Was in a Shop Rite in Trenton the other day, the patrons reminded me of a cross between the bar in Star Wars and the zombies from the Thriller video.....
Speaking of shopping these mother f'ing salepeople who work in Jos A Banks and Polo act like they are royalty and are looking at me in disgust because I am in gym clothes?....hey asshole I probably make 4 times more than you do..... you are 50 years old and dressed impectably but you prob live in a one bedroom efficency in a crack hotel....your not James Brolin ahole....
While waiting in line to buy stupid Christmas gifts is it ok to scream "FFUUCCKK" at the top of your fucking lungs?
Speaking of yelling...my gym has a "ladies only" workout room...I am so tempted to go to the door and yell "C'mon ladies...show me some titties!!!!" every time I walk past it....but then compose myself and realize if I do I should probably use the words "breasts" instead....
RHWBH
Can these bitches have one fucking party without all hell breaking loose. It's all Russell's fault.....I wish he was dead...
My buddy said Kyle looks like Demi Moore...my response: yes if Demi Moore went a round with Tito Ortiz...
Lisa and Ken don't want an extravagant wedding....that is why they hired what appears to be the most flamboyantly gay Asian man in history
Anyone who names their kid Pandora is an asshole...
Mauricio....black shoes with tan pants?..I hope you rot in hell....
RHW Atlanta
Koy is just such an amazing good guy blah blah blah...but he is with Kim...so that in my mind makes him a raving stupid asshole...
Something tells me Shreree married Bob Whitfield just for his money...just a wild guess....
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Bob Maplethorpe potential getaway driver...go!
RHWBH....Lisa just tell Taylor you hate her fucking guts so we can all go on with our lives....
Fuck those ITT Tech commercials...OMG my life has changed so much since I've become a Nurse's Aide..I can feed my family now that I am a data entry operator....what they hell were these people doing before...cleaning cum out of peep show booths?
Speaking of commercials...screw that guy who tries to sell us Fords and then has the balls to also try to sell us Levis too? I've had Fords, don't want another one and would not be caught dead in Levis......f u..and your butt..
Headhuntress.....I'm hooked after one episode I admit it....she is hot too...not sure if she is 35 or 50 but...if I was single I'd love to touch her leg in a non-sexual way....
Watched back to back epiodes of MTVs FriendZone last night...the show where a guy and girl are friends but one wants to be "more than friends"..not sure why you need a TV show to tell someone that but anyway....at one point get misty eyed when the dorky kid winds up with the fat Asian chick after she says yes, she will be more than friends...then I say to myself...she's a fat ugly asian chick what else is she going to say?....I have problems...
Noel Gallagher's new album is excellent and better than the last two Oasis albums combined......
Please put a pilllow over my head if:
A. You ever come across an elderly me walking in a mall before it opens with other old folks in white walking shoes
B. You ever hear me tell someone in a store that I can't believe Christmas stuff is already out in October
C. I ever use the phrase "old folks" again
D. You ever see me walking along a highway with a backpack on
Watched the VH1 show Why am I Single?...why are you single...cause you are on a show called Why am I Single...problem solved....
Fuck those ITT Tech commercials...OMG my life has changed so much since I've become a Nurse's Aide..I can feed my family now that I am a data entry operator....what they hell were these people doing before...cleaning cum out of peep show booths?
Speaking of commercials...screw that guy who tries to sell us Fords and then has the balls to also try to sell us Levis too? I've had Fords, don't want another one and would not be caught dead in Levis......f u..and your butt..
Headhuntress.....I'm hooked after one episode I admit it....she is hot too...not sure if she is 35 or 50 but...if I was single I'd love to touch her leg in a non-sexual way....
Watched back to back epiodes of MTVs FriendZone last night...the show where a guy and girl are friends but one wants to be "more than friends"..not sure why you need a TV show to tell someone that but anyway....at one point get misty eyed when the dorky kid winds up with the fat Asian chick after she says yes, she will be more than friends...then I say to myself...she's a fat ugly asian chick what else is she going to say?....I have problems...
Noel Gallagher's new album is excellent and better than the last two Oasis albums combined......
Please put a pilllow over my head if:
A. You ever come across an elderly me walking in a mall before it opens with other old folks in white walking shoes
B. You ever hear me tell someone in a store that I can't believe Christmas stuff is already out in October
C. I ever use the phrase "old folks" again
D. You ever see me walking along a highway with a backpack on
Watched the VH1 show Why am I Single?...why are you single...cause you are on a show called Why am I Single...problem solved....
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Your VCR should cover it....for openers.....
RHWBH
Kim has a new boyfriend, shhh...it's a secret, she hasn't told anyone about him...why...cause....it appears he is a fucking loser...but she is so fucking happy....as long as the crystal meth never wears off...
Loved the seance the girls had, it turns out the dead believe they are all strongwilled, independent and smart women. What a fucking suprise.....
Well with the exception of Brandi, she is still a slut.....
Kim you don't need botox bee stung lips, I would gladly punch you in the mouth for free....Ok for a small fee... I'll pay it...
I know Ken likes to play the whole "I'm a tough old Englishman" bullshit...do tough Englishman usually walk around carrying tiny dogs dressed in leather outfits?
New Beavis and Butthead genious....
Real Life I Text Alot...OMG me 2....
Why on earth do I watch that Millionare Matchmaker show....oh yeah I remember...because I have more game than idiots who made 10 million bucks and it makes me feel better about myself....
Patti is such a great matchmaker, episode 9 of season 2, the couple actually go out on a second date....
Found out today you can actually find good deals on cool clothes at Marshalls...Of course you need 2 hours to sift through every fuckign rack and then another 45 minutes to wait on that fucking line for the register..On second thought please keep your $12.99 Ralph Lauren Chaps velour sweater....
The kids section is particularily corny....unless you want your kids decked out in irregualr US Polo Association duds...
"Those aren't the droids you are looking for"....That is what I typed and then erased on my buddies facebook post under a pic that showed his kid with two stormtroopers....couldn't go through with it....
Kim has a new boyfriend, shhh...it's a secret, she hasn't told anyone about him...why...cause....it appears he is a fucking loser...but she is so fucking happy....as long as the crystal meth never wears off...
Loved the seance the girls had, it turns out the dead believe they are all strongwilled, independent and smart women. What a fucking suprise.....
Well with the exception of Brandi, she is still a slut.....
Kim you don't need botox bee stung lips, I would gladly punch you in the mouth for free....Ok for a small fee... I'll pay it...
I know Ken likes to play the whole "I'm a tough old Englishman" bullshit...do tough Englishman usually walk around carrying tiny dogs dressed in leather outfits?
New Beavis and Butthead genious....
Real Life I Text Alot...OMG me 2....
Why on earth do I watch that Millionare Matchmaker show....oh yeah I remember...because I have more game than idiots who made 10 million bucks and it makes me feel better about myself....
Patti is such a great matchmaker, episode 9 of season 2, the couple actually go out on a second date....
Found out today you can actually find good deals on cool clothes at Marshalls...Of course you need 2 hours to sift through every fuckign rack and then another 45 minutes to wait on that fucking line for the register..On second thought please keep your $12.99 Ralph Lauren Chaps velour sweater....
The kids section is particularily corny....unless you want your kids decked out in irregualr US Polo Association duds...
"Those aren't the droids you are looking for"....That is what I typed and then erased on my buddies facebook post under a pic that showed his kid with two stormtroopers....couldn't go through with it....
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Hey Now..........
Got my Saturday night all set...a little K2...some purple drank and the box set of Reno 911....
RHWBH
Game night was so fun at Dana's...Kim hid Brandi's crutches....that bitch...unfortuntaly she as so high on crystal meth she hid them behind the chair Brandi was sitting in...
Way to go Kyle....no one accuses your sister of being high but you.....
During charades it was nice for Kim and Kyle to remind us all that Kim was in that gritty drama "Tuff Turf"...what..... they couldn't work the fact she was the sassy daughter on "Hello Larry" somehow into the game....
Speaking of Tuff Turf....Spader is back...The Office has never been better...the Garden Party ep was fucking genious...Steve Carrell whooooo?
So I Used to be Fat premired two weeks ago in MTV...I watched...of course...of course 20 minutes in the kid goes out on date with the girl he likes who of course liked him only as a "friend" when he was fat but now is re-thinking it....superficial whore...but....must say...55 minutes in I am hanging on the edge of my seat while they kid is on the scale......with tears streaming down my face when they get the results...and I actually say to myself..."that trainer is a good guy"...WTF....
Boardwalk Empire...still genious....I have not seen Sir Dabney Coleman get abused like that since Tomlin, Parton and Fonda tied him to a chair and all fucked him ...that's how 9 to 5 ended right?
How to Make it in America is my new Entourage...great show....
RHWBH
Game night was so fun at Dana's...Kim hid Brandi's crutches....that bitch...unfortuntaly she as so high on crystal meth she hid them behind the chair Brandi was sitting in...
Way to go Kyle....no one accuses your sister of being high but you.....
During charades it was nice for Kim and Kyle to remind us all that Kim was in that gritty drama "Tuff Turf"...what..... they couldn't work the fact she was the sassy daughter on "Hello Larry" somehow into the game....
Speaking of Tuff Turf....Spader is back...The Office has never been better...the Garden Party ep was fucking genious...Steve Carrell whooooo?
So I Used to be Fat premired two weeks ago in MTV...I watched...of course...of course 20 minutes in the kid goes out on date with the girl he likes who of course liked him only as a "friend" when he was fat but now is re-thinking it....superficial whore...but....must say...55 minutes in I am hanging on the edge of my seat while they kid is on the scale......with tears streaming down my face when they get the results...and I actually say to myself..."that trainer is a good guy"...WTF....
Boardwalk Empire...still genious....I have not seen Sir Dabney Coleman get abused like that since Tomlin, Parton and Fonda tied him to a chair and all fucked him ...that's how 9 to 5 ended right?
How to Make it in America is my new Entourage...great show....
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Harry your hands are freezing.....
Was at party the other night and some guy was whinning to me that he used to be best friends with Jersey's own Andrew Mc Carthy growing up but Andrew went to Hollywood, got famous blew him off and never returned his calls after he "made it". My response......"Fresh Horses sucked".....
A little note to the Facebook "People You May Know" feature....yeah I know Timm Mellnor...problem is...I think he is a huge fucking asshole....but you did get me on this one.... I do not know Sujim Katz....
Heard the song Relax the other day on Sirius New Wave...now that I know what that song is about it kind of creeps me out...Shoot it in the right direction...ehhhwwwww....
Real Housewives of BH
Who is this new chick with her $25,000 sunglasses? 25g for sunglasses.....No wonder people are protesting on Wall Street....
If you have a pair of sunglasses for that much money you'd better fucking be the hottest chick on the planet....
Wa...Wa....my husband left me for Le Ann Rimes....I'm so over it tho...I only mention it every minute instead of every 30 seconds....
And who the fuck is Eddie Cibrian again?....what was he in...the 4th lead on Baywatch Nights?
Yes Camille, expect the worst and you won't be disappointed...how many times you gonna to use that one...when you mean the worst do you mean getting the houses in Beverly Hills, Hawaii, NY and 20 million dollars?
Paul please never take your shirt off again....
Ok Real World...you've outdone yourselves again...a girl...I think...who is a lesbian...but looks like an attractive 17 year old boy...bravo..MTV...bravo......
Was thinking at work today....BJ and the Bear...which was one was BJ and which one was Bear....Decided that BJ was super hunk Greg Evigan and Bear was the monkey...
OK ....you win....Bridemaids was funny....
A little note to the Facebook "People You May Know" feature....yeah I know Timm Mellnor...problem is...I think he is a huge fucking asshole....but you did get me on this one.... I do not know Sujim Katz....
Heard the song Relax the other day on Sirius New Wave...now that I know what that song is about it kind of creeps me out...Shoot it in the right direction...ehhhwwwww....
Real Housewives of BH
Who is this new chick with her $25,000 sunglasses? 25g for sunglasses.....No wonder people are protesting on Wall Street....
If you have a pair of sunglasses for that much money you'd better fucking be the hottest chick on the planet....
Wa...Wa....my husband left me for Le Ann Rimes....I'm so over it tho...I only mention it every minute instead of every 30 seconds....
And who the fuck is Eddie Cibrian again?....what was he in...the 4th lead on Baywatch Nights?
Yes Camille, expect the worst and you won't be disappointed...how many times you gonna to use that one...when you mean the worst do you mean getting the houses in Beverly Hills, Hawaii, NY and 20 million dollars?
Paul please never take your shirt off again....
Ok Real World...you've outdone yourselves again...a girl...I think...who is a lesbian...but looks like an attractive 17 year old boy...bravo..MTV...bravo......
Was thinking at work today....BJ and the Bear...which was one was BJ and which one was Bear....Decided that BJ was super hunk Greg Evigan and Bear was the monkey...
OK ....you win....Bridemaids was funny....
Thursday, September 29, 2011
I'm truly sorry but it sounds like a wonderful thing.....
Was reading People magazine the other day and they had a spread on the Kardashian wedding...no not the ugly one to Lamar Odum but the hot one to what can only be described as an amazing looking caveman....
So many A-list stars there....Joe Francis, Mario Lopez, Brody Jenner....does anyone have an airplane barf bag handy?....
Speaking of People Magazine, trying to get my US mag fix without the guilt and they gotta throw the cancer surivivor was has siezures story in there...c'mon..don't try to go legit on me on page 79.....
Movies
OMG......I don't know how she does it....Sara Jessica Parker...she works and has kids...holy shit...I know how she does it...how....because 35 million other fucking other women in this country do it too under far worse conditions....suck it up bitch.....further in real life she prob does it with nannies so don't even try it horse face....
Would I rather be anally raped by a Haitan intravenus drug user or see "The Help"...yeah the anally raped one....
Watched Thor with my kids...was actually kick ass....wasn't aware Jeremey Shockey could act.....Nice job by Natalie Portman...did the Director just tell her act like you want to fuck the shit out of Thor in every scene...
Halloween costumes
Never dress up for Halloween but friends are having a party...was thinking of going as either Steve Bartman or Mario Van Peebles.....
So many A-list stars there....Joe Francis, Mario Lopez, Brody Jenner....does anyone have an airplane barf bag handy?....
Speaking of People Magazine, trying to get my US mag fix without the guilt and they gotta throw the cancer surivivor was has siezures story in there...c'mon..don't try to go legit on me on page 79.....
Movies
OMG......I don't know how she does it....Sara Jessica Parker...she works and has kids...holy shit...I know how she does it...how....because 35 million other fucking other women in this country do it too under far worse conditions....suck it up bitch.....further in real life she prob does it with nannies so don't even try it horse face....
Would I rather be anally raped by a Haitan intravenus drug user or see "The Help"...yeah the anally raped one....
Watched Thor with my kids...was actually kick ass....wasn't aware Jeremey Shockey could act.....Nice job by Natalie Portman...did the Director just tell her act like you want to fuck the shit out of Thor in every scene...
Halloween costumes
Never dress up for Halloween but friends are having a party...was thinking of going as either Steve Bartman or Mario Van Peebles.....
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
No whammies No whammies...No whammies
Real Housewives of NJ.....
And the Emmy goes to...Gia Guidice...for seeing a chipped tooth and acting like she just witnessed a pencil go through an eye....
Didn't realize Joe Guidice was a gymnast......
Just watched the vacation episode....I wasn't aware the bankruptcy plan includes all inlcusive trips to Punta Cana.....
Who is Greg again? Albies boyfreind? ...
Anyway, when I was young I liked the song "Shadow Dancing" and carved the name "Andy Gibb" into my bedroom celing.....just thought I'd mention that...wonder if it is still there....for those to don't remember him he subsequently died of AIDS from having sex with Victoria Principal....
Perhaps you heard of his brothers...Barry..Robin and .........Maurice???? Say what?
I hope Celebrity Rehab worked for Dwight Gooden...will be ever pitch again?
Don't think I'll see the movie Contaigon....Was'nt there already one these movies with Dustin Hoffman and some monkey....Anyway.....Paltrow-Law-Damon....been done...Talented Mr. Ripley people....why try to re-create the magic...
Tosh O.=hysterical....
And the Emmy goes to...Gia Guidice...for seeing a chipped tooth and acting like she just witnessed a pencil go through an eye....
Didn't realize Joe Guidice was a gymnast......
Just watched the vacation episode....I wasn't aware the bankruptcy plan includes all inlcusive trips to Punta Cana.....
Who is Greg again? Albies boyfreind? ...
Anyway, when I was young I liked the song "Shadow Dancing" and carved the name "Andy Gibb" into my bedroom celing.....just thought I'd mention that...wonder if it is still there....for those to don't remember him he subsequently died of AIDS from having sex with Victoria Principal....
Perhaps you heard of his brothers...Barry..Robin and .........Maurice???? Say what?
I hope Celebrity Rehab worked for Dwight Gooden...will be ever pitch again?
Don't think I'll see the movie Contaigon....Was'nt there already one these movies with Dustin Hoffman and some monkey....Anyway.....Paltrow-Law-Damon....been done...Talented Mr. Ripley people....why try to re-create the magic...
Tosh O.=hysterical....
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