This is Choco...from the Hartz Mountains of Germany...

Housewives of Beverly Hills

Did Kyle's daughter graduate college or cure cancer? Thanks Mom for the ugly ring....

Waaaa...Taylor went gold digging, now her husand is a dud...waaaa

Kelsey Grammer is worth 120 million?...what...did he have the back end of "Down Periscope"?

Lisa is commissioning a new Pinot Noir for her restarturant Pina Blanca so she is traveling to the winery estate to seal the deal...she is so down to earth...

Who exactly is Cedric? and does the money he make from being a male prostitute cover his bills?

Jersey Shore

Not sure I get this whole "cuddle" with me thing...in my day if a girl ever asked me to "cuddle" with her I would make sure I brought a condom...ok I am lying...probably would not have used a condom...

OMG Jwow forgot her and Tom's Anniversary? wasn't aware they are married...I'm f'ing married and barely remember my anniversary...what anniversary are they talking about...the first time he felt her fake tits?

If you need me I'll be at Karma....

-those are friend prices...

Suprise suprise, Ted Williams...the radio homeless guy... has 9 kids whom he never paid child support for, was a pimp, thief, now in rehab but still soooo inspiring to millions of losers...his head isn't frozen like the real Ted Williams but it does look like it has been smacked around with the a wrench a bit like his...

Hollywood keeps cranking out original movies...The Roomate looks nothing like Single White Female.....

Is it me or do movies totally suck now....the last good movie I saw was "Taken". Wasn't that like 2007 or something...Tried to watch Inception....after 20 minutes I was like ....this is the retarded kid from Gilbert Grape isn't it.....(best acting job of all time by the way, robbed at Oscars)

Speaking of movies about speal needs peeps, not to get all Tropic Thunder, but the worst movie of all time on the subject is without a doubt: The Other Sister, basically Juliette Lewis and Giovanni Ribisi want to get married or something...ok....problem is they... are.... retarded...or are they?....they don't look retarded...but they...talk slow....and can't do math.....oh forget it, they can't be together...But Ma I muv him....awful...

I'd apologize for using the word retarded but I don't think my 1 follower will mind...

Yes I know I know Leonardo DiCaprio was on Growing Pains...blah blah blah... you want to kick some knowledge kick it to me that his name was Luke Bower and the first episode he was on was entitled "Stop, Luke and Roll"....Bam...

I gave up on American Idol about 4 years ago...but admit I will watch first episode to see the suckfest that it is going to be....

Ronnie and Sammy Sweetheart broke up...not sure how I am going to get up in the morning...Who else is he going to lie around silently with on a bed all night with now?...

Celebrity Rehab

Lief Garrett might be able make it to the end of the steps of the Pasadena Recovery Center before he uses again...Dude, might want to try Sober House...look what it did for Andy Dick...

Jeremy London...you have to be strong for your son Lyric........whoooo've you already probably screwed up by naming him Lyric....

Harry... your hands are freeezing....

Jersey Shore Premire

Ronnie charging at Deena Nicole must have done wonders for his Aggravated Assault court case last night....

Sorry but did Snookie really give a rundown on who is in the house to "D" on the drive down..."oh wait till you meet Paulie and see his hair"..... shut the F' up....

Just watched an episode of "I used to be Fat" on MTV...it should be called "I used to be Fat but now I am just less Fatter"

Seriously though, it is great to see chicks who I would have scoffed at in college transform themselves into someone I probably would have had a drunken one night stand with then ignored afterwards..

Asked a co-worker at work today if she watched the Jersey Shore last night.....she responded no but that she liked "Guilianna and Bill"...I think I threw up in my mouth a little....Bill wants to live in the city..I want to live in the suburbs...lets cry and discuss it for 7 episodes....

Already sick of the homeless radio vioce guy's face...next

And am even sicker how people seem to find it sooo amazing...omg some homeless guy has a vioce better than Rick Dees...how on earth is he homeless..nevermind the awful teeth...scroungy hair...drug problem and iffy HIV status...

Oh not sure I've mentioned this yet but Modern Family is the best show on TV...f'ing genious...Thank you Brendan F. for turning me on to it....

I say that because I turned some guy at work onto it...now he acts like he is the one who told me about it...so f'ing annoying.....

Oh since I am mentioning my boy's names...Doug B. I forwarded Coach Coughlin your e-mail about him being too old..he told me to tell to to kiss his ass.....

Which Doobie you be?

Just came back from a big meeting at the Sierra Towers with myself, Chad Rogers, his dog Starla and Ron Richards....we basically sat around and bitched about Josh Flagg.

Saw the preview for the upcoming season for Million Dollar Listing and actually got giddy.....

So Camille and Kelsey Grammer are getting a divorce, she turned down 30 million, wants 50, I guess she is going after all that "Back to You" money...

Speaking of the Housewives/ Beverly Hills, remind me never to invite Russell to one of my "white parties"...

Probably going to miss the Hoarders finale, the one where the guy hoards... rats? WTF? Freaks me out manaaan.

Kevin Bacon- I guess you did lose all your money to Bernie Madoff, because I think I just saw you dressed up as an old man doing a web tv commercial? Shouldn't that only be shown in Japan? What's next Celebrity Ghost Stories?

Jerseyliscious...

I am not sure what the Glam Factory actually does...but I want my birthday party there too...

omg...Gigi's pictures were soooo amazing...I like the one with the bag over her head the best...

The fact I was wondering if Frankie would propose to Gigi at the birthday party makes me realize how wacked I may be...

Yeah Olivia I hate Dorie too...but I do have to admit...that eye was waaaay too smokey...

What's all this one in a million talk.......

I am sorry but Dick Clarke's New Years Eve show rang in the New Year with the Back Street Boys and NKTOB aka New Kids on the Block? Really..... Why not book the the Bay City Rollers while you are at it.

They asked some singer Kesha her New Year's Resolution and she says "not to be a doughebag"....this while wearing blinking 2011 glasses.....too late...already broken....

Yeah Dick we know Ryan is spoiled... he's inside, you were outside when you did it , he's got alot to learn...we get it..blah blah blah....

I guess MTV is pinning everything they have on the Jersey Shore....

A. The new girl looks like even more of a pig than the others... of course she is a crazy bitch with a heart of gold....
B. Speaking of the new girl...how many "best friends in the whole world" can Snookie have....and do they all have to have bad skin...Proactive ladies...if good enough for Jessica Simpson it should be good enough for you pigs...
C. FREE RONNIE....You mean you can't walk up to someone on the streets...knock them unconscious in a pool of their own blood because they told you to "go home"....

Speaking of Proactive...those commercials are distrurbing...and obviusoly fake...the one dude is covered in zits..takes some of that stuff.....now he looks like Eric Estrada....

Not to harp on Dog the Bounty Hunter but does bounty hunting pay that much were you can have a fleet of Chevy Surburbans at your disposal....

They now carry mace maching guns and wear garb with the word AGENT on the back....Ha...I am no legal scholar but isn't there some law that says they can't go into people's houses and kick down all their doors ?

Wonder how that addition is coming along.....

You don't spell it son, you eat it....

Ok probably going to hell for that Dick Clark joke below but really dude....staying behind the scenes might a little more apprioriate now.....better yet....the guy is probably worth hundreds of millions..shoud'nt he be on a beach somewhere getting endless happy ending massages by Asian slaves?

Please tell me you saw the Dog the Bounty Hunter "Mercy Tour" bookmobile tour....Dog and his family meet couple at book signing in Fla. who adopted meth babies, they go their house, he asked them what they want in life..they say an addition on the house..he goes out to a motley crue of neighbors who gathered outside..asks who is a carpenter...one kid says he took it in high school...he says get your friends and build an addition, "I'll pay for it" then hops on a bus and goes back to Hawaii......

A. Must have missed the carpentry class in High School that taught you how to build additions on houses...

B. "Hey dog...it's Billy Bob...addition is done...hello Dog...Dog...I think he hung up on me"

I've seen that show many times, never once felt inspired.....I just like his outfits....

You could say anything to Dog and Beth and they can relate...or outdue....Me: Dog I've killed 4 cats while high on Ice...Dog: Bra, when I was a young buck I ate cats for breakfast every morning"

Sooo...they have about 20 kids ranging from ages 45 to 3?

Seriously though...probably will never be serious on this site ever again...watching that show....his book signings....across the midwest...you see the people that are in line....kids with serious problems....people with ailments..drug addicted....even worse....fat....and.....ugly....hug your family and children tonight and be happy they are safe, healthy and happy....holy shit maybe it did inspire me.....

Speaking of massages...going for a "hot stone" massage this morning...guys you might get this....when they say get ready and I'll be back in a fews minutes to start....does anyone else panic for about a minute whether or not you should take off your boxers or not?

Never got a hot stone massage...when the first one gets put on I might whine..."ouch...that is hot...and I am very stuuufy"

Tell the milkman...no more cheese

Sat on Rt. 35 behind plow trucks/police cars for 30 minutes on Tuesday...not sure what was going on....some kid with his girlfriend in car behind me started honking his horn? Kept it up every 5 minutes for 3 miles....Really dude? Thought to myself..If I have to get out of my car and punch him in the face can I take him...then I noticed he was driving a White Volkswagon Jetta and realized...yes I definately could...

Celebrity Rehab Finale

Janice Dickenson must of told her plastic surgeon...I want every part of my body tucked but NOT the neck...That stays...

When I was in 3rd grade Lief Garrett was a god to every girl in my class...if he walked up to those girls today they would probably blow their rape whistles....

Jeremy London.or..Jason London which one is it again...screw it I don't care...Was that his Dad or Reginald Denny?

I actually teared up when Eric Robert reunited with his step-son. You know the one who only agreed to be reunited so that his band could play at the end.

Was it me or did the cops that came to talk to Huugie Bear aka Jason Davis seem like they have had this coversation with him many times before....4 LA cops to see if he was ok? I guess that Bllod-Crip problem is settled.

The movie Sherlock Holmes was actually not as crappy as I thought it was going to be...solid B...Didn't know Holmes and Watson were lovers though....RDJ and Law had Brokeback Mountain chemistry...When Rachel McAdams showed up on screen I said to myself  "what is sheee doing here"...

Here is a deleted scene I obtained from the original Karate Kid script that was taken out and they did not want you to see

Alli: I started dating Daniel Laruso
Alli's Friend: the guido kid from Jersey?
Alli: yeah
Alli's friend: the one that lives in the welfare motel and always has
bruises on his face?
Alli: His shower costume at the Halloween party won me over
Alli's Friend: But Johhny is hot and rich
Alli: yea you are right, I'll dump him right after the All-Valley Karate
Championships....

In the words of Dick Clark "Hacky Nu Yea"