...you know Dick in a Box, Motherlover and Golden Rule.....aka the trilogy...got my kids watching too....parent of the year...so I am on beach singing dick in a box...5 hours pass...walking back to house from beach with 2 year old nephew..and he goes...and I am not trying to be all facebook...omg my little angel said this....he fucking says...."dick in a box"....the kid is literally just learning to put together semi-sentences...I am going to hell.....
Happy Memorial Day weekend everyone! I love you all.....
BTW.....Roger Mc Dowell is still my idol....even more so now....
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
My name is Roger Murdoch...I'm the co-pilot....
Real Housewives of the OC
Slade's stick figure art was so bad it almost made me forget he was 3.2 lbs. overweight...
Vickie and Don, I think I am on Team Don......Vickie's wwhooo hoo has suddenly turned into booo f'ing hoo (Did I just type that?)
Speaking of I don't think Vicki could wear Alexis Couture with that whole ass bleeding thing....
Is Alex's husband Jim a porn director? Sure looks like one.... and by the way dude.... the tag is the least of that clothing line's problems....
I kind of want that stupid smile wiped off of Eddie's face...
James Spader fucking genious on the Office....welcome back Steph....
TMZ - those meetings are a hoot huh, basically whoever opens up their mouths gets huge fucking laughs....but problem is they don't say anything funny, also
A. I want to shove that water bottle straw up Harvey's nose....
B. The guys who makes the quips on the videos about the "celebs"...let's just say I hope gets runs over by a moped....
C. Is it me or are they reaching a bit? Ahhh...uuuhhmm.....we got Alex Winter....Ted from Bill and Teds...walking on Sunset.....he says he's not aware of a Bill and Teds 3 script.......WOW...call CNN.....
Mob Wives outstanding Sun night....dinner party from hell...or in other words a typical dinner party in Staten Island....
Slade's stick figure art was so bad it almost made me forget he was 3.2 lbs. overweight...
Vickie and Don, I think I am on Team Don......Vickie's wwhooo hoo has suddenly turned into booo f'ing hoo (Did I just type that?)
Speaking of I don't think Vicki could wear Alexis Couture with that whole ass bleeding thing....
Is Alex's husband Jim a porn director? Sure looks like one.... and by the way dude.... the tag is the least of that clothing line's problems....
I kind of want that stupid smile wiped off of Eddie's face...
James Spader fucking genious on the Office....welcome back Steph....
TMZ - those meetings are a hoot huh, basically whoever opens up their mouths gets huge fucking laughs....but problem is they don't say anything funny, also
A. I want to shove that water bottle straw up Harvey's nose....
B. The guys who makes the quips on the videos about the "celebs"...let's just say I hope gets runs over by a moped....
C. Is it me or are they reaching a bit? Ahhh...uuuhhmm.....we got Alex Winter....Ted from Bill and Teds...walking on Sunset.....he says he's not aware of a Bill and Teds 3 script.......WOW...call CNN.....
Mob Wives outstanding Sun night....dinner party from hell...or in other words a typical dinner party in Staten Island....
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Don't stop Planet Rock...don't stop
Caught the end of the Real Housewives of NJ premire and all I can say is....WTF is going on? These people can really fuck up a Christening.....
Here's the video of your christening darling...what a wonderful day....your dad rolled around the floor with your Uncle swinging at each other....oh here's daddy fighting with his sister calling her garbage.....oh... pause this so everyone can come in and see..... here is Daddy again yelling in Grampa's 90 year old face....magical day...
Can we have one "re-union show" where someobody does not rip off their mike, say "I'm outta here", go in a stairwell and cry repeating "I'm done" over and over....and of course the ever popular "stop filming"....just once....
Can't stop watching Parking Wars.....love it when people wait in line for 3 hours, then when they get up to window act like it is so crazy that you have to show insurance and registration to get their car out of a lot...."don't make no damm sense"....
So you parked illegally, ripped up your parking ticket, your car gets booted....so who's fault is it.....the city's that's who.....Thanks alot Detroit.......
Here's the video of your christening darling...what a wonderful day....your dad rolled around the floor with your Uncle swinging at each other....oh here's daddy fighting with his sister calling her garbage.....oh... pause this so everyone can come in and see..... here is Daddy again yelling in Grampa's 90 year old face....magical day...
Can we have one "re-union show" where someobody does not rip off their mike, say "I'm outta here", go in a stairwell and cry repeating "I'm done" over and over....and of course the ever popular "stop filming"....just once....
Can't stop watching Parking Wars.....love it when people wait in line for 3 hours, then when they get up to window act like it is so crazy that you have to show insurance and registration to get their car out of a lot...."don't make no damm sense"....
So you parked illegally, ripped up your parking ticket, your car gets booted....so who's fault is it.....the city's that's who.....Thanks alot Detroit.......
Monday, May 16, 2011
But Dad...it's Smokeyyy...
My wife's e-mail was hacked into and a mass e-mail was sent out to everyone she has ever sent an e-mail to and it said we were on vacation in London and we were mugged, and they took everything but our passports, and the hotel would not let us leave until we settled with them, please help...
A. If any fucking hotel ever trapped me in a room and did let me and my family leave I would do a Nockamura Towers aka John McClain on the place....
Anyway, she got about 100 calls and e-mails informing her she had a virus etc.,...uh duuh... but one lady , who's kid is in our son's grade, who we hardly even know e-mailed this back to her, and I qoute:
"I am soooo sorry this has happended to you, if you can not work it out, please e-mail me back the hotel information and I will wire you money..."
Unbelievable.......another lady from town walked up to my buddy at a Little League game and said to him "Did you hear what happended?"....Another dude who I was out a Golf Outing only two days earlier called my house to say he was very upset and wanted to make sure we got home OK....and he was fucking serious........WTF!!!
Was watching Pawn Stars and came to the conclusion that Rick is the smartest man on earth....Does this guy study Presidential history and memorize war battles every night or something?....
This new Housewife Cindy from Real Housewives of NYC looks like Ace Freeley...with his makeup on...instead of them riding horses all the time just get on her back....
John Ralfeo on Parks and Rec funniest character on TV today...
A. If any fucking hotel ever trapped me in a room and did let me and my family leave I would do a Nockamura Towers aka John McClain on the place....
Anyway, she got about 100 calls and e-mails informing her she had a virus etc.,...uh duuh... but one lady , who's kid is in our son's grade, who we hardly even know e-mailed this back to her, and I qoute:
"I am soooo sorry this has happended to you, if you can not work it out, please e-mail me back the hotel information and I will wire you money..."
Unbelievable.......another lady from town walked up to my buddy at a Little League game and said to him "Did you hear what happended?"....Another dude who I was out a Golf Outing only two days earlier called my house to say he was very upset and wanted to make sure we got home OK....and he was fucking serious........WTF!!!
Was watching Pawn Stars and came to the conclusion that Rick is the smartest man on earth....Does this guy study Presidential history and memorize war battles every night or something?....
This new Housewife Cindy from Real Housewives of NYC looks like Ace Freeley...with his makeup on...instead of them riding horses all the time just get on her back....
John Ralfeo on Parks and Rec funniest character on TV today...
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Who's that man.....
People who add :) or :( to sentences....please...stop....please
Also Thnx?...you can't be that busy.....in fact I know you are not that busy....Thanks will do...
Real Housewives of NYC:
I would not go to Quoge if you paid me either ...ewwwww....how gross....
I love how they all say how great the Hamptons is in the fall because no one is there...because you know they are all so private and hate to be seen.....
I want to slap Jacques in the face with a fistfull of freedom fries....
One of Simon/Alex's sons name is Franswa (sp)...it's actually spelled Francois......sooo I guess they are hoping he grows up to be gay?.......not that there is anything wrong with that...
Also Thnx?...you can't be that busy.....in fact I know you are not that busy....Thanks will do...
Real Housewives of NYC:
I would not go to Quoge if you paid me either ...ewwwww....how gross....
I love how they all say how great the Hamptons is in the fall because no one is there...because you know they are all so private and hate to be seen.....
I want to slap Jacques in the face with a fistfull of freedom fries....
One of Simon/Alex's sons name is Franswa (sp)...it's actually spelled Francois......sooo I guess they are hoping he grows up to be gay?.......not that there is anything wrong with that...
Monday, May 2, 2011
That's Applejack man......
Next week on Mob Wives some drunk douchebag starts fucking with them at a bar...not a good fucking idea dude......
Audrina Ever After
Audrina's mom looks and sounds like she has been drinking whiskey and smoking cigarettes since she was 12......what a pig....
Missed the Bin laden killing news Sunday night....because...I was watching Saddle Ranch...ha...and went to bed.....actually learned of it from the paper on the front lawn Monday morning....old skool style....
I am sorry but did they say he was hiding in an affluent area of Pakistan?...it looked like the lower east side of Camden to me....
Was at the Harrah's pool Thursday with my boyzz hanging in a cabana....nice place...few thoughts though...
A. Average age= 83
B. Females under 45 without a tramp stamp=0%....
C. Hottub white trash qoutient= high....speaking of...when a trashy female asks a bunch of suave debonaire 30/40 somethings (us) if anyone wants to go outside for a smoke, that means she wants to blow someone right? Just checking.....nobody went.....
We also went for non-happy ending massages at the Red Door Spa in the casino....4 dudes in a waiting room, I think I actually said out loud that I hope the massage chicks are hot......so my thoughts are as they walk in one by one......
First one......looks like Greta Van Sustreen...if she did Crystal Meth for a few years and was in an abusive relationship with a pize fighter.....
Second one.....ok getting little better...she may be Lindsey Lohan's retarded chubby sister...
Third one.... blocked her out...not saying Chimp lady but a Spider Monkey may have taken a swipe at her face..just know I was relieved she did not call my name....
Fourth one (mine)....Oh look Bob Backlund with long hair...the former WWFChamp....super....where is your belt?...
Realize the above might be percieved a sexist...my apologies...but as a child I stuck a knife in a Stretch Armstrong doll and drank the goo inside so I figure after than I can't really be held accountable for any of my actions.....
Does anyone else find that Rob Drydek guy slightly fucking annoying.....also his "Fantasy Factory" leaves a bit to be desired....I don't know about you guys but my "fantasy" isn't riding a mini-bike into a foam pit.....
Audrina Ever After
Audrina's mom looks and sounds like she has been drinking whiskey and smoking cigarettes since she was 12......what a pig....
Missed the Bin laden killing news Sunday night....because...I was watching Saddle Ranch...ha...and went to bed.....actually learned of it from the paper on the front lawn Monday morning....old skool style....
I am sorry but did they say he was hiding in an affluent area of Pakistan?...it looked like the lower east side of Camden to me....
Was at the Harrah's pool Thursday with my boyzz hanging in a cabana....nice place...few thoughts though...
A. Average age= 83
B. Females under 45 without a tramp stamp=0%....
C. Hottub white trash qoutient= high....speaking of...when a trashy female asks a bunch of suave debonaire 30/40 somethings (us) if anyone wants to go outside for a smoke, that means she wants to blow someone right? Just checking.....nobody went.....
We also went for non-happy ending massages at the Red Door Spa in the casino....4 dudes in a waiting room, I think I actually said out loud that I hope the massage chicks are hot......so my thoughts are as they walk in one by one......
First one......looks like Greta Van Sustreen...if she did Crystal Meth for a few years and was in an abusive relationship with a pize fighter.....
Second one.....ok getting little better...she may be Lindsey Lohan's retarded chubby sister...
Third one.... blocked her out...not saying Chimp lady but a Spider Monkey may have taken a swipe at her face..just know I was relieved she did not call my name....
Fourth one (mine)....Oh look Bob Backlund with long hair...the former WWFChamp....super....where is your belt?...
Realize the above might be percieved a sexist...my apologies...but as a child I stuck a knife in a Stretch Armstrong doll and drank the goo inside so I figure after than I can't really be held accountable for any of my actions.....
Does anyone else find that Rob Drydek guy slightly fucking annoying.....also his "Fantasy Factory" leaves a bit to be desired....I don't know about you guys but my "fantasy" isn't riding a mini-bike into a foam pit.....
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Blue.....you're my boy!
Memo to all the Housewives of the OC, Miami, NYC etc.....You are not runway models....get off the catwalk.....leave it to the pros...like Rumor Willis....
Real World: Dustin was a gay porn star? Ha...of course he is/was.....but why are his roomates mad at him??...unless he anally raped them in their sleep....then they have somewhat of a right to be perturbed....if not who fucking cares......
Dustin lied to us...we don't know the real him...waaa...waaa...listen asssholes you are Vegas...Vegas people...you should be like "really, gay porn, wow, ok that's weird, maybe keep my distance from him" , uhhmmm....ok let's go out to the strip club and by the way what's the line on the San Diego St. game"?
Ha...that dork Chet on the aftershow called him "bi-curious".....ha...I am curious about Chinese culture but I am not sub-leasing an apartment in Shang-hai.....you are a little more than curious if you blow a guy on video....
Whenever a movie comes out where they say it was made 2-3 years ago and is now being released=always sucks.....
Today was evidently Secretaries Day...or aka Adminstrative Proffessionals day...as if paying them isn't enough we have to thank them with stupid flowers...why? because we tell them what to do.....how..about..giving them raises to say thanks.....fuck the flowers....
Real World: Dustin was a gay porn star? Ha...of course he is/was.....but why are his roomates mad at him??...unless he anally raped them in their sleep....then they have somewhat of a right to be perturbed....if not who fucking cares......
Dustin lied to us...we don't know the real him...waaa...waaa...listen asssholes you are Vegas...Vegas people...you should be like "really, gay porn, wow, ok that's weird, maybe keep my distance from him" , uhhmmm....ok let's go out to the strip club and by the way what's the line on the San Diego St. game"?
Ha...that dork Chet on the aftershow called him "bi-curious".....ha...I am curious about Chinese culture but I am not sub-leasing an apartment in Shang-hai.....you are a little more than curious if you blow a guy on video....
Whenever a movie comes out where they say it was made 2-3 years ago and is now being released=always sucks.....
Today was evidently Secretaries Day...or aka Adminstrative Proffessionals day...as if paying them isn't enough we have to thank them with stupid flowers...why? because we tell them what to do.....how..about..giving them raises to say thanks.....fuck the flowers....
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Time for some time for some action...
Drove by that place "Aldi" food stores today and thought...don't look... that is not for me...kind of like reading the obituaries....dollar stores ok..Aldi...hell no dog...
Speaking of the obits...when I keel over...don't put some glam shot of me up there...please put up the real old ragged fucked up pic...with the tubes out of my nose and shit....like last minute shit.....
People who think Obama was not born in the US or even fucking care need to get laid.....
Real World...Gee thanks Leroy...we finally are about to get rid of Adam and you are now breaking glass to make a point? I get the point, it is wrong to break glass...thanks bro...now I gotta get a pair of tweezers to dig out glass from my heels for the next 3 months...
Watched the Office again with Will Ferrell aka De Angelo Vickers...get your senoiritis on...it's Lake Havisu time...priceless....
The show "Relapse" is great...it's sad....uplifting...depressing...all in one...kind of like a trip to Kmart....
I appreciate when Home Depot thinks enough of us to have a self-checkout station......but then please tell the annoying lady working the "area" that I don't need her breathing down my neck while I swipe the shit...this isn't a rubics cube...I know what I am doing....
Speaking of the obits...when I keel over...don't put some glam shot of me up there...please put up the real old ragged fucked up pic...with the tubes out of my nose and shit....like last minute shit.....
People who think Obama was not born in the US or even fucking care need to get laid.....
Real World...Gee thanks Leroy...we finally are about to get rid of Adam and you are now breaking glass to make a point? I get the point, it is wrong to break glass...thanks bro...now I gotta get a pair of tweezers to dig out glass from my heels for the next 3 months...
Watched the Office again with Will Ferrell aka De Angelo Vickers...get your senoiritis on...it's Lake Havisu time...priceless....
The show "Relapse" is great...it's sad....uplifting...depressing...all in one...kind of like a trip to Kmart....
I appreciate when Home Depot thinks enough of us to have a self-checkout station......but then please tell the annoying lady working the "area" that I don't need her breathing down my neck while I swipe the shit...this isn't a rubics cube...I know what I am doing....
Monday, April 18, 2011
Hear the drum and get wicked....
Got caught up in the Saddle Ranch/Audrina/Mob Wives VH1 marathon last night...
They should call the Mob Wives show Stupid Whor.....uhmm I mean they are lovely young women...let's move on....
Audrina's show is boring...prob because she is....there is only way that show will survive...three words...Sir....Justin..... Bobby....
Saddle Ranch-The owner runs a tight ship...Reminds me of Gregg B's Palm Grille days.....
Real Housewives of the OC
Sooo Eddie says he owns a Law Office...but he is not an attorney....but his Dad is one....and says it is a family business...huh???...that is calling leeching off your parents to the fullest dude....C'mon man you could have at least faked your way through some shitty Law School to at least make it look good...
Slade..... you fat tubba wubba of shit....I am suprised he even goes out in public without a housedress....
Slade and Gretchen love their dogs like children...hate when people say this....the only people that do are....people without children.......once the baby is born...its aww fuck I gotta walk the fucking dog...
Uhh... Don... when your wife says she would rather be at the Insurance office than with you...time to take that half that business and start waving around middle fingers......
And Vicky it is an massage...you are supposed to shut your fucking trap....Insurance is not interesting...
They should call the Mob Wives show Stupid Whor.....uhmm I mean they are lovely young women...let's move on....
Audrina's show is boring...prob because she is....there is only way that show will survive...three words...Sir....Justin..... Bobby....
Saddle Ranch-The owner runs a tight ship...Reminds me of Gregg B's Palm Grille days.....
Real Housewives of the OC
Sooo Eddie says he owns a Law Office...but he is not an attorney....but his Dad is one....and says it is a family business...huh???...that is calling leeching off your parents to the fullest dude....C'mon man you could have at least faked your way through some shitty Law School to at least make it look good...
Slade..... you fat tubba wubba of shit....I am suprised he even goes out in public without a housedress....
Slade and Gretchen love their dogs like children...hate when people say this....the only people that do are....people without children.......once the baby is born...its aww fuck I gotta walk the fucking dog...
Uhh... Don... when your wife says she would rather be at the Insurance office than with you...time to take that half that business and start waving around middle fingers......
And Vicky it is an massage...you are supposed to shut your fucking trap....Insurance is not interesting...
Friday, April 15, 2011
Tap the bottle and twist the keg.....
Driving to work today and was thinking:
Why do these strip club bartenders aka wanna be strippers that work in strip clubs think they are above it all? Just because you don't drive a Mitsubishi Eclipse convertable doesn't mean you won't be on the pole in 4 months....Strip club bartender =unsure nervous stripper in training
Was thinking bout my 80s mall experience:
A. I credit Space Port with my immune system being so good...probably caught and fought off 30 diseases in that place. Besides avoiding being molested and waking up in a tub full of ice missing a kidney...
B. Sharper Image..Wow..things from the future like a cork screw that is battery operated...could they tell the future? No, you want to impress me...have an Ipod in a glass case in '88...that would have been impressive ....losers....(Thank you Doug B) (Gregg B. Spencers????) No thanks don't need a wacky black light....
C. Chess Club...It wasn't a club..had nothing to do wth Chess....cashed in on parachute club and Chams shirts....and the people that worked there thought they were gods..and are probably all now dead from AIDS...
D. Why was thier always some chinese inspired place that sold rock posters? Ours in the Quakerbridge Mall was called Oriental Pearl..was probably an happy ending place in the back...
Who the fuck are these poeple who are paying for porn? If you want to see the whole movie go to blah blah blah .com and pay $9.99. Uhmm I can get the first 18 minutes and 39 seconds for free...unless the rest of the movie is going to tell me the meaning of life or what the ending of Sopranos was about I'll pass....
So Adam was tossed off the Real World...now some new girl is coming in...and of course she is "sassy"...how dare she disrupt their 3 week old "family".....
Adam...David...Puck...all kicked out..but Steven wasn't for slapping Eileen..why? ....because she was nuts from lyme's disease and deserved it...
Acution Wars
It appears Brandy and Jarrod are making their power play...yyyyyuuuupppp...
Has Barry Wiess ever made a profit? I wonder if he wore his skeleton gloves when he jerked off in his antique spitoon.....
Undercover Boss-Is it a requirement of every CEO that they be a total fucking nerd?
Speaking of porn....if I hear German or French from their voices...ehhhhwwwwww
Went to a Science Fair/Art show at my kids school last night...Love my kids and the school...ok now that we got that out of the way...after about 20 minutes I said to me wife "how long do I have to walk around acting like I give a shit?"
Watched the Office last night...Will Farrell genious...wasn't blown away but the fact his name is De Angelo...genious....
Rob Lowe dancing on Parks/Rec........ok refuse to say it again...one more time....genious
Was in Macy's yesterday...saw a hooded sweatshirt I liked...was $29.99 maked down to $20.65..being the cheap fuck I am thought to myself....Jedi Mind Trick...walked up to cashier...young hot Indian chick and said...this says $20.65 but I think this may be 70% off.....she scanned it...no it isn't...I said ok I'll buy...she goes....be back in a minute...comes back...it is 70% off...that will be $8.29....these aren't the driods you are looking for......try it...believe it....
Dave Grohl might be one of the coolest rockstars of all-time....
Will say this once and once only....Howard Stern is a gift from the gods...Whoever does not have Sirius radio is missing out.....
Why do these strip club bartenders aka wanna be strippers that work in strip clubs think they are above it all? Just because you don't drive a Mitsubishi Eclipse convertable doesn't mean you won't be on the pole in 4 months....Strip club bartender =unsure nervous stripper in training
Was thinking bout my 80s mall experience:
A. I credit Space Port with my immune system being so good...probably caught and fought off 30 diseases in that place. Besides avoiding being molested and waking up in a tub full of ice missing a kidney...
B. Sharper Image..Wow..things from the future like a cork screw that is battery operated...could they tell the future? No, you want to impress me...have an Ipod in a glass case in '88...that would have been impressive ....losers....(Thank you Doug B) (Gregg B. Spencers????) No thanks don't need a wacky black light....
C. Chess Club...It wasn't a club..had nothing to do wth Chess....cashed in on parachute club and Chams shirts....and the people that worked there thought they were gods..and are probably all now dead from AIDS...
D. Why was thier always some chinese inspired place that sold rock posters? Ours in the Quakerbridge Mall was called Oriental Pearl..was probably an happy ending place in the back...
Who the fuck are these poeple who are paying for porn? If you want to see the whole movie go to blah blah blah .com and pay $9.99. Uhmm I can get the first 18 minutes and 39 seconds for free...unless the rest of the movie is going to tell me the meaning of life or what the ending of Sopranos was about I'll pass....
So Adam was tossed off the Real World...now some new girl is coming in...and of course she is "sassy"...how dare she disrupt their 3 week old "family".....
Adam...David...Puck...all kicked out..but Steven wasn't for slapping Eileen..why? ....because she was nuts from lyme's disease and deserved it...
Acution Wars
It appears Brandy and Jarrod are making their power play...yyyyyuuuupppp...
Has Barry Wiess ever made a profit? I wonder if he wore his skeleton gloves when he jerked off in his antique spitoon.....
Undercover Boss-Is it a requirement of every CEO that they be a total fucking nerd?
Speaking of porn....if I hear German or French from their voices...ehhhhwwwwww
Went to a Science Fair/Art show at my kids school last night...Love my kids and the school...ok now that we got that out of the way...after about 20 minutes I said to me wife "how long do I have to walk around acting like I give a shit?"
Watched the Office last night...Will Farrell genious...wasn't blown away but the fact his name is De Angelo...genious....
Rob Lowe dancing on Parks/Rec........ok refuse to say it again...one more time....genious
Was in Macy's yesterday...saw a hooded sweatshirt I liked...was $29.99 maked down to $20.65..being the cheap fuck I am thought to myself....Jedi Mind Trick...walked up to cashier...young hot Indian chick and said...this says $20.65 but I think this may be 70% off.....she scanned it...no it isn't...I said ok I'll buy...she goes....be back in a minute...comes back...it is 70% off...that will be $8.29....these aren't the driods you are looking for......try it...believe it....
Dave Grohl might be one of the coolest rockstars of all-time....
Will say this once and once only....Howard Stern is a gift from the gods...Whoever does not have Sirius radio is missing out.....
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Get some beer...and some cleaning products...
Real Housewives of NYC
Countess LuAnn De Loopey's new boyfriend looks like David Swimmer and Adrian Brody's retarded half brother...
Those guys are lucky they have cameras on them.....because I get the feeling if they didn't one day some wacko is going to club them over the head in an old barn with a spade shovel and bury them in their garden....that would be an "ice-breaker"
Bethany Ever After is crying because she is leaving baby Brynn for two days...she can't stand to be away from her for one second.....unless of course she is home...then the baby gets passed right off to the nanny.....
Countess LuAnn De Loopey's new boyfriend looks like David Swimmer and Adrian Brody's retarded half brother...
American Pickers
When Frank says there is a huge market for old toys is he talking about the GoodWill bins by the Shoprite?
When Frank says there is a huge market for old toys is he talking about the GoodWill bins by the Shoprite?
Those guys are lucky they have cameras on them.....because I get the feeling if they didn't one day some wacko is going to club them over the head in an old barn with a spade shovel and bury them in their garden....that would be an "ice-breaker"
Bethany Ever After is crying because she is leaving baby Brynn for two days...she can't stand to be away from her for one second.....unless of course she is home...then the baby gets passed right off to the nanny.....
Dr. Drew with some hard hitting questions on the Teen Mom 2 finale....including.....How did it make you feel when he was mean to you? ...followed up by and how did it make you feel when he was nice to you? uh...Drew.....I am no Dr. but..... probably bad and...... good....
Watching the new Karate Kid...Jaden Smith for some reason keeps wearing muscle shirts aka wife beater aka guinny tees to show off his toothpicks arms....at least Macchio had cool windbreakers to hide his pythons.....
Watching the new Karate Kid...Jaden Smith for some reason keeps wearing muscle shirts aka wife beater aka guinny tees to show off his toothpicks arms....at least Macchio had cool windbreakers to hide his pythons.....
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Put the needle on the record...
Real World...Dustin....dude it's Go Carts...not Nascar Waltrip.....at least he wore a shirt
Newsflash: If your girlfriend or boyfriend goes on the Real World...move to Russia.....or break up with them first....quickly
Tell me if this is weird, was looking at my hair in the morning and said to myself..."my hair looks like Bruce Greenwoods"....another underrated character actor....then I thought to myself in a non-My Sister Sam/ Rupert Pumpkin kind of way...I bet we would get along....ok I made that part up....the part about getting along....but my hair is starting to look like his....
Simon from the Real Housewives of NYC strikes me as the kind of guy who would be caught in a men's restroom at the Vince Lomardi rest stop pulling a Larry Craig at 3 am in the morning with Jim Mc Greevey..
Speaking of Simon and Alex...did I hear correctly...perhaps I should turn my miracle ear up...Alex is pursuing a modeling career? Well it's about time....
Newsflash: If your girlfriend or boyfriend goes on the Real World...move to Russia.....or break up with them first....quickly
Tell me if this is weird, was looking at my hair in the morning and said to myself..."my hair looks like Bruce Greenwoods"....another underrated character actor....then I thought to myself in a non-My Sister Sam/ Rupert Pumpkin kind of way...I bet we would get along....ok I made that part up....the part about getting along....but my hair is starting to look like his....
Simon from the Real Housewives of NYC strikes me as the kind of guy who would be caught in a men's restroom at the Vince Lomardi rest stop pulling a Larry Craig at 3 am in the morning with Jim Mc Greevey..
Speaking of Simon and Alex...did I hear correctly...perhaps I should turn my miracle ear up...Alex is pursuing a modeling career? Well it's about time....
Sunday, April 3, 2011
You guys had shirts on when you came in here...
Please tell me you saw the Celebrity Apprentice where Meatloaf goes bat out of hell on Gary Busey for stealing his paints....only to find out they were in a bag in the corner...easy Robert Paulson..don't fuck with Mr. Joshua...and would you really call the guy "Meat"? His real fucking name is Marvin....I looked it up....
Please also tell me you saw this week's Secret Millionare...where the owners of the "Curves" franchise gave away 380 grand....to charity... But the couple liked one of the reformed real Gs so much that worked in one of the Centers that they gave him 20 grand...and I think they alluded to him using it for education.....at the end they showed him with a used powder blue Cadillac Deville and the caption said he bought the car with the money to get to and from the Charity Center....they forgot to add start a pimping business....and by the way who the fuck goes to Curves?
I've come the conclusion that Bobby Zarin is one cool cat...I can't believe I just typed that....
On the flip side Donald Trump Jr. is a little creepy.....
Do me a favor...if you are on Facebook...Please don't put on your status what you ate or had to eat and if someone you know types that...please do not respond "Yum"....
Tamra could not make Fernada's citizenship party...what a shame because it looked like a real bash...balloons and everything....
Please also tell me you saw this week's Secret Millionare...where the owners of the "Curves" franchise gave away 380 grand....to charity... But the couple liked one of the reformed real Gs so much that worked in one of the Centers that they gave him 20 grand...and I think they alluded to him using it for education.....at the end they showed him with a used powder blue Cadillac Deville and the caption said he bought the car with the money to get to and from the Charity Center....they forgot to add start a pimping business....and by the way who the fuck goes to Curves?
I've come the conclusion that Bobby Zarin is one cool cat...I can't believe I just typed that....
On the flip side Donald Trump Jr. is a little creepy.....
Do me a favor...if you are on Facebook...Please don't put on your status what you ate or had to eat and if someone you know types that...please do not respond "Yum"....
Tamra could not make Fernada's citizenship party...what a shame because it looked like a real bash...balloons and everything....
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Something happened to them man....
Somebody told me today that he had a Skinny Girl margarita and it tasted like Mr. Clean with a dash of lime.....thank you very little Ms. Ever After ...
Not trying to get all William Miller on this site but am listening to the Broken Bells self titled 2010 album while typing this...I feel like I've taken a shower with Gary and Wyatt...a real "mindscrambler"...
Won our first Little League game today against Spring Lake..some coach on the other team kept saying "lock and load" to his players while batting..as I was walking off the field tasting the sweet smell of victory I muttered to myself "lock and load this... mother fucker"...ha
My pitcher had a perfect game after 4 innings and I pulled him out of mercy .....don't worry his father is my friend and assistant coach and agreed....but....thought after game....if my my drunken Drill Sergeant Little League coaches from the 70s would have heard about that they probably would have puked...but not before 20 dry heaves....and calling me a pussy...and making me run 20 laps....then calling me a pussy again...
Been watching the Daily Show with John Stewart...forgot how much I like my fellow suburbanTrenton homey and his moderate liberal like minded views...
Teen Dad 2...Gregg B. keeps getting me to try to watch this....the one thing I noticed..every teen dad has bad facial hair, old beat up baseball hats, poor teeth and weird ear piercings.....I never got laid in high school how the fuck did these losers ????
I did, however, in 9th grade....have a senior from Princeton Day school who lived down the street from me who would give me and my friends blow jobs every Saturday night while her parents went Scottish dancing...She was hot...but crazier than a shit house rat....let's move along....
Watched the Real World again...do the guys on the show know there was a thing that was invented in circa 450 b.c. called ...a... shirt.....which they seem to have an allergy to...
These idiot guys barely put their bags down before proffessing their love for some housemate they've known for 45 minutes...
Sorry I don't find conjoined twins fascinating....it freaks me out man!!!!
Thank you for making another Fast and Furious movie...in about two years I will be on my couch at 10 pm on a Sat night after a few beers and go...cool I'll watch this...
One more thing...if anyone read the above and knew William Miller was the kid's name from Almost Famous...they are a fucking genious....
Not trying to get all William Miller on this site but am listening to the Broken Bells self titled 2010 album while typing this...I feel like I've taken a shower with Gary and Wyatt...a real "mindscrambler"...
Won our first Little League game today against Spring Lake..some coach on the other team kept saying "lock and load" to his players while batting..as I was walking off the field tasting the sweet smell of victory I muttered to myself "lock and load this... mother fucker"...ha
My pitcher had a perfect game after 4 innings and I pulled him out of mercy .....don't worry his father is my friend and assistant coach and agreed....but....thought after game....if my my drunken Drill Sergeant Little League coaches from the 70s would have heard about that they probably would have puked...but not before 20 dry heaves....and calling me a pussy...and making me run 20 laps....then calling me a pussy again...
Been watching the Daily Show with John Stewart...forgot how much I like my fellow suburbanTrenton homey and his moderate liberal like minded views...
Teen Dad 2...Gregg B. keeps getting me to try to watch this....the one thing I noticed..every teen dad has bad facial hair, old beat up baseball hats, poor teeth and weird ear piercings.....I never got laid in high school how the fuck did these losers ????
I did, however, in 9th grade....have a senior from Princeton Day school who lived down the street from me who would give me and my friends blow jobs every Saturday night while her parents went Scottish dancing...She was hot...but crazier than a shit house rat....let's move along....
Watched the Real World again...do the guys on the show know there was a thing that was invented in circa 450 b.c. called ...a... shirt.....which they seem to have an allergy to...
These idiot guys barely put their bags down before proffessing their love for some housemate they've known for 45 minutes...
Sorry I don't find conjoined twins fascinating....it freaks me out man!!!!
Thank you for making another Fast and Furious movie...in about two years I will be on my couch at 10 pm on a Sat night after a few beers and go...cool I'll watch this...
One more thing...if anyone read the above and knew William Miller was the kid's name from Almost Famous...they are a fucking genious....
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Still drives that Mack Truck though....
Real Housewives of OC
If Vikki yells out "woo hoo" one more time I am going to kick my TV in...
The very special post pardum episode....with Cybil Sheppard starring as Peggy and Parker Stevenson as her husband. Mary Kate Olsen travels back in time to make as a guest appearance as baby Capri.....a young baby who is rushed to the hospital while on vacation in a terrifying paper cut incident...
Bethany Ever After is ice skating....what on earth will that show think of next? I know.....How about having her shut up for two seconds......
Why is it at the drive-thru at Burger King I always somehow hope and think from the voice that the girl taking my order is somehow hot...and when I get up to get my food..she is inevitably...not...
Speaking of Burger King....I am already ashamed that I ate that shit for lunch today...please don't try to use that hot voice to get me to order some awful apple pie lard fest on top of it....
Lastly, I don't watch Dancing with the Stars...but why are they saying this is Ralph Macchio's comeback? Didn't any of them see Beer League? Entourage? He's been back baby!
If Vikki yells out "woo hoo" one more time I am going to kick my TV in...
The very special post pardum episode....with Cybil Sheppard starring as Peggy and Parker Stevenson as her husband. Mary Kate Olsen travels back in time to make as a guest appearance as baby Capri.....a young baby who is rushed to the hospital while on vacation in a terrifying paper cut incident...
Bethany Ever After is ice skating....what on earth will that show think of next? I know.....How about having her shut up for two seconds......
Why is it at the drive-thru at Burger King I always somehow hope and think from the voice that the girl taking my order is somehow hot...and when I get up to get my food..she is inevitably...not...
Speaking of Burger King....I am already ashamed that I ate that shit for lunch today...please don't try to use that hot voice to get me to order some awful apple pie lard fest on top of it....
Lastly, I don't watch Dancing with the Stars...but why are they saying this is Ralph Macchio's comeback? Didn't any of them see Beer League? Entourage? He's been back baby!
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Watch the leather man.....
Typing this listening to the new Strokes CD, f'ing genious....
Funny... first I had records...then tapes, must have owned 3000 of those stupid tapes...speaking of tapes... what time we all wasted fast forwarding those things...then Cds...must have spend 17 grand on fucking CDs.... now I download and burn onto CDs...and people still call me a dinosaur...fuck them all....ha
My first record was Billy Squire "Don't Say No" which was such a corny title..Once Squire made that video for "Rock Me Tonight" in a pink guinny tee and tights rolling around on that bed it was all over.......
Speaking of genious, finally saw The Fighter, A- ...Christian Bale, unbelivable performance.....
Speaking of great charater actors, Phillip Baker Hall on Modern Family....amazing as Mr. Kleezak....
But..of course I can not mention character actors without the greatest character actor of all time...the late great JT Walsh...Google him.....please... underrated ...
I hope when Jersey Shore goes to Italy Sammy and Ron argue the whole fucking time.....
Hell... is you are on line at KMART buying a $3.99 tube of calk and you are waiting for 10 minutes becase one line is open..because..it's fucking KMART....and a new line opens up and they make that dumb statement "I'll take the next asshole in line" and of course all the white trash losers at the end of the line run over...so you are stuck and when you get up there some gross chick with a goatee asks you if you want to donate to the "March of Dimes"...but first has to ask you for your zip code....listen I came here to buy a tube of calk not solve the world's problems..and my zip code is better than yours..so figure it out..and ..have a bad day and thank you very little...fuck you...
And I need calk why?
Somebody at work asked me if I was in a bad mood Thursday and I said "yes I am" and kept walking....ha
Funny... first I had records...then tapes, must have owned 3000 of those stupid tapes...speaking of tapes... what time we all wasted fast forwarding those things...then Cds...must have spend 17 grand on fucking CDs.... now I download and burn onto CDs...and people still call me a dinosaur...fuck them all....ha
My first record was Billy Squire "Don't Say No" which was such a corny title..Once Squire made that video for "Rock Me Tonight" in a pink guinny tee and tights rolling around on that bed it was all over.......
Speaking of genious, finally saw The Fighter, A- ...Christian Bale, unbelivable performance.....
Speaking of great charater actors, Phillip Baker Hall on Modern Family....amazing as Mr. Kleezak....
But..of course I can not mention character actors without the greatest character actor of all time...the late great JT Walsh...Google him.....please... underrated ...
I hope when Jersey Shore goes to Italy Sammy and Ron argue the whole fucking time.....
Hell... is you are on line at KMART buying a $3.99 tube of calk and you are waiting for 10 minutes becase one line is open..because..it's fucking KMART....and a new line opens up and they make that dumb statement "I'll take the next asshole in line" and of course all the white trash losers at the end of the line run over...so you are stuck and when you get up there some gross chick with a goatee asks you if you want to donate to the "March of Dimes"...but first has to ask you for your zip code....listen I came here to buy a tube of calk not solve the world's problems..and my zip code is better than yours..so figure it out..and ..have a bad day and thank you very little...fuck you...
And I need calk why?
Somebody at work asked me if I was in a bad mood Thursday and I said "yes I am" and kept walking....ha
Thursday, March 24, 2011
What's all this one in a million talk?
Real World Las Vegas-
Adam doesn't like to talk about his time in Juuvie, he only likes to brag about it.....
Uh..Adam...there is a big black guy in the house and his name is Leroy...might want to cool it on the bottle smashing thing....
Hate how they all whine about their childhoods...my parents sold drugs..waaa...I was adopted and abused....waaaa....my parents made me rent skiis for a whole season before buying...ok that I can relate to...
Caught a few moments of the latest Survivor..
A. I will never utter the words "Boston Rob"
B. Does the a-hole who wants everyone to pull their weight and says they do all the work in the stupid camp ever fiucking win?
C. Probst definately made a deal with the devil....
When I heard on the radio that Liz Taylor died...my first thought was...Larry Fortensky definately poisoned her....
I know they say she was an icon...I just know her for her "arc" on General Hospital where she tried to like...use a machine to freeze the world or something? Am I the only one who remembers that?
BTW....No... I don't want to see Black Swan...I saw Billy Elliott and that should cover it.....
Adam doesn't like to talk about his time in Juuvie, he only likes to brag about it.....
Uh..Adam...there is a big black guy in the house and his name is Leroy...might want to cool it on the bottle smashing thing....
Hate how they all whine about their childhoods...my parents sold drugs..waaa...I was adopted and abused....waaaa....my parents made me rent skiis for a whole season before buying...ok that I can relate to...
Caught a few moments of the latest Survivor..
A. I will never utter the words "Boston Rob"
B. Does the a-hole who wants everyone to pull their weight and says they do all the work in the stupid camp ever fiucking win?
C. Probst definately made a deal with the devil....
When I heard on the radio that Liz Taylor died...my first thought was...Larry Fortensky definately poisoned her....
I know they say she was an icon...I just know her for her "arc" on General Hospital where she tried to like...use a machine to freeze the world or something? Am I the only one who remembers that?
BTW....No... I don't want to see Black Swan...I saw Billy Elliott and that should cover it.....
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Son there is no draft...
Unless you are hearding cattle there should be no reason to live in NJ and drive one of those 8 cyl. Ford 150 humongous pick up trucks...
Caught a glimpse of Celebrity Apprentice..Donald Trump now looks like Bob Barker's younger brother...how exactly does one get their skin that tangerine color...he looks like a tall white haired umpa loompa...Did I mention his face is orange....
Speaking of Bob Barker...how great is it that he banged all those Showcase showdown girls.....Heard he would have them all over for an orgy but then wind up making fun of the red haired one and telling her to take a hike....and on the way out he would tell the blondes to go get themselves spayed or nuetered...
Up next on an all new Real Housewives of Miami Marisol's plastic face freezes off in the snow in Aspen...and her fianc'e realizes she is 49 and he will never have kids....then he remembers what her mother looks like and he throws himself off a cliff...
Was in Wal Mart the other morning and the whole store staff was having a meeting in a circle and then they started clapping, I yelled out "would you shut up I am trying to shop here"
Jersey Shore
OMG....the moment we've all been waiting for in the finale...Roger tells Jwow that he....I'm getting emotional here sorry...only.....wants...to bang...her..no...other chicks.....I literally have tears in my eyes....
Sooo Ronnie's mom drunk dials him?...and this is the first time we are hearing about her on the show why? Spinoff? please?
By the way, don't even try blaming Arvin for any of this...
Caught a glimpse of Celebrity Apprentice..Donald Trump now looks like Bob Barker's younger brother...how exactly does one get their skin that tangerine color...he looks like a tall white haired umpa loompa...Did I mention his face is orange....
Speaking of Bob Barker...how great is it that he banged all those Showcase showdown girls.....Heard he would have them all over for an orgy but then wind up making fun of the red haired one and telling her to take a hike....and on the way out he would tell the blondes to go get themselves spayed or nuetered...
Up next on an all new Real Housewives of Miami Marisol's plastic face freezes off in the snow in Aspen...and her fianc'e realizes she is 49 and he will never have kids....then he remembers what her mother looks like and he throws himself off a cliff...
Was in Wal Mart the other morning and the whole store staff was having a meeting in a circle and then they started clapping, I yelled out "would you shut up I am trying to shop here"
Jersey Shore
OMG....the moment we've all been waiting for in the finale...Roger tells Jwow that he....I'm getting emotional here sorry...only.....wants...to bang...her..no...other chicks.....I literally have tears in my eyes....
Sooo Ronnie's mom drunk dials him?...and this is the first time we are hearing about her on the show why? Spinoff? please?
By the way, don't even try blaming Arvin for any of this...
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
You mean there was one?
Please pick 1 NCAA braket pool and play it and live and die with it...these people who have to do the one "real one" and the one "wacky one" where they have Belmont winning it all defeats the whole purpose...sorry had to get that off my chest...
There is no way to look cool in a "smart car", they are in one word..stupid....Way to tell the whole world you have no wife and kids....or girlfriend...or friends..
Is it normal to be driving on 195 and thinking "a sniper can take me out very easily from the woods here"....not sure that is....oh well....se la vie (no way that is how you spell it)
Real Housewives of Miami
Ok, I am no hypocrite, or so I think, but not sure I need to see the pig they chose for their pig roast oinking around a pen, then draped over some guys shoulder deader than a door nail then shoved in the back of a Cadillac....Kind of distrurbed me but the ham sandwich I had the next day kind of squelched all that....
It appears Scottie Pippin spends his days lounging on a leather couch while his wife spends all his money...
Real Housewives of the OC...
I love how they are keeping the identity of Tamras latin boyfriend a secret...from the back of his head it appears to be Jose Canseco....
Did Vikki's daughter eat Don?
Tamra had to downsize into a...omg...grab the barf bag again...condo.....and it's only 3200 square feet....her life must be in shambles.....
Went to a Little League coaches meeting tonight...and there were 3 umpires there who gave a speech about how to act and the rules etc....so I grabbed my phone and texted to my buddy across the room .."rumor is these umps are giving free blowjobs in the parking lot after this"...
Sooo..... some wacky chick from high school wanted to "friend" me on facebook...took about 3-4 days to figure out who she was and even then was like I think I hated her guts and tried to block her out of my memory...anyway I clicked yes or confirm or whatever the fuck you click...then of course came the posts....all.......bible qoutes..combined with.....my daddy is sick with cancer pray for him...blah blah blah...John 3:14-6.9-(a) 1 says something too boring to read to interpret...blah blah blah....Daddy had a good day today, he had an ice chip...listen bitch I got my own problems (not really, I mean I did have to change the water in my hot tub last week and didn't feel like it, I guess that is a problem right?)...so I went in and clicked "defriend" or whatever...now the chick is reqesting to be my friend every day for the last week...and I keep pressing ignore.......and it is now a question of who can outlast the other......the moral of the story is....don't ever push your religion on me or bore me for that matter unless you are really really really hot.....I mean really really really really hot....This chick was not hot....
Happy St. Patrick's day all.......
There is no way to look cool in a "smart car", they are in one word..stupid....Way to tell the whole world you have no wife and kids....or girlfriend...or friends..
Is it normal to be driving on 195 and thinking "a sniper can take me out very easily from the woods here"....not sure that is....oh well....se la vie (no way that is how you spell it)
Real Housewives of Miami
Ok, I am no hypocrite, or so I think, but not sure I need to see the pig they chose for their pig roast oinking around a pen, then draped over some guys shoulder deader than a door nail then shoved in the back of a Cadillac....Kind of distrurbed me but the ham sandwich I had the next day kind of squelched all that....
It appears Scottie Pippin spends his days lounging on a leather couch while his wife spends all his money...
Real Housewives of the OC...
I love how they are keeping the identity of Tamras latin boyfriend a secret...from the back of his head it appears to be Jose Canseco....
Did Vikki's daughter eat Don?
Tamra had to downsize into a...omg...grab the barf bag again...condo.....and it's only 3200 square feet....her life must be in shambles.....
Went to a Little League coaches meeting tonight...and there were 3 umpires there who gave a speech about how to act and the rules etc....so I grabbed my phone and texted to my buddy across the room .."rumor is these umps are giving free blowjobs in the parking lot after this"...
Sooo..... some wacky chick from high school wanted to "friend" me on facebook...took about 3-4 days to figure out who she was and even then was like I think I hated her guts and tried to block her out of my memory...anyway I clicked yes or confirm or whatever the fuck you click...then of course came the posts....all.......bible qoutes..combined with.....my daddy is sick with cancer pray for him...blah blah blah...John 3:14-6.9-(a) 1 says something too boring to read to interpret...blah blah blah....Daddy had a good day today, he had an ice chip...listen bitch I got my own problems (not really, I mean I did have to change the water in my hot tub last week and didn't feel like it, I guess that is a problem right?)...so I went in and clicked "defriend" or whatever...now the chick is reqesting to be my friend every day for the last week...and I keep pressing ignore.......and it is now a question of who can outlast the other......the moral of the story is....don't ever push your religion on me or bore me for that matter unless you are really really really hot.....I mean really really really really hot....This chick was not hot....
Happy St. Patrick's day all.......
Friday, March 11, 2011
Uncle Hulka?
The follwing statements are after 4-5 Bacardi drinks so bear with me....(okay 5-6)
Sooooo...
Am coaching a Little League team, told the kids after every game, no matter what happens after games, we are getting ice cream...so make sure you bring two bucks each...
Also told them they are on my team for one reason and one reason only, the have hot moms....and their Dads that don't piss me off.....now go out there and get a hit...
Sometimes I feel like Loudin Swain and I am on a Lunatic Fringe.....
Speaking of Vision Quest where is the hell is Michael Shoefling....what a fucking d-r-e-a-m-b-o-a-t...way hotter than Molly Ringwald...
Why do I find a sudden urge to use the word "whoopie" when describing sex in a sentence...
Speaking of sex, internet porn seems to be never ending...like the milky way...was on one site and they had a section called "Recommended for you", thought to myself how the f' do they know I like those fake casting couch porn videos..then I thought to myself "holy shit, I am a sick fucker"....
I hate when people desribe porn or a strip club then try to say something like "or so I've heard" shut the f up, and man up and get real...then go just far enough to tell somewhat of the truth...(Sorry....Charlie Sheen moment)
Jersey Shore
Sammy please take those glasses off you look retarded
So a basic Saturday lunch in Staten Island at Vinnies house includes 30 family members?
Deena "d" or whatever her name is has added as much to the Jersey Shore and that little redheaded shithead Sam did to Season 7 of Different Strokes...Am so suprised that bowl headed carrot top's music career never skyrocketed..he played a mean geeetar...
Sooooo...
Am coaching a Little League team, told the kids after every game, no matter what happens after games, we are getting ice cream...so make sure you bring two bucks each...
Also told them they are on my team for one reason and one reason only, the have hot moms....and their Dads that don't piss me off.....now go out there and get a hit...
Sometimes I feel like Loudin Swain and I am on a Lunatic Fringe.....
Speaking of Vision Quest where is the hell is Michael Shoefling....what a fucking d-r-e-a-m-b-o-a-t...way hotter than Molly Ringwald...
Why do I find a sudden urge to use the word "whoopie" when describing sex in a sentence...
Speaking of sex, internet porn seems to be never ending...like the milky way...was on one site and they had a section called "Recommended for you", thought to myself how the f' do they know I like those fake casting couch porn videos..then I thought to myself "holy shit, I am a sick fucker"....
I hate when people desribe porn or a strip club then try to say something like "or so I've heard" shut the f up, and man up and get real...then go just far enough to tell somewhat of the truth...(Sorry....Charlie Sheen moment)
Jersey Shore
Sammy please take those glasses off you look retarded
So a basic Saturday lunch in Staten Island at Vinnies house includes 30 family members?
Deena "d" or whatever her name is has added as much to the Jersey Shore and that little redheaded shithead Sam did to Season 7 of Different Strokes...Am so suprised that bowl headed carrot top's music career never skyrocketed..he played a mean geeetar...
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
You just don't know Damone...
Anyone else go to Dollar General stores? I go to one near Trenton, where I work, ...sooo..I went on Tuesday...bought a jar of valsoline and when I got home I noticed a finger swipe was taken out of it......when I was there I overheard the phrase "them diapers be only $6 .50"....thought to myself at one point "Is the 75 cents off of Sensedyne worth getting inadvertintly shot in a botched hold-up?"......got my dogs rawhide treats which he just f'ing hates...for some reason bought a hammer there for $2.79, took a swing at a nail on my fence yesterday and the hammer bent in half.....and finally the tin foil I got there doesn't wrap shit...but...I..still love the place...why? ...."Cause that dog food be $5.50" "And it be Purina"
Hate/pity... the old 100 year old lady there in the house dress with the mustache, huge ankles and missing teeth digging in her purse to dig out the $7.83 for pantyhose, DG brand mustard, sardines and light bulbs she just shuffled up to the counter with....I am seconds from yelling "would you hurry up already, pay and and get in your Plymouth Duster and go back to your shanty"...Then she turns and says "thanks for your patience" and I feel like like the biggest turd in the world.....
There is always some nerdy manager in Andy Sipowitz gear (short sleeve shirt, tie) "managing" what appears to be a bunch of gangbangers and meth-heads...Do you think he knows some day he will be beaten and left unconscious by his subordinates in the back alley".....
Was watching Million Dollar Listing, Malibu must be great but I’ve seen bigger stretches of sand in Perth Amboy…
If you are next to me on a plane please don’t take off your shoes…I don't want to smell or see those gross feet….or as I call them..... “tootsies”
A scene from "Basketball Wives"
“I was married to Sedale Threat” “Oh yeah well I was married to World B. Free”... Hunny I was married to Geurge Muresan….ggiiirll....we rich…oh here comes Olden Polyniece's wife, I hate that bitch....the end….
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Escuse me Dougie Fresh...
Is it me or Charlie Sheen starting to actually make some sense?
Watched a Season whatever Real Housewives of OC marathon and came to the conclusion that that dude Simon is a total prick....I can't believe I got his name tatooed on my finger too....
Thinking about changing my name and calling myself "Slade"....
Also caught a "Bethany Everafter" the one where she...get this...hold your nose...grab a vomit bag...she goes..to...Pennsylvania....eeewwwwww...how did she ever garner the courage to do it.....
I gotta get myself in the Bravo clubhouse...
Tearjerker Alert!!!! Secret Millionare on ABC, why don't you just rub an onion in my eye while playing the ending of Hoosiers on a continous loop...
Was sitting in my hottub and sipping a beer on Friday night and thought to myself "Duh, winning"....then I thought to myself...that is soooo three days ago...
Watched a Season whatever Real Housewives of OC marathon and came to the conclusion that that dude Simon is a total prick....I can't believe I got his name tatooed on my finger too....
Thinking about changing my name and calling myself "Slade"....
Also caught a "Bethany Everafter" the one where she...get this...hold your nose...grab a vomit bag...she goes..to...Pennsylvania....eeewwwwww...how did she ever garner the courage to do it.....
I gotta get myself in the Bravo clubhouse...
Tearjerker Alert!!!! Secret Millionare on ABC, why don't you just rub an onion in my eye while playing the ending of Hoosiers on a continous loop...
Was sitting in my hottub and sipping a beer on Friday night and thought to myself "Duh, winning"....then I thought to myself...that is soooo three days ago...
Monday, February 28, 2011
F' Jeff Goldblum, man!
The Oscars...
Kirk Douglas...Awwwkkkwwaaarrd...The guy was Spartacus...now he's the creepy incoherant old guy from the Oscars who wouldn't shut up...He has somehow managed to make Cameron Douglas the 2nd most emarrassing Douglas...Dude, realize you had a stroke but do you still really need the limelight that much at 107?
Must have missed the movies that made Hugh Jackman this revered movie star? Was it Swordfish or Wolverine? Anyway...the Aussie who should be having his ass kissed is Russell Crowe, not this guy...
Instead of playing the songs to get the winners off the stage..why not just have someone yell "get the fuck
off......we don't care"
J. Franco was high right?
Pet Peeve alert: Sorry but can't stand these things and have to get off my chest...
A. When someone says someone " Dropped the F'bomb"
B. When someone says they "party like a rock star"...
C. When someone starts off a sentence with the words "Me thinks..."
Kirk Douglas...Awwwkkkwwaaarrd...The guy was Spartacus...now he's the creepy incoherant old guy from the Oscars who wouldn't shut up...He has somehow managed to make Cameron Douglas the 2nd most emarrassing Douglas...Dude, realize you had a stroke but do you still really need the limelight that much at 107?
Must have missed the movies that made Hugh Jackman this revered movie star? Was it Swordfish or Wolverine? Anyway...the Aussie who should be having his ass kissed is Russell Crowe, not this guy...
Instead of playing the songs to get the winners off the stage..why not just have someone yell "get the fuck
off......we don't care"
J. Franco was high right?
Pet Peeve alert: Sorry but can't stand these things and have to get off my chest...
A. When someone says someone " Dropped the F'bomb"
B. When someone says they "party like a rock star"...
C. When someone starts off a sentence with the words "Me thinks..."
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Your too shy shy...hush hush eye to eye...
Liam Nielson’s new movie "Unknown" looks like a cross between Taken and Taken…
Watched back to back episodes of Storage Wars last night. Still can’t wrap my head around someone not paying rent on a storage unit but having $2300 stuffed behind an oil painting in the f’ing unit…Where are these people, are they dead? Kidnapped? The only thing I do wish, however, is that Darrell would stop wearing tank tops…
Was in my office today and I farted, then realized my Secretary was right outside...so I started doing the beat box.......not sure it worked....
Would Chase and Zoey just "do it" already...I am getting tired of this cat and mouse game...
Would Chase and Zoey just "do it" already...I am getting tired of this cat and mouse game...
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Threat Level Midnight...
I unfortunately caught the Jersey Shore last night...I thought Ronnie was supposed to be keeping it real with Xenodrine? Guy was sobbing all over the place...There's no crying at Karma!
I hope they change the sheets in the "smush room"....or at least kick a little Fabreeze in there....
Not feeling the Real Housewives of Miami yet....Or should I call it the Real Housewives of the NBA...."I am so succesful and rich, I run the house and finances"...oh yeah by the way I am married to Scottie Pippin...little tidbit...
The one chick's Mom looks like Vincent from that old Beauty and the Beast TV show....
Please someone tell me they saw the latest X-Life when Cory visits his deranged family.....genious...and sad....but more genious....
There is a guy at my work, works in the mailroom, is a little off, he calls me "Mark" ...problem is my name is not Mark.....corrected him at first but now I just answer to "Hi Mark"...Did I mention this has been going on for 10 years...
Is there a grosser thing than watching someone eat cheesefries?
My buddy Gregg B. tells me he went to the movies to see No Strings Attached....my response: You fucking paid for an Ashton Kutcher movie? Then he tried to pass it off as a Ludicris movie....He rebounds that he thinks he "caught a glimpse of Natalie Portman's rosie nipple in one of the scenes"......ok....you get a pass...this time...
My wife tells me the other day that saying Really?....Really ? after something is said is played out and stupid....Then I heard someone say it in a 7-11 and realized how f'ing right she is....thank you Ms. Ranchwood, thank you..
I hope they change the sheets in the "smush room"....or at least kick a little Fabreeze in there....
Not feeling the Real Housewives of Miami yet....Or should I call it the Real Housewives of the NBA...."I am so succesful and rich, I run the house and finances"...oh yeah by the way I am married to Scottie Pippin...little tidbit...
The one chick's Mom looks like Vincent from that old Beauty and the Beast TV show....
Please someone tell me they saw the latest X-Life when Cory visits his deranged family.....genious...and sad....but more genious....
There is a guy at my work, works in the mailroom, is a little off, he calls me "Mark" ...problem is my name is not Mark.....corrected him at first but now I just answer to "Hi Mark"...Did I mention this has been going on for 10 years...
Is there a grosser thing than watching someone eat cheesefries?
My buddy Gregg B. tells me he went to the movies to see No Strings Attached....my response: You fucking paid for an Ashton Kutcher movie? Then he tried to pass it off as a Ludicris movie....He rebounds that he thinks he "caught a glimpse of Natalie Portman's rosie nipple in one of the scenes"......ok....you get a pass...this time...
My wife tells me the other day that saying Really?....Really ? after something is said is played out and stupid....Then I heard someone say it in a 7-11 and realized how f'ing right she is....thank you Ms. Ranchwood, thank you..
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Let's do it for Johhny....
Back from my trip to San Juan...great place by the way...
Why is there always one guy on the plane that has to be seen and heard...and does he really have to wear shorts on the way down, don't worry dude you can change when you get there? And why he is always on the return flight home as well....
On the way home the Stewardess asked the shorts guy if he had a great trip...his response "pretty much"...What the f does that mean?.....Of course I started thinking all the things that could result in a "pretty much response" and came to the conclusion that he probably he had a great trip but the last night he was anally raped by a gang of locals...
Hell has to be the moment when the plane lands, everyone has their carry-ons and you have to wait for the door to open and the idiots in the front to file out....
Saw a pretty awful Kathryn Heigle/Josh Duhammel movie on way home...Can't remember the name...but you know the typical we have a raise our friends baby because they died story......We hate each other..oh no our best friends died in horrible car accident let's grieve for 3 seconds....now we are raising a baby together....you change the diaper it really smells....hahahaahah...let's fall in love...Wait....I don't want this...wait yes I do...the end...
American Idol
Ashley Sullivan looks like Parker Posey on crack...what a mess...
Has anyone gotten more of a pass than Jayce Barduex....or as I like to call him Andy Milakinisduex......
What's up with all the stupid parents hanging around....and can one of them please be attractive and fit?
Wow Blake Griffin jumped over a car for the All-Star Dunk contest! No one worried about the car, it was just a Kia....we all know the only one on earth who actually loves those cars is Carl Banks....and by the way, he didn't jump over it, I think his right foot might have went over the front license plate.
Why is there always one guy on the plane that has to be seen and heard...and does he really have to wear shorts on the way down, don't worry dude you can change when you get there? And why he is always on the return flight home as well....
On the way home the Stewardess asked the shorts guy if he had a great trip...his response "pretty much"...What the f does that mean?.....Of course I started thinking all the things that could result in a "pretty much response" and came to the conclusion that he probably he had a great trip but the last night he was anally raped by a gang of locals...
Hell has to be the moment when the plane lands, everyone has their carry-ons and you have to wait for the door to open and the idiots in the front to file out....
Saw a pretty awful Kathryn Heigle/Josh Duhammel movie on way home...Can't remember the name...but you know the typical we have a raise our friends baby because they died story......We hate each other..oh no our best friends died in horrible car accident let's grieve for 3 seconds....now we are raising a baby together....you change the diaper it really smells....hahahaahah...let's fall in love...Wait....I don't want this...wait yes I do...the end...
American Idol
Ashley Sullivan looks like Parker Posey on crack...what a mess...
Has anyone gotten more of a pass than Jayce Barduex....or as I like to call him Andy Milakinisduex......
What's up with all the stupid parents hanging around....and can one of them please be attractive and fit?
Wow Blake Griffin jumped over a car for the All-Star Dunk contest! No one worried about the car, it was just a Kia....we all know the only one on earth who actually loves those cars is Carl Banks....and by the way, he didn't jump over it, I think his right foot might have went over the front license plate.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
outin glieben glouten globen...
My Life as Liz...Yes it must be so tough being 18, having your own TV show and living in NYC...quit your whinning....hippie....
Is it me or is Steven Tyler and J Lo starting to look like other?
Did Ryan Seacrest really just call the first week of Hollywood "hell week"??? The kids that get getting cut are acting like they have to board the first train to Aushwitz after they don't make it... If you are banking on being an American Idiol you better have a serious sitdown with Sir Taylor Hicks....he won and still is a nobody... I could not tell you who even won last year even if you put a gun to my head....
I love when they plead like little wussies when they don't make it..."please give me another chance" or "I know I can do this".. ...why not just say "I'll suck your d**ck" Randy"....maybe that will work....
I love how they always say at the end of the show how "long" it was....You know who has a long day Randy...Longshoreman....Coal miners...they have long days...
Watched Rocky II last night and came to a conclusion: Mickey Goldmill was a man's man.....
Sat down the other night and popped open a watermelon Bartles and James wine cooler....l-i-v-i-n-
Ok I know the above statement is stupid but for some reason it made me laught when I typed it...sorry
Movie Reviews
Wall Street II- Gorden Geckos daughter never wanted the $100 million....uh..yeah ok...a movie about bad credit default swaps..uh ok again...... Grade= Where's the LaBeuf= C +
The Social Network..Bravo Mr. Timberlake...Bravo... Grade: B+
Will be on vacation till 2-18-11 visting the great territory known as Puerto Rico...please check back then....all two of you....thank you for your support....
Is it me or is Steven Tyler and J Lo starting to look like other?
Did Ryan Seacrest really just call the first week of Hollywood "hell week"??? The kids that get getting cut are acting like they have to board the first train to Aushwitz after they don't make it... If you are banking on being an American Idiol you better have a serious sitdown with Sir Taylor Hicks....he won and still is a nobody... I could not tell you who even won last year even if you put a gun to my head....
I love when they plead like little wussies when they don't make it..."please give me another chance" or "I know I can do this".. ...why not just say "I'll suck your d**ck" Randy"....maybe that will work....
I love how they always say at the end of the show how "long" it was....You know who has a long day Randy...Longshoreman....Coal miners...they have long days...
Watched Rocky II last night and came to a conclusion: Mickey Goldmill was a man's man.....
Sat down the other night and popped open a watermelon Bartles and James wine cooler....l-i-v-i-n-
Ok I know the above statement is stupid but for some reason it made me laught when I typed it...sorry
Movie Reviews
Wall Street II- Gorden Geckos daughter never wanted the $100 million....uh..yeah ok...a movie about bad credit default swaps..uh ok again...... Grade= Where's the LaBeuf= C +
The Social Network..Bravo Mr. Timberlake...Bravo... Grade: B+
Will be on vacation till 2-18-11 visting the great territory known as Puerto Rico...please check back then....all two of you....thank you for your support....
Friday, February 4, 2011
The guys in my car club call me the Cruiser...
Entered one of those SuperBowl box pools, the ones where you number you get is the score in each quarter, got 3 and 5 sooo.... that is the 1st half score, 5 to 3, I am calling it right now....
Real Housewives Reuinion part duex
-Oh Camille "Donnatachi" Grammer now realizes the electronic cigarette smoking psychic who insulted everyone and told them she knows when they are going to die might have been a little "kooky"...
-Is that the Jersey City Donnatachi's or the Donnatachi's from Milan? Yeah JC thought so....
-Lisa can't believe Cedric would every do that to them...I mean who would have guessed a 35 year old man who lived scott free in a house for 3 years was a scam artist?
Why doesn't Kyle just admit she wishes Kim escaped back to witch mountain and stayed there...
Kyle can't go 20 minutes without reminding us all she is Paris Hilton's Aunt....Everytime she states it I give her a sarcastic clap in my mind....
Jersey Shore
Ronnie if you are bleeding from your ass from drinking might be time to at least switch to beer...
Was that doctor's house in a cape cod?
Jeff when you wake up from a one night stand with Snooky..sorry Nicole...you are supposed to...GO HOME...embarrassed and ashamed...then a few days later laugh about it with your friends...
Real Housewives Reuinion part duex
-Oh Camille "Donnatachi" Grammer now realizes the electronic cigarette smoking psychic who insulted everyone and told them she knows when they are going to die might have been a little "kooky"...
-Is that the Jersey City Donnatachi's or the Donnatachi's from Milan? Yeah JC thought so....
-Lisa can't believe Cedric would every do that to them...I mean who would have guessed a 35 year old man who lived scott free in a house for 3 years was a scam artist?
Why doesn't Kyle just admit she wishes Kim escaped back to witch mountain and stayed there...
Kyle can't go 20 minutes without reminding us all she is Paris Hilton's Aunt....Everytime she states it I give her a sarcastic clap in my mind....
Jersey Shore
Ronnie if you are bleeding from your ass from drinking might be time to at least switch to beer...
Was that doctor's house in a cape cod?
Jeff when you wake up from a one night stand with Snooky..sorry Nicole...you are supposed to...GO HOME...embarrassed and ashamed...then a few days later laugh about it with your friends...
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Set it off on the left y'all...set it off....
Justin Beiber's new movie "Never say Never"...I will Never see.....
No matter what Sir Charles Sheen does...it can never be more embarrassing than his acting in "Men at Work".
Played basketball Tuesday night with some "30 somethinngs"....?
A. Was easily the worst one there...did I mention 22 guys played?
B. I think I passed out during the first game but kept on playing while unconscious...would explain the 2 airballs...ok 3 but who was counting
C. Finally scored two baskets in last game...then waved my finger ala Mutumbo at all of them....
Does anyone else despise the "Jiffy Lube" experience?..
A. Could the waiting room be more greasy?
B. When thy come in and say "Mr. Ranchwood, can I see you out here please" I always feel like they are going to tell me I have brain cancer
C. Convinced the show every sap the same crappy old airfilter
D. No dipshit, I don't want the engine flush for $79.99
E. Thanks, could the receipt be bigger, am I supposed to frame this thing?
Parks and Rec back..still genious...The Office still gold...
No matter what Sir Charles Sheen does...it can never be more embarrassing than his acting in "Men at Work".
Played basketball Tuesday night with some "30 somethinngs"....?
A. Was easily the worst one there...did I mention 22 guys played?
B. I think I passed out during the first game but kept on playing while unconscious...would explain the 2 airballs...ok 3 but who was counting
C. Finally scored two baskets in last game...then waved my finger ala Mutumbo at all of them....
Does anyone else despise the "Jiffy Lube" experience?..
A. Could the waiting room be more greasy?
B. When thy come in and say "Mr. Ranchwood, can I see you out here please" I always feel like they are going to tell me I have brain cancer
C. Convinced the show every sap the same crappy old airfilter
D. No dipshit, I don't want the engine flush for $79.99
E. Thanks, could the receipt be bigger, am I supposed to frame this thing?
Parks and Rec back..still genious...The Office still gold...
Friday, January 28, 2011
We ride limos too....
Was thinking of the best stripper songs and came up with this list
1. Change by the Deftones
2. Mother by Danzig
3. Any song by Motley Crue or Godsmack
Real Housewives BH Reunion...Part 1
Did anyone else catch this...basically Andy Cohen would read a card from "listeners" that said things like..."Camille...Jill from Lincoln Nebraska wants to know why you are a stupid slut"...then he would follow it up with ...."how does that make you feel"...? or Taylor.."Susan from Park City Utah says your collegean lips look ridiculous"..."can you respond that"...Genious.....
I still haven't gotten an answer Ronnie..and I think I deserve one....are you officially friends with JWoww or NOT?
1. Change by the Deftones
2. Mother by Danzig
3. Any song by Motley Crue or Godsmack
Real Housewives BH Reunion...Part 1
Did anyone else catch this...basically Andy Cohen would read a card from "listeners" that said things like..."Camille...Jill from Lincoln Nebraska wants to know why you are a stupid slut"...then he would follow it up with ...."how does that make you feel"...? or Taylor.."Susan from Park City Utah says your collegean lips look ridiculous"..."can you respond that"...Genious.....
I still haven't gotten an answer Ronnie..and I think I deserve one....are you officially friends with JWoww or NOT?
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Din dada din dodo...
Ok it's snowing, but I look outside last night and my whole street had their car winshied wipers sticking straight up...Really? must have missed that group meeting where they all decided would all be anal freaks...then I woke up to 10 inches of snow and noticed my wipers were blocks of ice...
Just watched a Dog the Bounty Hunter...they go to an airport to arrest a fugitive but the cops get him first...and Dog is acting like the guy missed out becuase he didn't get a chance to hear one of his dumb speeches...Never really been arrested but am sure I wouldn't need a speech on how f'd up I am by some guy with his shirt open....
Speaking of that show I thought Hawaii was supposed to be a paradise....they make it look like it is just one big crappy apartment complex filled with crack whores and kids with no shoes on running around....
It was Dogs 200th episode and they had some pre-show celebrating it...Beth actually says.."when I look back I can't believe the ridiculous outfits I USED to wear"...When she says looking back, does she mean 5 minutes ago?
Where exactly was Alice's room in the Brady Bunch, it looked like it was sandwiched in beween the stove and the sink? Maybe under the stairs?
Didn't watch American Idol last night...they were in Milwaukee?? Really? When I think of Milwaukee I think of Laverne & Shirley, Camine Ragusso and the Shotz Brewery...in that order...wholy shit now that I think of it Milwaukee must be awesume...
Just watched a Dog the Bounty Hunter...they go to an airport to arrest a fugitive but the cops get him first...and Dog is acting like the guy missed out becuase he didn't get a chance to hear one of his dumb speeches...Never really been arrested but am sure I wouldn't need a speech on how f'd up I am by some guy with his shirt open....
Speaking of that show I thought Hawaii was supposed to be a paradise....they make it look like it is just one big crappy apartment complex filled with crack whores and kids with no shoes on running around....
It was Dogs 200th episode and they had some pre-show celebrating it...Beth actually says.."when I look back I can't believe the ridiculous outfits I USED to wear"...When she says looking back, does she mean 5 minutes ago?
Where exactly was Alice's room in the Brady Bunch, it looked like it was sandwiched in beween the stove and the sink? Maybe under the stairs?
Didn't watch American Idol last night...they were in Milwaukee?? Really? When I think of Milwaukee I think of Laverne & Shirley, Camine Ragusso and the Shotz Brewery...in that order...wholy shit now that I think of it Milwaukee must be awesume...
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Papa Large...Big Shot on the East Coast....
Fatal error syndrom? What the F was I drinking that night...ok yeah, jello shots, now I remember....
I am drawing the line at Richard Lewis look-alike Bethany Frankel's new show...Let me guess.... her life is soooo overwhelming with a new baby...forget the fact she has assistants, nannies and no real job. I see her husband, who of course just hates the limelight, had no problem signing up for season 3 of that suckfest.
Tabitha from that Salon make-over show has hair like Dennis the Menace...but I have no problem watching back to back to back episodes...Oh shit.... did 4 hours just pass?
I've never eaten at a Papa Johns...that owner seems way too happy in those dumb commercials...but there is no way those snot pies are any good....
Housewives of Atlanta
Those concerts must be really exhausting for Kim, with her one song and all....
Maybw Ne Ne can play LB for the Giants?
I am drawing the line at Richard Lewis look-alike Bethany Frankel's new show...Let me guess.... her life is soooo overwhelming with a new baby...forget the fact she has assistants, nannies and no real job. I see her husband, who of course just hates the limelight, had no problem signing up for season 3 of that suckfest.
Tabitha from that Salon make-over show has hair like Dennis the Menace...but I have no problem watching back to back to back episodes...Oh shit.... did 4 hours just pass?
I've never eaten at a Papa Johns...that owner seems way too happy in those dumb commercials...but there is no way those snot pies are any good....
Housewives of Atlanta
Those concerts must be really exhausting for Kim, with her one song and all....
Maybw Ne Ne can play LB for the Giants?
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Whoop there it is....
Was thinking tonight that life decsions sometimes can be swayed the Fatal error syndrom...Meaning one fatal error can ruin everything......then I realized "wasn't there a movie called Fatal Error starring Antonio Sabato Jr?
Friday, January 21, 2011
Name's not Boy.....it's Roy...
Turned into the last 20 minutes of American Idol last night...still can't get over Steven Tyler on it, if Joe Perry was dead he'd be rolling over in his grave...
But then I thought...Rockin Rollercoster...Wii Rockband....Armageadun soundtrack...maybe not as big of a sell-out as I thought... and yes I know I spelled Armageadin wrong..too lazy to look up...
Red headed 16 year old who was picked on by bullies and has lisp who nailed it....tears rolling down my face...Check....Pudgy 15 year old with yellow teeth who sings like an "angel"...more tears...check 2....I think there is something in my eye....last semi-hot chick with special needs kid...ok I am all cried out here sister....no more tears.....kid looks fine to me...(Did I mention this was all in 20 minutres?)
Housewives of Beverly Hills Finale was one long depressing fight...my man Martin was definately looking for that eject button in that limo
So Kelsey Grammer cross-dresses...funny I always thought a guy with a name like "Kelsey" would be all-man.
The Situation made 5 million last year but he has to work in that stupid t-shirt store...C'mon...
Friend I really respected today asked me "who is Andy Coen?"...dude..brush up on your Bravo...
But then I thought...Rockin Rollercoster...Wii Rockband....Armageadun soundtrack...maybe not as big of a sell-out as I thought... and yes I know I spelled Armageadin wrong..too lazy to look up...
Red headed 16 year old who was picked on by bullies and has lisp who nailed it....tears rolling down my face...Check....Pudgy 15 year old with yellow teeth who sings like an "angel"...more tears...check 2....I think there is something in my eye....last semi-hot chick with special needs kid...ok I am all cried out here sister....no more tears.....kid looks fine to me...(Did I mention this was all in 20 minutres?)
Housewives of Beverly Hills Finale was one long depressing fight...my man Martin was definately looking for that eject button in that limo
So Kelsey Grammer cross-dresses...funny I always thought a guy with a name like "Kelsey" would be all-man.
The Situation made 5 million last year but he has to work in that stupid t-shirt store...C'mon...
Friend I really respected today asked me "who is Andy Coen?"...dude..brush up on your Bravo...
Thursday, January 20, 2011
We don't have a cow...we have a bull....
Robert Deniro... I saw your Golden Globes speech and I actually saw Stanley & Iris and Jackknife and....they both sucked.....royally... Mad Dog and Glory was no picnic either...but your still the man...
Haven't seen any of those nominated movies......but something tells me Inglorious Bastards is better than all of them...
Talking about the teleprompter cutting you off is sooo 1999.....
Storage Wars
When I get older I hope I have hair like Barry Weiss...and dress like him....could probably do without the bidding on lockers full of others people's crap thing though
It appears only the shows "stars" bid on the lockers...what exactly are the other 15-20 people/riff-raff hanging out there for?
Missed the end of the Celebrity Rehab finale...Is Gummy Bear Jason Davis going to Sober Living or has he decide he is going to die....?
Jermey London's wife looks like she may have been hot once but fell victim to an awful frying pan in the face accident...
It's winter time so that means one thing at the shore..Polar Bear Plunges...yayy..ahh but it is for a good cause...skip jumping in the f'ing ocean and write a check people....
Ok maybe in a bad mood today but when did Facebook become one big ass kissing session? Just asking becuase it is getting nauseating...If I read one more post abut how beautiful someone kids are or how special a person someone is I may puke..
Watched "The X life" last night...then went out to try some tricks on my Schwinn Stingray..
Kelsey Grammer acting like he can hold down his vomit when he sees Camille may be his best acting job ever...
Beyond Scared Straight is beyond funny....
Haven't seen any of those nominated movies......but something tells me Inglorious Bastards is better than all of them...
Talking about the teleprompter cutting you off is sooo 1999.....
Storage Wars
When I get older I hope I have hair like Barry Weiss...and dress like him....could probably do without the bidding on lockers full of others people's crap thing though
It appears only the shows "stars" bid on the lockers...what exactly are the other 15-20 people/riff-raff hanging out there for?
Missed the end of the Celebrity Rehab finale...Is Gummy Bear Jason Davis going to Sober Living or has he decide he is going to die....?
Jermey London's wife looks like she may have been hot once but fell victim to an awful frying pan in the face accident...
It's winter time so that means one thing at the shore..Polar Bear Plunges...yayy..ahh but it is for a good cause...skip jumping in the f'ing ocean and write a check people....
Ok maybe in a bad mood today but when did Facebook become one big ass kissing session? Just asking becuase it is getting nauseating...If I read one more post abut how beautiful someone kids are or how special a person someone is I may puke..
Watched "The X life" last night...then went out to try some tricks on my Schwinn Stingray..
Kelsey Grammer acting like he can hold down his vomit when he sees Camille may be his best acting job ever...
Beyond Scared Straight is beyond funny....
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Give me the madman....
Housewives of Atlanta
Never heard of a Sip and See...but I want to have one too when our kitchen is done....now if I can only get Dwight there....
Easy Kim, don't act like you've never been on a skanky tour bus before....
Turned into Dog Bounty Hunter last night and he was wearing reading glasses...he looked so distinguished...
Housewives of Beverly Hills
Let me get this straight...if you are rich you walk around holding a small dog....it is totally acceptable.. but..if you are not rich...doing so means you are white trash....Check...because let's face it no one really wants to see a f'ing dog in their face when you are hanging at a party...
Speaking of white trash...go hang at a Target in the Patio Furniture section...you will be totally amazed how many white trash peeps buy expensive patio shit....Do only I notice that?....Every thime I am there....which is maybe twice a year so maybe I have no idea what I am talking about.
Ok Kyle, easy with "my husbands business affairs...Camille and Kelesey won't do business again with Mauricio...blah blah blah"...he's an f'ing real estate agent, he sells houses....he's not a heart surgean"...
On the flip side...Maloof's husband is a doctor...but she acts like he's a f'ing doofus....And by the way who is this demon child kid of theirs that keeps breaking his nose?
Does a prerequisite as a boss for doing Underscover Boss mean you have you have to whine like a bitch on the jobsite?
Never heard of a Sip and See...but I want to have one too when our kitchen is done....now if I can only get Dwight there....
Easy Kim, don't act like you've never been on a skanky tour bus before....
Turned into Dog Bounty Hunter last night and he was wearing reading glasses...he looked so distinguished...
Housewives of Beverly Hills
Let me get this straight...if you are rich you walk around holding a small dog....it is totally acceptable.. but..if you are not rich...doing so means you are white trash....Check...because let's face it no one really wants to see a f'ing dog in their face when you are hanging at a party...
Speaking of white trash...go hang at a Target in the Patio Furniture section...you will be totally amazed how many white trash peeps buy expensive patio shit....Do only I notice that?....Every thime I am there....which is maybe twice a year so maybe I have no idea what I am talking about.
Ok Kyle, easy with "my husbands business affairs...Camille and Kelesey won't do business again with Mauricio...blah blah blah"...he's an f'ing real estate agent, he sells houses....he's not a heart surgean"...
On the flip side...Maloof's husband is a doctor...but she acts like he's a f'ing doofus....And by the way who is this demon child kid of theirs that keeps breaking his nose?
Does a prerequisite as a boss for doing Underscover Boss mean you have you have to whine like a bitch on the jobsite?
Thursday, January 13, 2011
This is Choco...from the Hartz Mountains of Germany...
Housewives of Beverly Hills
Did Kyle's daughter graduate college or cure cancer? Thanks Mom for the ugly ring....
Waaaa...Taylor went gold digging, now her husand is a dud...waaaa
Kelsey Grammer is worth 120 million?...what...did he have the back end of "Down Periscope"?
Lisa is commissioning a new Pinot Noir for her restarturant Pina Blanca so she is traveling to the winery estate to seal the deal...she is so down to earth...
Who exactly is Cedric? and does the money he make from being a male prostitute cover his bills?
Jersey Shore
Not sure I get this whole "cuddle" with me thing...in my day if a girl ever asked me to "cuddle" with her I would make sure I brought a condom...ok I am lying...probably would not have used a condom...
OMG Jwow forgot her and Tom's Anniversary? wasn't aware they are married...I'm f'ing married and barely remember my anniversary...what anniversary are they talking about...the first time he felt her fake tits?
If you need me I'll be at Karma....
Did Kyle's daughter graduate college or cure cancer? Thanks Mom for the ugly ring....
Waaaa...Taylor went gold digging, now her husand is a dud...waaaa
Kelsey Grammer is worth 120 million?...what...did he have the back end of "Down Periscope"?
Lisa is commissioning a new Pinot Noir for her restarturant Pina Blanca so she is traveling to the winery estate to seal the deal...she is so down to earth...
Who exactly is Cedric? and does the money he make from being a male prostitute cover his bills?
Jersey Shore
Not sure I get this whole "cuddle" with me thing...in my day if a girl ever asked me to "cuddle" with her I would make sure I brought a condom...ok I am lying...probably would not have used a condom...
OMG Jwow forgot her and Tom's Anniversary? wasn't aware they are married...I'm f'ing married and barely remember my anniversary...what anniversary are they talking about...the first time he felt her fake tits?
If you need me I'll be at Karma....
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
-those are friend prices...
Suprise suprise, Ted Williams...the radio homeless guy... has 9 kids whom he never paid child support for, was a pimp, thief, now in rehab but still soooo inspiring to millions of losers...his head isn't frozen like the real Ted Williams but it does look like it has been smacked around with the a wrench a bit like his...
Hollywood keeps cranking out original movies...The Roomate looks nothing like Single White Female.....
Is it me or do movies totally suck now....the last good movie I saw was "Taken". Wasn't that like 2007 or something...Tried to watch Inception....after 20 minutes I was like ....this is the retarded kid from Gilbert Grape isn't it.....(best acting job of all time by the way, robbed at Oscars)
Speaking of movies about speal needs peeps, not to get all Tropic Thunder, but the worst movie of all time on the subject is without a doubt: The Other Sister, basically Juliette Lewis and Giovanni Ribisi want to get married or something...ok....problem is they... are.... retarded...or are they?....they don't look retarded...but they...talk slow....and can't do math.....oh forget it, they can't be together...But Ma I muv him....awful...
I'd apologize for using the word retarded but I don't think my 1 follower will mind...
Yes I know I know Leonardo DiCaprio was on Growing Pains...blah blah blah... you want to kick some knowledge kick it to me that his name was Luke Bower and the first episode he was on was entitled "Stop, Luke and Roll"....Bam...
I gave up on American Idol about 4 years ago...but admit I will watch first episode to see the suckfest that it is going to be....
Ronnie and Sammy Sweetheart broke up...not sure how I am going to get up in the morning...Who else is he going to lie around silently with on a bed all night with now?...
Celebrity Rehab
Lief Garrett might be able make it to the end of the steps of the Pasadena Recovery Center before he uses again...Dude, might want to try Sober House...look what it did for Andy Dick...
Jeremy London...you have to be strong for your son Lyric........whoooo've you already probably screwed up by naming him Lyric....
Hollywood keeps cranking out original movies...The Roomate looks nothing like Single White Female.....
Is it me or do movies totally suck now....the last good movie I saw was "Taken". Wasn't that like 2007 or something...Tried to watch Inception....after 20 minutes I was like ....this is the retarded kid from Gilbert Grape isn't it.....(best acting job of all time by the way, robbed at Oscars)
Speaking of movies about speal needs peeps, not to get all Tropic Thunder, but the worst movie of all time on the subject is without a doubt: The Other Sister, basically Juliette Lewis and Giovanni Ribisi want to get married or something...ok....problem is they... are.... retarded...or are they?....they don't look retarded...but they...talk slow....and can't do math.....oh forget it, they can't be together...But Ma I muv him....awful...
I'd apologize for using the word retarded but I don't think my 1 follower will mind...
Yes I know I know Leonardo DiCaprio was on Growing Pains...blah blah blah... you want to kick some knowledge kick it to me that his name was Luke Bower and the first episode he was on was entitled "Stop, Luke and Roll"....Bam...
I gave up on American Idol about 4 years ago...but admit I will watch first episode to see the suckfest that it is going to be....
Ronnie and Sammy Sweetheart broke up...not sure how I am going to get up in the morning...Who else is he going to lie around silently with on a bed all night with now?...
Celebrity Rehab
Lief Garrett might be able make it to the end of the steps of the Pasadena Recovery Center before he uses again...Dude, might want to try Sober House...look what it did for Andy Dick...
Jeremy London...you have to be strong for your son Lyric........whoooo've you already probably screwed up by naming him Lyric....
Friday, January 7, 2011
Harry... your hands are freeezing....
Jersey Shore Premire
Ronnie charging at Deena Nicole must have done wonders for his Aggravated Assault court case last night....
Sorry but did Snookie really give a rundown on who is in the house to "D" on the drive down..."oh wait till you meet Paulie and see his hair"..... shut the F' up....
Just watched an episode of "I used to be Fat" on MTV...it should be called "I used to be Fat but now I am just less Fatter"
Seriously though, it is great to see chicks who I would have scoffed at in college transform themselves into someone I probably would have had a drunken one night stand with then ignored afterwards..
Asked a co-worker at work today if she watched the Jersey Shore last night.....she responded no but that she liked "Guilianna and Bill"...I think I threw up in my mouth a little....Bill wants to live in the city..I want to live in the suburbs...lets cry and discuss it for 7 episodes....
Already sick of the homeless radio vioce guy's face...next
And am even sicker how people seem to find it sooo amazing...omg some homeless guy has a vioce better than Rick Dees...how on earth is he homeless..nevermind the awful teeth...scroungy hair...drug problem and iffy HIV status...
Oh not sure I've mentioned this yet but Modern Family is the best show on TV...f'ing genious...Thank you Brendan F. for turning me on to it....
I say that because I turned some guy at work onto it...now he acts like he is the one who told me about it...so f'ing annoying.....
Oh since I am mentioning my boy's names...Doug B. I forwarded Coach Coughlin your e-mail about him being too old..he told me to tell to to kiss his ass.....
Ronnie charging at Deena Nicole must have done wonders for his Aggravated Assault court case last night....
Sorry but did Snookie really give a rundown on who is in the house to "D" on the drive down..."oh wait till you meet Paulie and see his hair"..... shut the F' up....
Just watched an episode of "I used to be Fat" on MTV...it should be called "I used to be Fat but now I am just less Fatter"
Seriously though, it is great to see chicks who I would have scoffed at in college transform themselves into someone I probably would have had a drunken one night stand with then ignored afterwards..
Asked a co-worker at work today if she watched the Jersey Shore last night.....she responded no but that she liked "Guilianna and Bill"...I think I threw up in my mouth a little....Bill wants to live in the city..I want to live in the suburbs...lets cry and discuss it for 7 episodes....
Already sick of the homeless radio vioce guy's face...next
And am even sicker how people seem to find it sooo amazing...omg some homeless guy has a vioce better than Rick Dees...how on earth is he homeless..nevermind the awful teeth...scroungy hair...drug problem and iffy HIV status...
Oh not sure I've mentioned this yet but Modern Family is the best show on TV...f'ing genious...Thank you Brendan F. for turning me on to it....
I say that because I turned some guy at work onto it...now he acts like he is the one who told me about it...so f'ing annoying.....
Oh since I am mentioning my boy's names...Doug B. I forwarded Coach Coughlin your e-mail about him being too old..he told me to tell to to kiss his ass.....
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Which Doobie you be?
Just came back from a big meeting at the Sierra Towers with myself, Chad Rogers, his dog Starla and Ron Richards....we basically sat around and bitched about Josh Flagg.
Saw the preview for the upcoming season for Million Dollar Listing and actually got giddy.....
So Camille and Kelsey Grammer are getting a divorce, she turned down 30 million, wants 50, I guess she is going after all that "Back to You" money...
Speaking of the Housewives/ Beverly Hills, remind me never to invite Russell to one of my "white parties"...
Probably going to miss the Hoarders finale, the one where the guy hoards... rats? WTF? Freaks me out manaaan.
Kevin Bacon- I guess you did lose all your money to Bernie Madoff, because I think I just saw you dressed up as an old man doing a web tv commercial? Shouldn't that only be shown in Japan? What's next Celebrity Ghost Stories?
Jerseyliscious...
I am not sure what the Glam Factory actually does...but I want my birthday party there too...
omg...Gigi's pictures were soooo amazing...I like the one with the bag over her head the best...
The fact I was wondering if Frankie would propose to Gigi at the birthday party makes me realize how wacked I may be...
Yeah Olivia I hate Dorie too...but I do have to admit...that eye was waaaay too smokey...
Saw the preview for the upcoming season for Million Dollar Listing and actually got giddy.....
So Camille and Kelsey Grammer are getting a divorce, she turned down 30 million, wants 50, I guess she is going after all that "Back to You" money...
Speaking of the Housewives/ Beverly Hills, remind me never to invite Russell to one of my "white parties"...
Probably going to miss the Hoarders finale, the one where the guy hoards... rats? WTF? Freaks me out manaaan.
Kevin Bacon- I guess you did lose all your money to Bernie Madoff, because I think I just saw you dressed up as an old man doing a web tv commercial? Shouldn't that only be shown in Japan? What's next Celebrity Ghost Stories?
Jerseyliscious...
I am not sure what the Glam Factory actually does...but I want my birthday party there too...
omg...Gigi's pictures were soooo amazing...I like the one with the bag over her head the best...
The fact I was wondering if Frankie would propose to Gigi at the birthday party makes me realize how wacked I may be...
Yeah Olivia I hate Dorie too...but I do have to admit...that eye was waaaay too smokey...
Sunday, January 2, 2011
What's all this one in a million talk.......
I am sorry but Dick Clarke's New Years Eve show rang in the New Year with the Back Street Boys and NKTOB aka New Kids on the Block? Really..... Why not book the the Bay City Rollers while you are at it.
They asked some singer Kesha her New Year's Resolution and she says "not to be a doughebag"....this while wearing blinking 2011 glasses.....too late...already broken....
Yeah Dick we know Ryan is spoiled... he's inside, you were outside when you did it , he's got alot to learn...we get it..blah blah blah....
I guess MTV is pinning everything they have on the Jersey Shore....
A. The new girl looks like even more of a pig than the others... of course she is a crazy bitch with a heart of gold....
B. Speaking of the new girl...how many "best friends in the whole world" can Snookie have....and do they all have to have bad skin...Proactive ladies...if good enough for Jessica Simpson it should be good enough for you pigs...
C. FREE RONNIE....You mean you can't walk up to someone on the streets...knock them unconscious in a pool of their own blood because they told you to "go home"....
Speaking of Proactive...those commercials are distrurbing...and obviusoly fake...the one dude is covered in zits..takes some of that stuff.....now he looks like Eric Estrada....
Not to harp on Dog the Bounty Hunter but does bounty hunting pay that much were you can have a fleet of Chevy Surburbans at your disposal....
They now carry mace maching guns and wear garb with the word AGENT on the back....Ha...I am no legal scholar but isn't there some law that says they can't go into people's houses and kick down all their doors ?
Wonder how that addition is coming along.....
They asked some singer Kesha her New Year's Resolution and she says "not to be a doughebag"....this while wearing blinking 2011 glasses.....too late...already broken....
Yeah Dick we know Ryan is spoiled... he's inside, you were outside when you did it , he's got alot to learn...we get it..blah blah blah....
I guess MTV is pinning everything they have on the Jersey Shore....
A. The new girl looks like even more of a pig than the others... of course she is a crazy bitch with a heart of gold....
B. Speaking of the new girl...how many "best friends in the whole world" can Snookie have....and do they all have to have bad skin...Proactive ladies...if good enough for Jessica Simpson it should be good enough for you pigs...
C. FREE RONNIE....You mean you can't walk up to someone on the streets...knock them unconscious in a pool of their own blood because they told you to "go home"....
Speaking of Proactive...those commercials are distrurbing...and obviusoly fake...the one dude is covered in zits..takes some of that stuff.....now he looks like Eric Estrada....
Not to harp on Dog the Bounty Hunter but does bounty hunting pay that much were you can have a fleet of Chevy Surburbans at your disposal....
They now carry mace maching guns and wear garb with the word AGENT on the back....Ha...I am no legal scholar but isn't there some law that says they can't go into people's houses and kick down all their doors ?
Wonder how that addition is coming along.....
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