We ride limos too....

Was thinking of the best stripper songs and came up with this list

1. Change by the Deftones
2. Mother by Danzig
3. Any song by Motley Crue or Godsmack

Real Housewives BH Reunion...Part 1

Did anyone else catch this...basically Andy Cohen would read a card from "listeners" that said things like..."Camille...Jill from Lincoln Nebraska wants to know why you are a stupid slut"...then he would follow it up with ...."how does that make you feel"...? or Taylor.."Susan from Park City Utah says your collegean lips look ridiculous"..."can you respond that"...Genious.....

I still haven't gotten an answer Ronnie..and I think I deserve one....are you officially friends with JWoww or NOT?

Din dada din dodo...

Ok it's snowing, but I look outside last night and my whole street had their car winshied wipers sticking straight up...Really? must have missed that group meeting where they all decided would all be anal freaks...then I woke up to 10 inches of snow and noticed my wipers were blocks of ice...

Just watched a Dog the Bounty Hunter...they go to an airport to arrest a fugitive but the cops get him first...and Dog is acting like the guy missed out becuase he didn't get a chance to hear one of his dumb speeches...Never really been arrested but am sure I wouldn't need a speech on how f'd up I am by some guy with his shirt open....

Speaking of that show I thought Hawaii was supposed to be a paradise....they make it look like it is just one big crappy apartment complex filled with crack whores and kids with no shoes on running around....

It was Dogs 200th episode and they had some pre-show celebrating it...Beth actually says.."when I look back I can't believe the ridiculous outfits I USED to wear"...When she says looking back, does she mean 5 minutes ago?

Where exactly was Alice's room in the Brady Bunch, it looked like it was sandwiched in beween the stove and the sink? Maybe under the stairs?

Didn't watch American Idol last night...they were in Milwaukee?? Really? When I think of Milwaukee I think of Laverne & Shirley, Camine Ragusso and the Shotz Brewery...in that order...wholy shit now that I think of it Milwaukee must be awesume...

Papa Large...Big Shot on the East Coast....

Fatal error syndrom? What the F was I drinking that night...ok yeah, jello shots, now I remember....

I am drawing the line at Richard Lewis look-alike Bethany Frankel's new show...Let me guess.... her life is  soooo overwhelming with a new baby...forget the fact she has assistants, nannies and no real job. I see her husband, who of course just hates the limelight, had no problem signing up for season 3 of that suckfest.

Tabitha from that Salon make-over show has hair like Dennis the Menace...but I have no problem watching back to back to back episodes...Oh shit.... did 4 hours just pass?

I've never eaten at a Papa Johns...that owner seems way too happy in those dumb commercials...but there is no way those snot pies are any good....

Housewives of Atlanta

Those concerts must be really exhausting for Kim, with her one song and all....

Maybw Ne Ne can play LB for the Giants?

Whoop there it is....

Was thinking tonight that life decsions sometimes can be swayed the Fatal error syndrom...Meaning one fatal error can ruin everything......then I realized "wasn't there a movie called Fatal Error starring Antonio Sabato Jr?

Name's not Boy.....it's Roy...

Turned into the last 20 minutes of American Idol last night...still can't get over Steven Tyler on it, if Joe Perry was dead he'd be rolling over in his grave...

But then I thought...Rockin Rollercoster...Wii Rockband....Armageadun soundtrack...maybe not as big of a sell-out as I thought... and yes I know I spelled Armageadin wrong..too lazy to look up...

Red headed 16 year old who was picked on by bullies and has lisp who nailed it....tears rolling down my face...Check....Pudgy 15 year old with yellow teeth who sings like an "angel"...more tears...check 2....I think there is something in my eye....last semi-hot chick with special needs kid...ok I am all cried out here sister....no more tears.....kid looks fine to me...(Did I mention this was all in 20 minutres?)

Housewives of Beverly Hills Finale was one long depressing fight...my man Martin was definately looking for that eject button in that limo

So Kelsey Grammer cross-dresses...funny I always thought a guy with a name like "Kelsey" would be all-man.

The Situation made 5 million last year but he has to work in that stupid t-shirt store...C'mon...

Friend I really respected today asked me "who is Andy Coen?"...dude..brush up on your Bravo...

We don't have a cow...we have a bull....

Robert Deniro... I saw your Golden Globes speech and I actually saw Stanley & Iris and Jackknife and....they both sucked.....royally... Mad Dog and Glory was no picnic either...but your still the man...

Haven't seen any of those nominated movies......but something tells me Inglorious Bastards is better than all of them...

Talking about the teleprompter cutting you off is sooo 1999.....

Storage Wars

When I get older I hope I have hair like Barry Weiss...and dress like him....could probably do without the bidding on lockers full of others people's crap thing though

It appears only the shows "stars" bid on the lockers...what exactly are the other 15-20 people/riff-raff hanging out there for?

Missed the end of the Celebrity Rehab finale...Is Gummy Bear Jason Davis going to Sober Living or has he decide he is going to die....?

Jermey London's wife looks like she may have been hot once but fell victim to an awful frying pan in the face accident...

It's winter time so that means one thing at the shore..Polar Bear Plunges...yayy..ahh but it is for a good cause...skip jumping in the f'ing ocean and write a check people....

Ok maybe in a bad mood today but when did Facebook become one big ass kissing session? Just asking becuase it is getting nauseating...If I read one more post abut how beautiful someone kids are or how special a person someone is I may puke..

Watched "The X life" last night...then went out to try some tricks on my Schwinn Stingray..

Kelsey Grammer acting like he can hold down his vomit when he sees Camille may be his best acting job ever...

Beyond Scared Straight is beyond funny....

Give me the madman....

Housewives of Atlanta

Never heard of a Sip and See...but I want to have one too when our kitchen is done....now if I can only get Dwight there....

Easy Kim, don't act like you've never been on a skanky tour bus before....

Turned into Dog Bounty Hunter last night and he was wearing reading glasses...he looked so distinguished...

Housewives of Beverly Hills

Let me get this straight...if you are rich  you walk around holding a small dog....it is totally acceptable.. but..if you are not rich...doing so means you are white trash....Check...because let's face it no one really wants to see a f'ing dog in their face when you are hanging at a party...

Speaking of white trash...go hang at a Target in the Patio Furniture section...you will be totally amazed how many white trash peeps buy expensive patio shit....Do only I notice that?....Every thime I am there....which is maybe twice a year so maybe I have no idea what I am talking about.

Ok Kyle, easy with "my husbands business affairs...Camille and Kelesey won't do business again with Mauricio...blah blah blah"...he's an f'ing real estate agent, he sells houses....he's not a heart surgean"...

On the flip side...Maloof's husband is a doctor...but she acts like he's a f'ing doofus....And by the way who is this demon child kid of theirs that keeps breaking his nose?

Does a prerequisite as a boss for doing Underscover Boss mean you have you have to whine like a bitch on the jobsite?

This is Choco...from the Hartz Mountains of Germany...

Housewives of Beverly Hills

Did Kyle's daughter graduate college or cure cancer? Thanks Mom for the ugly ring....

Waaaa...Taylor went gold digging, now her husand is a dud...waaaa

Kelsey Grammer is worth 120 million?...what...did he have the back end of "Down Periscope"?

Lisa is commissioning a new Pinot Noir for her restarturant Pina Blanca so she is traveling to the winery estate to seal the deal...she is so down to earth...

Who exactly is Cedric? and does the money he make from being a male prostitute cover his bills?

Jersey Shore

Not sure I get this whole "cuddle" with me thing...in my day if a girl ever asked me to "cuddle" with her I would make sure I brought a condom...ok I am lying...probably would not have used a condom...

OMG Jwow forgot her and Tom's Anniversary? wasn't aware they are married...I'm f'ing married and barely remember my anniversary...what anniversary are they talking about...the first time he felt her fake tits?

If you need me I'll be at Karma....

-those are friend prices...

Suprise suprise, Ted Williams...the radio homeless guy... has 9 kids whom he never paid child support for, was a pimp, thief, now in rehab but still soooo inspiring to millions of losers...his head isn't frozen like the real Ted Williams but it does look like it has been smacked around with the a wrench a bit like his...

Hollywood keeps cranking out original movies...The Roomate looks nothing like Single White Female.....

Is it me or do movies totally suck now....the last good movie I saw was "Taken". Wasn't that like 2007 or something...Tried to watch Inception....after 20 minutes I was like ....this is the retarded kid from Gilbert Grape isn't it.....(best acting job of all time by the way, robbed at Oscars)

Speaking of movies about speal needs peeps, not to get all Tropic Thunder, but the worst movie of all time on the subject is without a doubt: The Other Sister, basically Juliette Lewis and Giovanni Ribisi want to get married or something...ok....problem is they... are.... retarded...or are they?....they don't look retarded...but they...talk slow....and can't do math.....oh forget it, they can't be together...But Ma I muv him....awful...

I'd apologize for using the word retarded but I don't think my 1 follower will mind...

Yes I know I know Leonardo DiCaprio was on Growing Pains...blah blah blah... you want to kick some knowledge kick it to me that his name was Luke Bower and the first episode he was on was entitled "Stop, Luke and Roll"....Bam...

I gave up on American Idol about 4 years ago...but admit I will watch first episode to see the suckfest that it is going to be....

Ronnie and Sammy Sweetheart broke up...not sure how I am going to get up in the morning...Who else is he going to lie around silently with on a bed all night with now?...

Celebrity Rehab

Lief Garrett might be able make it to the end of the steps of the Pasadena Recovery Center before he uses again...Dude, might want to try Sober House...look what it did for Andy Dick...

Jeremy London...you have to be strong for your son Lyric........whoooo've you already probably screwed up by naming him Lyric....

Harry... your hands are freeezing....

Jersey Shore Premire

Ronnie charging at Deena Nicole must have done wonders for his Aggravated Assault court case last night....

Sorry but did Snookie really give a rundown on who is in the house to "D" on the drive down..."oh wait till you meet Paulie and see his hair"..... shut the F' up....

Just watched an episode of "I used to be Fat" on MTV...it should be called "I used to be Fat but now I am just less Fatter"

Seriously though, it is great to see chicks who I would have scoffed at in college transform themselves into someone I probably would have had a drunken one night stand with then ignored afterwards..

Asked a co-worker at work today if she watched the Jersey Shore last night.....she responded no but that she liked "Guilianna and Bill"...I think I threw up in my mouth a little....Bill wants to live in the city..I want to live in the suburbs...lets cry and discuss it for 7 episodes....

Already sick of the homeless radio vioce guy's face...next

And am even sicker how people seem to find it sooo amazing...omg some homeless guy has a vioce better than Rick Dees...how on earth is he homeless..nevermind the awful teeth...scroungy hair...drug problem and iffy HIV status...

Oh not sure I've mentioned this yet but Modern Family is the best show on TV...f'ing genious...Thank you Brendan F. for turning me on to it....

I say that because I turned some guy at work onto it...now he acts like he is the one who told me about it...so f'ing annoying.....

Oh since I am mentioning my boy's names...Doug B. I forwarded Coach Coughlin your e-mail about him being too old..he told me to tell to to kiss his ass.....

Which Doobie you be?

Just came back from a big meeting at the Sierra Towers with myself, Chad Rogers, his dog Starla and Ron Richards....we basically sat around and bitched about Josh Flagg.

Saw the preview for the upcoming season for Million Dollar Listing and actually got giddy.....

So Camille and Kelsey Grammer are getting a divorce, she turned down 30 million, wants 50, I guess she is going after all that "Back to You" money...

Speaking of the Housewives/ Beverly Hills, remind me never to invite Russell to one of my "white parties"...

Probably going to miss the Hoarders finale, the one where the guy hoards... rats? WTF? Freaks me out manaaan.

Kevin Bacon- I guess you did lose all your money to Bernie Madoff, because I think I just saw you dressed up as an old man doing a web tv commercial? Shouldn't that only be shown in Japan? What's next Celebrity Ghost Stories?

Jerseyliscious...

I am not sure what the Glam Factory actually does...but I want my birthday party there too...

omg...Gigi's pictures were soooo amazing...I like the one with the bag over her head the best...

The fact I was wondering if Frankie would propose to Gigi at the birthday party makes me realize how wacked I may be...

Yeah Olivia I hate Dorie too...but I do have to admit...that eye was waaaay too smokey...

What's all this one in a million talk.......

I am sorry but Dick Clarke's New Years Eve show rang in the New Year with the Back Street Boys and NKTOB aka New Kids on the Block? Really..... Why not book the the Bay City Rollers while you are at it.

They asked some singer Kesha her New Year's Resolution and she says "not to be a doughebag"....this while wearing blinking 2011 glasses.....too late...already broken....

Yeah Dick we know Ryan is spoiled... he's inside, you were outside when you did it , he's got alot to learn...we get it..blah blah blah....

I guess MTV is pinning everything they have on the Jersey Shore....

A. The new girl looks like even more of a pig than the others... of course she is a crazy bitch with a heart of gold....
B. Speaking of the new girl...how many "best friends in the whole world" can Snookie have....and do they all have to have bad skin...Proactive ladies...if good enough for Jessica Simpson it should be good enough for you pigs...
C. FREE RONNIE....You mean you can't walk up to someone on the streets...knock them unconscious in a pool of their own blood because they told you to "go home"....

Speaking of Proactive...those commercials are distrurbing...and obviusoly fake...the one dude is covered in zits..takes some of that stuff.....now he looks like Eric Estrada....

Not to harp on Dog the Bounty Hunter but does bounty hunting pay that much were you can have a fleet of Chevy Surburbans at your disposal....

They now carry mace maching guns and wear garb with the word AGENT on the back....Ha...I am no legal scholar but isn't there some law that says they can't go into people's houses and kick down all their doors ?

Wonder how that addition is coming along.....