Housewives of NYC
You are not pregnant Ramona....your just stupid.....
Is that Simon or Rip Taylor?....
Jimmy Fallon's "Thank you notes" book is fucking hysterical....
Housewives of NJ
Who the hell does Kim G think she is? Speaking of....is it my imagination or is she the hottest 80 year old you've ever seen...
How exactly does someone who is declaring bankruptcy have personal stylists to do their hair and make-up for a X-mas party? I better shut up though or Joe Guidice might do a roundhouse kick to my head...
Something tells me in a few years when Joe Gorga is declaring bankruptcy himself he's going to wish he had that 50 grand back he spent on that party....
Movie Review Alert- Take Me Home Tonight starring Sir Topher Grace....Very Entertaining
Why are there no hot Hoarders?
Celebrity Rehab
Adler...just move in dude....
Did Amy Fisher catch a Dr. K Dwight Gooden fast ball to her lip?
Sean Young was once the hottest chick in Hollywood...now she looks like an extra from the Lord of the Rings....
Thinking of a word to describe Michael Lohan...I know...Turd...
I'm pretty sure the chick that works there , Shelly, is actress Judy Greer....
Monday, July 25, 2011
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Hold it now...hit it.....
Just watched Back to Back episodes of COPS, as good as it has ever been. Love when the drunken idiots resist arrest, fight da police, then start whinning how sorry they are at the end....of course right after they get stun gunned....bitches...
True Life....I'm ex-Amish...wasn't aware Amish wore Colts sweatshirts and smoked like chimneys....
I don't watch that Gene Simmons show debacle, only see the commercials but hasn't he's been bragging about nailing all these women every time I turn around..... now his relationship to the chick from Hot Dog the Movie is not going well......boo hoo...maybe now she can try to hook up with Squirell......
True Life...I'm addicted to Porn...of course you are dude, your a guy......Although when I hear someone say the word "masterbade" it creeps me out....it's called jerking off a-hole....
Ok....so it appears 6 out of every 10 movies now deals with the premis that two friends, one boy and one girl agree to have sex but....god no they can't have feelings about it..because they are both so fucking good looking they can't be a couple..The newest is called Friends with Benefits...starring Justin Timberlake and Natalie Portman....or is it Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis?
True Life....I'm ex-Amish...wasn't aware Amish wore Colts sweatshirts and smoked like chimneys....
I don't watch that Gene Simmons show debacle, only see the commercials but hasn't he's been bragging about nailing all these women every time I turn around..... now his relationship to the chick from Hot Dog the Movie is not going well......boo hoo...maybe now she can try to hook up with Squirell......
True Life...I'm addicted to Porn...of course you are dude, your a guy......Although when I hear someone say the word "masterbade" it creeps me out....it's called jerking off a-hole....
Ok....so it appears 6 out of every 10 movies now deals with the premis that two friends, one boy and one girl agree to have sex but....god no they can't have feelings about it..because they are both so fucking good looking they can't be a couple..The newest is called Friends with Benefits...starring Justin Timberlake and Natalie Portman....or is it Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis?
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Just be glad I had fast reflexes....
Watched Hot Tub Time Machine with my kids the other day, please don't call DYFUS.....hey I wanted to introduce my kids to John Cusak, next up...Grifters...
How dare you serve Rocco Dispirito meatballs....
Rocco I get the show...the cocky jackass chef who says "they got this" always loses....
Who is this Padma chick? She is at a stupid reality show dinner party...chick is acting like she is Princess Diana...
Jeff Lewis is still Flipping Out! and he still has his assistant with him...or as I like to call her...the retarded Elaine Benes...
At least Lewis and his crew are done with that glorified Chi Chi's they spent last season on....
Whale Wars: Can one prop fouler work? Let me guess this straight, we bombed Japan, they surrendered, we rebuilt their country....the least they can fucking do is lay off a few whales for us....wtf? Research my fucking ass.....throw them some fucking Levis and tell them to go home...
If the whales could talk they would breach and yell out at the whale wars guys..."fucking try harder you fucking hippies".....
Michael Irvin posed for a gay magazine....usually I would think that is courageous for a straight guy to do that...but since he is a Dallas Cowboy I will call him what he is...a Fruit!
How dare you serve Rocco Dispirito meatballs....
Rocco I get the show...the cocky jackass chef who says "they got this" always loses....
Who is this Padma chick? She is at a stupid reality show dinner party...chick is acting like she is Princess Diana...
Jeff Lewis is still Flipping Out! and he still has his assistant with him...or as I like to call her...the retarded Elaine Benes...
At least Lewis and his crew are done with that glorified Chi Chi's they spent last season on....
Whale Wars: Can one prop fouler work? Let me guess this straight, we bombed Japan, they surrendered, we rebuilt their country....the least they can fucking do is lay off a few whales for us....wtf? Research my fucking ass.....throw them some fucking Levis and tell them to go home...
If the whales could talk they would breach and yell out at the whale wars guys..."fucking try harder you fucking hippies".....
Michael Irvin posed for a gay magazine....usually I would think that is courageous for a straight guy to do that...but since he is a Dallas Cowboy I will call him what he is...a Fruit!
Friday, July 1, 2011
Didn't know they grew 'em so small on the farm
Mob Wives-
Lee cheated on Drita, can't believe a bankrobber would do that?
Great idea of having a knock down drag out fight on a roof top bar....
Housewives-
I totally understand Jill, Simon has been cyber-bullying me too....
So Theresa shows us Joe's cock ring....and you say they have no class...shame on you...
One of the best movie qoutes ever...."What I just saw out there made me sick"...Roy Turner Bad News Bears....
My Mork & Mindy musical is coming along...I am going to call it "Shazbutt"...
Everytime I watch Extreme Home Makeover...whenever Ty Pennington says "Welcome Home blah blah blah family...welcome home"... I...(in between sobs) ....say.....out loud..."and good luck paying those heating and electric bills"....
Little something I like to call...Pooping at work
A. Love the blatantly unecessary flush or cough when someone comes in...ok...realize you are in there, I am not going to come in and sit in your lap.... don't worry..ok I do it too....
B. Are the machine gun farts necessary before taking a crap dude
C. Are you taking some toilet paper or rolling out a baseball tarp...easy bro...
Lee cheated on Drita, can't believe a bankrobber would do that?
Great idea of having a knock down drag out fight on a roof top bar....
Housewives-
I totally understand Jill, Simon has been cyber-bullying me too....
So Theresa shows us Joe's cock ring....and you say they have no class...shame on you...
One of the best movie qoutes ever...."What I just saw out there made me sick"...Roy Turner Bad News Bears....
My Mork & Mindy musical is coming along...I am going to call it "Shazbutt"...
Everytime I watch Extreme Home Makeover...whenever Ty Pennington says "Welcome Home blah blah blah family...welcome home"... I...(in between sobs) ....say.....out loud..."and good luck paying those heating and electric bills"....
Little something I like to call...Pooping at work
A. Love the blatantly unecessary flush or cough when someone comes in...ok...realize you are in there, I am not going to come in and sit in your lap.... don't worry..ok I do it too....
B. Are the machine gun farts necessary before taking a crap dude
C. Are you taking some toilet paper or rolling out a baseball tarp...easy bro...
D. Does your belt buckle have to be playing a tune on the floor throughout this ordeal?...it's bad enough you came in when I did and gross enough I can hear you....
Happy Fourth of July....
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Phi Slamma Jamma
Tonight on a very special Real Housewives of OC Outakes Special Tamra's idiot son goes under the knife...to take out something in his chest as a result from taking steriods...what an idiot..I would expect someone with Tamra for a mom to be more grounded...for some reason I watched the whole fucking thing.....it was almost like I was on the operating table with him...except I didn't really care if he made it.....
Also tonight on very special House Hunters some loser who is wearing a JC Penny polo shirt doesn't want to buy a house for whopping 180 grand because the second bathroom doesn't have two sinks...escuse me sir....one sink has done me and my family just fine in our hovel......
I'd like to shove a bucket of flan in Rocco DiSpirto's face.....Hasn't this guy already had 5-6 shows...all losers....and getting Liza Minelli will not get me to watch...ok maybe just the first show...hellllloooo Friscooooo....
Storage Wars: Would Dave Hester and Darryl Sheets just do it already...Dave could yell yuuup while Darryl can ask him of that was enough wow favor for him after they are done making love....
Kid Movie alert: Disney's Oceans good kid nature movie...
People please lose the leather cell phone holders that clips to your belt...just tatoo "dork" on your forehead instead...
Real Housewives of NJ
Gia is such an amazing gymnast...7th place...wow....congrats....classy to blame your showing on your Uncle who you are weirdly too much into not being there....
Caroline while you are at NJ101.5 please run over Jim Gearhert with your SUV.....
Does Joe Gorga have a mint in his basement that prints money...he does right....
Saddle Ranch- No matter what their differances are...they can always rally around the mechanical bull.....brings a tear to my eye...by the way anyone know where I can get a Saddle ranch Headband???
Yes....Audrina's career is taking off....she was just asked to be on Celebrity Apprentice...academy awards here we come....
Also tonight on very special House Hunters some loser who is wearing a JC Penny polo shirt doesn't want to buy a house for whopping 180 grand because the second bathroom doesn't have two sinks...escuse me sir....one sink has done me and my family just fine in our hovel......
I'd like to shove a bucket of flan in Rocco DiSpirto's face.....Hasn't this guy already had 5-6 shows...all losers....and getting Liza Minelli will not get me to watch...ok maybe just the first show...hellllloooo Friscooooo....
Storage Wars: Would Dave Hester and Darryl Sheets just do it already...Dave could yell yuuup while Darryl can ask him of that was enough wow favor for him after they are done making love....
Kid Movie alert: Disney's Oceans good kid nature movie...
People please lose the leather cell phone holders that clips to your belt...just tatoo "dork" on your forehead instead...
Real Housewives of NJ
Gia is such an amazing gymnast...7th place...wow....congrats....classy to blame your showing on your Uncle who you are weirdly too much into not being there....
Caroline while you are at NJ101.5 please run over Jim Gearhert with your SUV.....
Does Joe Gorga have a mint in his basement that prints money...he does right....
Saddle Ranch- No matter what their differances are...they can always rally around the mechanical bull.....brings a tear to my eye...by the way anyone know where I can get a Saddle ranch Headband???
Yes....Audrina's career is taking off....she was just asked to be on Celebrity Apprentice...academy awards here we come....
Thursday, June 16, 2011
You like movies about Gladiators?
Millionare Decorators:
How many VHS tapes of Girls Gone Wild did Joe Franscis fucking sell? A staff of 12 in his Mexican Villa? I can honestly state that I have never seen one of those tapes...don't like my dirt that clean....
Martyn Lawence Bullard looks like he's spent some time in a public restroom with George Michael...
Housewives of NJ
So Ahsley wants to be Carrie Bradshaw....unfortunately she looks like Chris Nardi with a wig on.....
Starting to like Joe Gorga but have a funny feeling he is 4 foot 9 with boots on...
Haven't seen the new Teen Wolf on MTV but Bateman already destroyed the franchise so fuck it.....
Let me guess this straight...the new crappy Tom Hanks-Julia Roberts movie is about Tom Hanks going back to college after he is fired from Walmart because he doesn't have a college degree? I thought all you needed to work at Walmart was half of your teeth?
How many VHS tapes of Girls Gone Wild did Joe Franscis fucking sell? A staff of 12 in his Mexican Villa? I can honestly state that I have never seen one of those tapes...don't like my dirt that clean....
Martyn Lawence Bullard looks like he's spent some time in a public restroom with George Michael...
Housewives of NJ
So Ahsley wants to be Carrie Bradshaw....unfortunately she looks like Chris Nardi with a wig on.....
Starting to like Joe Gorga but have a funny feeling he is 4 foot 9 with boots on...
Haven't seen the new Teen Wolf on MTV but Bateman already destroyed the franchise so fuck it.....
Let me guess this straight...the new crappy Tom Hanks-Julia Roberts movie is about Tom Hanks going back to college after he is fired from Walmart because he doesn't have a college degree? I thought all you needed to work at Walmart was half of your teeth?
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Cut me some slack Jack....
So over NYC Housewives and their stupid Morocco trip...please wake me when A. it is over or B. one of them is bitten by a cobra
Finally broke down and got a Bluetooth to use when I am in the car, now I feel like punching myself in the face everytime I look in the rearview mirror
Millionare Designers-great new show....I think...something tells me a bunch of gay designers=mid-season catfights....
Housewives of NJ...nothing like a Thanksgiving episode in the summer.....when those poor kids think of their thanksgiving memories a vision of two guidos riding a mechanical bull making out will surely scar them all for life...
Now it makes sense...the fued between the families is all over a poorly worded congratualtions card and a batch of cookies...no wonder it has gotten so nasty.....
OC: I know there was pushing, wine throwing, arguing, crying in the finale....I just wish Tamra would lighten up with the black eye liner....Take it easy Alice Cooper....
I am on to you bending over facebook profile picture......you people are hiding something and bending over in a weird contortion isn't going to solve it.....much like the crazy puckered lip pose with glasses on and peace sign up pic.....take the glasses off, unpucker those lips, stand straight up and let's see what you got....
Finally broke down and got a Bluetooth to use when I am in the car, now I feel like punching myself in the face everytime I look in the rearview mirror
Millionare Designers-great new show....I think...something tells me a bunch of gay designers=mid-season catfights....
Housewives of NJ...nothing like a Thanksgiving episode in the summer.....when those poor kids think of their thanksgiving memories a vision of two guidos riding a mechanical bull making out will surely scar them all for life...
Now it makes sense...the fued between the families is all over a poorly worded congratualtions card and a batch of cookies...no wonder it has gotten so nasty.....
OC: I know there was pushing, wine throwing, arguing, crying in the finale....I just wish Tamra would lighten up with the black eye liner....Take it easy Alice Cooper....
I am on to you bending over facebook profile picture......you people are hiding something and bending over in a weird contortion isn't going to solve it.....much like the crazy puckered lip pose with glasses on and peace sign up pic.....take the glasses off, unpucker those lips, stand straight up and let's see what you got....
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