The new Norm McDonald Sports show on Comedy Central is hysterical.....even more hysterical after two gin and tonics.....
Told someone tonight I like to drink Bacardi with cranberry and orange juice and he said...that's called a Baybreeze...and I said to myself....oh shit am I gay??????.....
Watched the movie Takers last night.....sooo bad yet soo good....yes Hollywood...I love you...you make me believe...almost...... that Hayden Christenson can be up 3 Russian mobsters by himself...uhhh...ok....and the 18 minute Chris Brown chase scene....have these people ever heard of editing?
For some reason started watching the Justin Timberlake Andy Sandberg SNL music videos on You Tube last few days...you know Dick in a Box, Motherlover and Golden Rule.....aka the trilogy...got my kids watching too....parent of the year...so I am on beach singing dick in a box...5 hours pass...walking back to house from beach with 2 year old nephew..and he goes...and I am not trying to be all facebook...omg my little angel said this....he fucking says...."dick in a box"....the kid is literally just learning to put together semi-sentences...I am going to hell.....
Happy Memorial Day weekend everyone! I love you all.....
BTW.....Roger Mc Dowell is still my idol....even more so now....
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
My name is Roger Murdoch...I'm the co-pilot....
Real Housewives of the OC
Slade's stick figure art was so bad it almost made me forget he was 3.2 lbs. overweight...
Vickie and Don, I think I am on Team Don......Vickie's wwhooo hoo has suddenly turned into booo f'ing hoo (Did I just type that?)
Speaking of I don't think Vicki could wear Alexis Couture with that whole ass bleeding thing....
Is Alex's husband Jim a porn director? Sure looks like one.... and by the way dude.... the tag is the least of that clothing line's problems....
I kind of want that stupid smile wiped off of Eddie's face...
James Spader fucking genious on the Office....welcome back Steph....
TMZ - those meetings are a hoot huh, basically whoever opens up their mouths gets huge fucking laughs....but problem is they don't say anything funny, also
A. I want to shove that water bottle straw up Harvey's nose....
B. The guys who makes the quips on the videos about the "celebs"...let's just say I hope gets runs over by a moped....
C. Is it me or are they reaching a bit? Ahhh...uuuhhmm.....we got Alex Winter....Ted from Bill and Teds...walking on Sunset.....he says he's not aware of a Bill and Teds 3 script.......WOW...call CNN.....
Mob Wives outstanding Sun night....dinner party from hell...or in other words a typical dinner party in Staten Island....
Slade's stick figure art was so bad it almost made me forget he was 3.2 lbs. overweight...
Vickie and Don, I think I am on Team Don......Vickie's wwhooo hoo has suddenly turned into booo f'ing hoo (Did I just type that?)
Speaking of I don't think Vicki could wear Alexis Couture with that whole ass bleeding thing....
Is Alex's husband Jim a porn director? Sure looks like one.... and by the way dude.... the tag is the least of that clothing line's problems....
I kind of want that stupid smile wiped off of Eddie's face...
James Spader fucking genious on the Office....welcome back Steph....
TMZ - those meetings are a hoot huh, basically whoever opens up their mouths gets huge fucking laughs....but problem is they don't say anything funny, also
A. I want to shove that water bottle straw up Harvey's nose....
B. The guys who makes the quips on the videos about the "celebs"...let's just say I hope gets runs over by a moped....
C. Is it me or are they reaching a bit? Ahhh...uuuhhmm.....we got Alex Winter....Ted from Bill and Teds...walking on Sunset.....he says he's not aware of a Bill and Teds 3 script.......WOW...call CNN.....
Mob Wives outstanding Sun night....dinner party from hell...or in other words a typical dinner party in Staten Island....
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Don't stop Planet Rock...don't stop
Caught the end of the Real Housewives of NJ premire and all I can say is....WTF is going on? These people can really fuck up a Christening.....
Here's the video of your christening darling...what a wonderful day....your dad rolled around the floor with your Uncle swinging at each other....oh here's daddy fighting with his sister calling her garbage.....oh... pause this so everyone can come in and see..... here is Daddy again yelling in Grampa's 90 year old face....magical day...
Can we have one "re-union show" where someobody does not rip off their mike, say "I'm outta here", go in a stairwell and cry repeating "I'm done" over and over....and of course the ever popular "stop filming"....just once....
Can't stop watching Parking Wars.....love it when people wait in line for 3 hours, then when they get up to window act like it is so crazy that you have to show insurance and registration to get their car out of a lot...."don't make no damm sense"....
So you parked illegally, ripped up your parking ticket, your car gets booted....so who's fault is it.....the city's that's who.....Thanks alot Detroit.......
Here's the video of your christening darling...what a wonderful day....your dad rolled around the floor with your Uncle swinging at each other....oh here's daddy fighting with his sister calling her garbage.....oh... pause this so everyone can come in and see..... here is Daddy again yelling in Grampa's 90 year old face....magical day...
Can we have one "re-union show" where someobody does not rip off their mike, say "I'm outta here", go in a stairwell and cry repeating "I'm done" over and over....and of course the ever popular "stop filming"....just once....
Can't stop watching Parking Wars.....love it when people wait in line for 3 hours, then when they get up to window act like it is so crazy that you have to show insurance and registration to get their car out of a lot...."don't make no damm sense"....
So you parked illegally, ripped up your parking ticket, your car gets booted....so who's fault is it.....the city's that's who.....Thanks alot Detroit.......
Monday, May 16, 2011
But Dad...it's Smokeyyy...
My wife's e-mail was hacked into and a mass e-mail was sent out to everyone she has ever sent an e-mail to and it said we were on vacation in London and we were mugged, and they took everything but our passports, and the hotel would not let us leave until we settled with them, please help...
A. If any fucking hotel ever trapped me in a room and did let me and my family leave I would do a Nockamura Towers aka John McClain on the place....
Anyway, she got about 100 calls and e-mails informing her she had a virus etc.,...uh duuh... but one lady , who's kid is in our son's grade, who we hardly even know e-mailed this back to her, and I qoute:
"I am soooo sorry this has happended to you, if you can not work it out, please e-mail me back the hotel information and I will wire you money..."
Unbelievable.......another lady from town walked up to my buddy at a Little League game and said to him "Did you hear what happended?"....Another dude who I was out a Golf Outing only two days earlier called my house to say he was very upset and wanted to make sure we got home OK....and he was fucking serious........WTF!!!
Was watching Pawn Stars and came to the conclusion that Rick is the smartest man on earth....Does this guy study Presidential history and memorize war battles every night or something?....
This new Housewife Cindy from Real Housewives of NYC looks like Ace Freeley...with his makeup on...instead of them riding horses all the time just get on her back....
John Ralfeo on Parks and Rec funniest character on TV today...
A. If any fucking hotel ever trapped me in a room and did let me and my family leave I would do a Nockamura Towers aka John McClain on the place....
Anyway, she got about 100 calls and e-mails informing her she had a virus etc.,...uh duuh... but one lady , who's kid is in our son's grade, who we hardly even know e-mailed this back to her, and I qoute:
"I am soooo sorry this has happended to you, if you can not work it out, please e-mail me back the hotel information and I will wire you money..."
Unbelievable.......another lady from town walked up to my buddy at a Little League game and said to him "Did you hear what happended?"....Another dude who I was out a Golf Outing only two days earlier called my house to say he was very upset and wanted to make sure we got home OK....and he was fucking serious........WTF!!!
Was watching Pawn Stars and came to the conclusion that Rick is the smartest man on earth....Does this guy study Presidential history and memorize war battles every night or something?....
This new Housewife Cindy from Real Housewives of NYC looks like Ace Freeley...with his makeup on...instead of them riding horses all the time just get on her back....
John Ralfeo on Parks and Rec funniest character on TV today...
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Who's that man.....
People who add :) or :( to sentences....please...stop....please
Also Thnx?...you can't be that busy.....in fact I know you are not that busy....Thanks will do...
Real Housewives of NYC:
I would not go to Quoge if you paid me either ...ewwwww....how gross....
I love how they all say how great the Hamptons is in the fall because no one is there...because you know they are all so private and hate to be seen.....
I want to slap Jacques in the face with a fistfull of freedom fries....
One of Simon/Alex's sons name is Franswa (sp)...it's actually spelled Francois......sooo I guess they are hoping he grows up to be gay?.......not that there is anything wrong with that...
Also Thnx?...you can't be that busy.....in fact I know you are not that busy....Thanks will do...
Real Housewives of NYC:
I would not go to Quoge if you paid me either ...ewwwww....how gross....
I love how they all say how great the Hamptons is in the fall because no one is there...because you know they are all so private and hate to be seen.....
I want to slap Jacques in the face with a fistfull of freedom fries....
One of Simon/Alex's sons name is Franswa (sp)...it's actually spelled Francois......sooo I guess they are hoping he grows up to be gay?.......not that there is anything wrong with that...
Monday, May 2, 2011
That's Applejack man......
Next week on Mob Wives some drunk douchebag starts fucking with them at a bar...not a good fucking idea dude......
Audrina Ever After
Audrina's mom looks and sounds like she has been drinking whiskey and smoking cigarettes since she was 12......what a pig....
Missed the Bin laden killing news Sunday night....because...I was watching Saddle Ranch...ha...and went to bed.....actually learned of it from the paper on the front lawn Monday morning....old skool style....
I am sorry but did they say he was hiding in an affluent area of Pakistan?...it looked like the lower east side of Camden to me....
Was at the Harrah's pool Thursday with my boyzz hanging in a cabana....nice place...few thoughts though...
A. Average age= 83
B. Females under 45 without a tramp stamp=0%....
C. Hottub white trash qoutient= high....speaking of...when a trashy female asks a bunch of suave debonaire 30/40 somethings (us) if anyone wants to go outside for a smoke, that means she wants to blow someone right? Just checking.....nobody went.....
We also went for non-happy ending massages at the Red Door Spa in the casino....4 dudes in a waiting room, I think I actually said out loud that I hope the massage chicks are hot......so my thoughts are as they walk in one by one......
First one......looks like Greta Van Sustreen...if she did Crystal Meth for a few years and was in an abusive relationship with a pize fighter.....
Second one.....ok getting little better...she may be Lindsey Lohan's retarded chubby sister...
Third one.... blocked her out...not saying Chimp lady but a Spider Monkey may have taken a swipe at her face..just know I was relieved she did not call my name....
Fourth one (mine)....Oh look Bob Backlund with long hair...the former WWFChamp....super....where is your belt?...
Realize the above might be percieved a sexist...my apologies...but as a child I stuck a knife in a Stretch Armstrong doll and drank the goo inside so I figure after than I can't really be held accountable for any of my actions.....
Does anyone else find that Rob Drydek guy slightly fucking annoying.....also his "Fantasy Factory" leaves a bit to be desired....I don't know about you guys but my "fantasy" isn't riding a mini-bike into a foam pit.....
Audrina Ever After
Audrina's mom looks and sounds like she has been drinking whiskey and smoking cigarettes since she was 12......what a pig....
Missed the Bin laden killing news Sunday night....because...I was watching Saddle Ranch...ha...and went to bed.....actually learned of it from the paper on the front lawn Monday morning....old skool style....
I am sorry but did they say he was hiding in an affluent area of Pakistan?...it looked like the lower east side of Camden to me....
Was at the Harrah's pool Thursday with my boyzz hanging in a cabana....nice place...few thoughts though...
A. Average age= 83
B. Females under 45 without a tramp stamp=0%....
C. Hottub white trash qoutient= high....speaking of...when a trashy female asks a bunch of suave debonaire 30/40 somethings (us) if anyone wants to go outside for a smoke, that means she wants to blow someone right? Just checking.....nobody went.....
We also went for non-happy ending massages at the Red Door Spa in the casino....4 dudes in a waiting room, I think I actually said out loud that I hope the massage chicks are hot......so my thoughts are as they walk in one by one......
First one......looks like Greta Van Sustreen...if she did Crystal Meth for a few years and was in an abusive relationship with a pize fighter.....
Second one.....ok getting little better...she may be Lindsey Lohan's retarded chubby sister...
Third one.... blocked her out...not saying Chimp lady but a Spider Monkey may have taken a swipe at her face..just know I was relieved she did not call my name....
Fourth one (mine)....Oh look Bob Backlund with long hair...the former WWFChamp....super....where is your belt?...
Realize the above might be percieved a sexist...my apologies...but as a child I stuck a knife in a Stretch Armstrong doll and drank the goo inside so I figure after than I can't really be held accountable for any of my actions.....
Does anyone else find that Rob Drydek guy slightly fucking annoying.....also his "Fantasy Factory" leaves a bit to be desired....I don't know about you guys but my "fantasy" isn't riding a mini-bike into a foam pit.....
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