Still drives that Mack Truck though....

Real Housewives of OC

If Vikki yells out "woo hoo" one more time I am going to kick my TV in...

The very special post pardum episode....with Cybil Sheppard starring as Peggy and Parker Stevenson as her husband. Mary Kate Olsen travels back in time to make as a guest appearance as baby Capri.....a young baby who is rushed to the hospital while on vacation in a terrifying paper cut incident...

Bethany Ever After is ice skating....what on earth will that show think of next? I know.....How about having her shut up for two seconds......

Why is it at the drive-thru at Burger King I always somehow hope and think from the voice that the girl taking my order is somehow hot...and when I get up to get my food..she is inevitably...not...

Speaking of Burger King....I am already ashamed that I ate that shit for lunch today...please don't try to use that hot voice to get me to order some awful apple pie lard fest on top of it....

Lastly, I don't watch Dancing with the Stars...but why are they saying this is Ralph Macchio's comeback? Didn't any of them see Beer League? Entourage? He's been back baby!

Watch the leather man.....

Typing this listening to the new Strokes CD, f'ing genious....

Funny... first I had records...then tapes, must have owned 3000 of those stupid tapes...speaking of tapes... what time we all wasted fast forwarding those things...then Cds...must have spend 17 grand on fucking CDs.... now I download and burn onto CDs...and people still call me a dinosaur...fuck them all....ha

My first record was Billy Squire "Don't Say No" which was such a corny title..Once Squire made that video for "Rock Me Tonight" in a pink guinny tee and tights rolling around on that bed it was all over.......

Speaking of genious, finally saw The Fighter, A- ...Christian Bale, unbelivable performance.....

Speaking of great charater actors, Phillip Baker Hall on Modern Family....amazing as Mr. Kleezak....

But..of course I can not mention character actors without the greatest character actor of all time...the late great JT Walsh...Google him.....please... underrated ...

I hope when Jersey Shore goes to Italy Sammy and Ron argue the whole fucking time.....

Hell... is you are on line at KMART buying a $3.99 tube of calk and you are waiting for 10 minutes becase one line is open..because..it's fucking KMART....and a new line opens up and they make that dumb statement "I'll take the next asshole in line" and of course all the white trash losers at the end of the line run over...so you are stuck and when you get up there some gross chick with a goatee asks you if you want to donate to the "March of Dimes"...but first has to ask you for your zip code....listen I came here to buy a tube of calk not solve the world's problems..and my zip code is better than yours..so figure it out..and ..have a bad day and thank you very little...fuck you...

And I need calk why?

Somebody at work asked me if I was in a bad mood Thursday and I said "yes I am" and kept walking....ha

What's all this one in a million talk?

Real World Las Vegas-

Adam doesn't like to talk about his time in Juuvie, he only likes to brag about it.....

Uh..Adam...there is a big black guy in the house and his name is Leroy...might want to cool it on the bottle smashing thing....

Hate how they all whine about their childhoods...my parents sold drugs..waaa...I was adopted and abused....waaaa....my parents made me rent skiis for a whole season before buying...ok that I can relate to...

Caught a few moments of the latest Survivor..

A. I will never utter the words "Boston Rob"
B. Does the a-hole who wants everyone to pull their weight and says they do all the work in the stupid camp ever fiucking win?
C. Probst definately made a deal with the devil....

When I heard on the radio that Liz Taylor died...my first thought was...Larry Fortensky definately poisoned her....

I know they say she was an icon...I just know her for her "arc" on General Hospital where she tried to like...use a machine to freeze the world or something? Am I the only one who remembers that?

BTW....No... I don't want to see Black Swan...I saw Billy Elliott and that should cover it.....

Son there is no draft...

Unless you are hearding cattle there should be no reason to live in NJ and drive one of those 8 cyl. Ford 150 humongous pick up trucks...

Caught a glimpse of Celebrity Apprentice..Donald Trump now looks like Bob Barker's younger brother...how exactly does one get their skin that tangerine color...he looks like a tall white haired umpa loompa...Did I mention his face is orange....

Speaking of Bob Barker...how great is it that he banged all those Showcase showdown girls.....Heard he would have them all over for an orgy but then wind up making fun of the red haired one and telling her to take a hike....and on the way out he would tell the blondes to go get themselves spayed or nuetered...

Up next on an all new Real Housewives of Miami Marisol's plastic face freezes off in the snow in Aspen...and her fianc'e realizes she is 49 and he will never have kids....then he remembers what her mother looks like and he throws himself off a cliff...

Was in Wal Mart the other morning and the whole store staff was having a meeting in a circle and then they started clapping, I yelled out "would you shut up I am trying to shop here"

Jersey Shore

OMG....the moment we've all been waiting for in the finale...Roger tells Jwow that he....I'm getting emotional here sorry...only.....wants...to bang...her..no...other chicks.....I literally have tears in my eyes....

Sooo Ronnie's mom drunk dials him?...and this is the first time we are hearing about her on the show why? Spinoff? please?

By the way, don't even try blaming Arvin for any of this...

You mean there was one?

Please pick 1 NCAA braket pool and play it and live and die with it...these people who have to do the one "real one" and the one "wacky one" where they have Belmont winning it all defeats the whole purpose...sorry had to get that off my chest...

There is no way to look cool in a "smart car", they are in one word..stupid....Way to tell the whole world you have no wife and kids....or girlfriend...or friends..

Is it normal to be driving on 195 and thinking "a sniper can take me out very easily from the woods here"....not sure that is....oh well....se la vie (no way that is how you spell it)

Real Housewives of Miami

Ok, I am no hypocrite, or so I think, but not sure I need to see the pig they chose for their pig roast oinking around a pen, then draped over some guys shoulder deader than a door nail then shoved in the back of a Cadillac....Kind of distrurbed me but the ham sandwich I had the next day kind of squelched all that....

It appears Scottie Pippin spends his days lounging on a leather couch while his wife spends all his money...

Real Housewives of the OC...

I love how they are keeping the identity of Tamras latin boyfriend a secret...from the back of his head it appears to be Jose Canseco....

Did Vikki's daughter eat Don?

Tamra had to downsize into a...omg...grab the barf bag again...condo.....and it's only 3200 square feet....her life must be in shambles.....

Went to a Little League coaches meeting tonight...and there were 3 umpires there who gave a speech about how to act and the rules etc....so I grabbed my phone and texted to my buddy across the room .."rumor is these umps are giving free blowjobs in the parking lot after this"...

Sooo..... some wacky chick from high school wanted to "friend" me on facebook...took about 3-4 days to figure out who she was and even then was like I think I hated her guts and tried to block her out of my memory...anyway I clicked yes or confirm or whatever the fuck you click...then of course came the posts....all.......bible qoutes..combined with.....my daddy is sick with cancer pray for him...blah blah blah...John 3:14-6.9-(a) 1 says something too boring to read to interpret...blah blah blah....Daddy had a good day today, he had an ice chip...listen bitch I got my own problems (not really, I mean I did have to change the water in my hot tub last week and didn't feel like it, I guess that is a problem right?)...so I went in and clicked "defriend" or whatever...now the chick is reqesting to be my friend every day for the last week...and I keep pressing ignore.......and it is now a question of who can outlast the other......the moral of the story is....don't ever push your religion on me or bore me for that matter unless you are really really really hot.....I mean really really really really hot....This chick was not hot....

Happy St. Patrick's day all.......

Uncle Hulka?

The follwing statements are after 4-5 Bacardi drinks so bear with me....(okay 5-6)

Sooooo...

Am coaching a Little League team, told the kids after every game, no matter what happens after games, we are getting ice cream...so make sure you bring two bucks each...

Also told them they are on my team for one reason and one reason only, the have hot moms....and their Dads that don't piss me off.....now go out there and get a hit...

Sometimes I feel like Loudin Swain and I am on a Lunatic Fringe.....

Speaking of Vision Quest where is the hell is Michael Shoefling....what a fucking d-r-e-a-m-b-o-a-t...way hotter than Molly Ringwald...

Why do I find a sudden urge to use the word "whoopie" when describing sex in a sentence...

Speaking of sex, internet porn seems to be never ending...like the milky way...was on one site and they had a section called "Recommended for you", thought to myself how the f' do they know I like those fake casting couch porn videos..then I thought to myself "holy shit, I am a sick fucker"....

I hate when people desribe porn or a strip club then try to say something like "or so I've heard" shut the f up, and man up and get real...then go just far enough to tell somewhat of the truth...(Sorry....Charlie Sheen moment)

Jersey Shore

Sammy please take those glasses off you look retarded

So a basic Saturday lunch in Staten Island at Vinnies house includes 30 family members?

Deena "d" or whatever her name is has added as much to the Jersey Shore and that little redheaded shithead Sam did to Season 7 of Different Strokes...Am so suprised that bowl headed carrot top's music career never skyrocketed..he played a mean geeetar...

You just don't know Damone...

Anyone else go to Dollar General stores? I go  to one near Trenton, where I work, ...sooo..I went  on Tuesday...bought a jar of valsoline and when I got home I noticed a finger swipe was taken out of it......when I was there I overheard the phrase "them diapers be only $6 .50"....thought to myself at one point "Is the 75 cents off of Sensedyne worth getting inadvertintly shot in a botched hold-up?"......got my dogs rawhide treats which he just f'ing hates...for some reason bought a hammer there for $2.79, took a swing at a nail on my fence yesterday and the hammer bent in half.....and finally the tin foil I got there doesn't wrap shit...but...I..still love the place...why? ...."Cause that dog food be $5.50" "And it be Purina"

Hate/pity... the old 100 year old lady there in the house dress with the mustache, huge ankles and missing teeth digging in her purse to dig out the $7.83 for pantyhose, DG brand mustard, sardines and light bulbs she just shuffled up to the counter with....I am seconds from yelling "would you hurry up already, pay and and get in your Plymouth Duster and go back to your shanty"...Then she turns and says "thanks for your patience" and I feel like like the biggest turd in the world.....

There is always some nerdy manager in Andy Sipowitz gear (short sleeve shirt, tie) "managing" what appears to be a bunch of gangbangers and meth-heads...Do you think he knows some day he will be beaten and left unconscious by his subordinates in the back alley".....

Was watching Million Dollar Listing, Malibu must be great but I’ve seen bigger stretches of sand in Perth Amboy…

If you are next to me on a plane please don’t take off your shoes…I don't want to smell or see those gross feet….or as I call them..... “tootsies”

A scene from "Basketball Wives"  

“I was married to Sedale Threat” “Oh yeah well I was married to World B. Free”... Hunny I was married to Geurge Muresan….ggiiirll....we rich…oh here comes Olden Polyniece's wife, I hate that bitch....the end….

Escuse me Dougie Fresh...

Is it me or Charlie Sheen starting to actually make some sense?

Watched a Season whatever Real Housewives of OC marathon and came to the conclusion that that dude Simon is a total prick....I can't believe I got his name tatooed on my finger too....

Thinking about changing my name and calling myself "Slade"....

Also caught a "Bethany Everafter" the one where she...get this...hold your nose...grab a vomit bag...she goes..to...Pennsylvania....eeewwwwww...how did she ever garner the courage to do it.....

I gotta get myself in the Bravo clubhouse...

Tearjerker Alert!!!! Secret Millionare on ABC, why don't you just rub an onion in my eye while playing the ending of Hoosiers on a continous loop...

Was sitting in my hottub and sipping a beer on Friday night and thought to myself "Duh, winning"....then I thought to myself...that is soooo three days ago...