Sunday, December 30, 2012
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Taxi Driver...I'm the Egg man...
RIP Adam Yauch...musical genious....Paul's Boutique best album of all time...
Real Housewives of the OC
Ok Vicki, Brooks is about as creepy as the guy who confessed to the Jon Benet murder....and anyone who uses the phrase "the bomb.com" and is in their 50s is a fucking wannabee dickhead....don' t make me pine for Don...please....
OMG Briana eloped...so shocked.....yeah fucking right...it should be like...omg someone wanted to marry......or even fuck that fat dud....
I finally figured out what Slade does for $, he is a professional cyclist....
Johnny Travolta say it ain't so...Ok.... I have to get this out of my system
1. Heard he told the massage guy to "get shorty and give it grease lightening"
a. then he told him to straighten out his "broken arrow"...
b. I am convinced it was not him but Nic Cage with his face on....
c. John they are supposed to give you happy endings...not the other way around dude...
d. Dude you have a fucking plane...fly to the Phillipines for that shit bro....
Got a new outdoor deck set last night...got it from the Kmart white trash collection....
Whenever Kmart asks for my zip code before I can pay with my debit card I always type 90210...
Cheeck & Chong & Richard...genious...Eli Manning home run....
Real Housewives of the OC
Ok Vicki, Brooks is about as creepy as the guy who confessed to the Jon Benet murder....and anyone who uses the phrase "the bomb.com" and is in their 50s is a fucking wannabee dickhead....don' t make me pine for Don...please....
OMG Briana eloped...so shocked.....yeah fucking right...it should be like...omg someone wanted to marry......or even fuck that fat dud....
I finally figured out what Slade does for $, he is a professional cyclist....
Johnny Travolta say it ain't so...Ok.... I have to get this out of my system
1. Heard he told the massage guy to "get shorty and give it grease lightening"
a. then he told him to straighten out his "broken arrow"...
b. I am convinced it was not him but Nic Cage with his face on....
c. John they are supposed to give you happy endings...not the other way around dude...
d. Dude you have a fucking plane...fly to the Phillipines for that shit bro....
Got a new outdoor deck set last night...got it from the Kmart white trash collection....
Whenever Kmart asks for my zip code before I can pay with my debit card I always type 90210...
Cheeck & Chong & Richard...genious...Eli Manning home run....
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Pedro Sanchez offers you his protection...
Real House Wives of NJ
Ashley you are leaving for Las Vegas in the morning pronto....you go on the stripper pole at Cheetahs at 1:00pm...you'll be staying with your Uncle who will most likely molest you....now get out of here kid...time to make some changes....I'm proud of you....
I think it is nice how Albie takes care of his retarded brother Christopher.....Saw them both on Millionare Matchmaker...right after I watched back to back to back to back episodes of Bar Rescue...
Got a massage on my trip to AC with my boys last week...
A. For some reason whatever the massage girls say I always automically respond "yes" or "fine"...she can basically ask me if I would like hot saurkraut on my back and I think I would say "ok"
B. Every massage I get I spend half the time wondering if a happy ending is coming...ok the whole time
C. Why do they always tell me to roll over on my "tummy"?
Got through 15 minutes of Larry Crowne and decided it was the worst 20 minutes of film I have even seen....specifically the opening credits when Hanks is working at a Walmart and is fucking giddy over stocking shelves and cleaning boogers off of toilets....
GIRLS on HBO....lead chick not hot enough.....in fact not hot at all and that is not "ok"
Jack White's new album Blunderbuss......genious....
Ashley you are leaving for Las Vegas in the morning pronto....you go on the stripper pole at Cheetahs at 1:00pm...you'll be staying with your Uncle who will most likely molest you....now get out of here kid...time to make some changes....I'm proud of you....
I think it is nice how Albie takes care of his retarded brother Christopher.....Saw them both on Millionare Matchmaker...right after I watched back to back to back to back episodes of Bar Rescue...
Got a massage on my trip to AC with my boys last week...
A. For some reason whatever the massage girls say I always automically respond "yes" or "fine"...she can basically ask me if I would like hot saurkraut on my back and I think I would say "ok"
B. Every massage I get I spend half the time wondering if a happy ending is coming...ok the whole time
C. Why do they always tell me to roll over on my "tummy"?
Got through 15 minutes of Larry Crowne and decided it was the worst 20 minutes of film I have even seen....specifically the opening credits when Hanks is working at a Walmart and is fucking giddy over stocking shelves and cleaning boogers off of toilets....
GIRLS on HBO....lead chick not hot enough.....in fact not hot at all and that is not "ok"
Jack White's new album Blunderbuss......genious....
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Wang dang sweet poontang....
Million Dollar listing NYC
They hate to do this but will do it this one time and one time only, they will give part of thier commission to make the sale, now they only get 95k each.....they are such humanitarians......
Michael is making my way up in the business the hard way...from the bottom up...oh...and his Dad owns the company ...little tidbit....
Anyone who pays $700 for a bathing suit deserves to be on a vacation in Thailand and see a big wave coming at them.....
Do you think that kangaroo in that guys apartment secretly hates him? I do....
Frederik seems like the kind of guy I would love to have a beer with.....
Was at a party last week and a couple of my buddies who have girls who play basketball were going on and on about women's basketball...omg....Shabaaz lost to St. Joe's, Manasquan had a good game with St. Rose blah blah blah.....Baylor has a girl that can dunk blah blah.....I finally could not take it anymore and blurted out to them that I would rather watch gay porn than women's basketball.....
Before anyone thinks I am sexist etc. for saying that I also fucking hate watching men's hockey too...
Memo to the guys at my gym, can you take a crap at home BEFORE you get there...please....wtf
Watched Shawshank Redemption last night for the 33rd time, and still cried like a baby at the end...
No, I will not watch Storage Wars CSI: Texas or whatever it is called, I have my favorite locker buyers and can not cheat on them...
Duck Dynasty: Ok I guess more people hunt ducks than I thought....
Having trouble watching Real Housewives of Orange County...why you ask...because I finally realized an hour of my life is not worth watching an argument between Eddie and Tamra in which Tamra is upset Eddie high-fived Vickie because she doesn't like her man "touching other women"...Even just typing that made me gag....
And Jersey Shore is out too...and anyone who says the word Snookie and acts like they aren't sure how is say it is full of shit....What's her name "Snoky, Snoopy" shut the fuck up you watch the show and damm well know her name, rank and serial number bitch....
Please please somebody win the Mega Millions so I don't have to fucking hear any more fucking idiot people tell me if they won they'd quit their job, or worse keep their job like some badge of bullshit....or buy a boat, pay off this and that..give this to this person..pay off college....shut the fuck up......!!!!!!
They hate to do this but will do it this one time and one time only, they will give part of thier commission to make the sale, now they only get 95k each.....they are such humanitarians......
Michael is making my way up in the business the hard way...from the bottom up...oh...and his Dad owns the company ...little tidbit....
Anyone who pays $700 for a bathing suit deserves to be on a vacation in Thailand and see a big wave coming at them.....
Do you think that kangaroo in that guys apartment secretly hates him? I do....
Frederik seems like the kind of guy I would love to have a beer with.....
Was at a party last week and a couple of my buddies who have girls who play basketball were going on and on about women's basketball...omg....Shabaaz lost to St. Joe's, Manasquan had a good game with St. Rose blah blah blah.....Baylor has a girl that can dunk blah blah.....I finally could not take it anymore and blurted out to them that I would rather watch gay porn than women's basketball.....
Before anyone thinks I am sexist etc. for saying that I also fucking hate watching men's hockey too...
Memo to the guys at my gym, can you take a crap at home BEFORE you get there...please....wtf
Watched Shawshank Redemption last night for the 33rd time, and still cried like a baby at the end...
No, I will not watch Storage Wars CSI: Texas or whatever it is called, I have my favorite locker buyers and can not cheat on them...
Duck Dynasty: Ok I guess more people hunt ducks than I thought....
Having trouble watching Real Housewives of Orange County...why you ask...because I finally realized an hour of my life is not worth watching an argument between Eddie and Tamra in which Tamra is upset Eddie high-fived Vickie because she doesn't like her man "touching other women"...Even just typing that made me gag....
And Jersey Shore is out too...and anyone who says the word Snookie and acts like they aren't sure how is say it is full of shit....What's her name "Snoky, Snoopy" shut the fuck up you watch the show and damm well know her name, rank and serial number bitch....
Please please somebody win the Mega Millions so I don't have to fucking hear any more fucking idiot people tell me if they won they'd quit their job, or worse keep their job like some badge of bullshit....or buy a boat, pay off this and that..give this to this person..pay off college....shut the fuck up......!!!!!!
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Follow the leader Rakim will say....
This summary is not available. Please
click here to view the post.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
We want EFX.....
Been a way for a while....been working out hard with kettle bells trying to fit into my new pajama jeans....
Someone the other day told me the wine they were drinking had a great "nose", I told them to suck my dick and never talk to me again...
Watched 1/3 of the Oscars the other night....
A. Billy Crystal looked like he popped out of a casket
B. Sooo....they gave the chick from the Help who won best supporting actress a standing ovation...because....why again? No one else got one...Oh yeah she is fat and black and not hot so she deserves extra praise...
C. The movie Drive is my personal best picture
D. Tom Cruise is starting to look like an extra from the Lord of the Rings
I watched The Big Bang Theory for the first time on the plane down to Aruba, I fought it for so long, refused to watch for some reason but on a plane I will watch anything, I even watched backed to back episodes of that stupid trivia game in a cab bullshit...so anyway I watched it.....that shit is pretty funny yo......
Was thinking about the movie Roadhouse the other day with Patrick Swayze...so he invites his friend Sam Elliott down to help him clean up some bar...you know the old bouncer who taught him all he knows......who in turn gets stabbed in the chest and dies on a bar..but before he dies he says something like "stay strong meeho"...If that was me I would be like "dude thanks for inviting me down here you fucking asshole, so worth it, you know getting stabbed and killed and all so you can clean up some hick bar, thanks, thank you very much"...asshole...fuck you ...
Speaking of movies the movie Hall Pass is genious.....
Watching the Kardashians, I don't think Kim wants to be married to Chris anymore, I think they may break up....just a hunch
Did Jenner really go with two earrings? Why not just throw some lipstick on Bruce....
Someone the other day told me the wine they were drinking had a great "nose", I told them to suck my dick and never talk to me again...
Watched 1/3 of the Oscars the other night....
A. Billy Crystal looked like he popped out of a casket
B. Sooo....they gave the chick from the Help who won best supporting actress a standing ovation...because....why again? No one else got one...Oh yeah she is fat and black and not hot so she deserves extra praise...
C. The movie Drive is my personal best picture
D. Tom Cruise is starting to look like an extra from the Lord of the Rings
I watched The Big Bang Theory for the first time on the plane down to Aruba, I fought it for so long, refused to watch for some reason but on a plane I will watch anything, I even watched backed to back episodes of that stupid trivia game in a cab bullshit...so anyway I watched it.....that shit is pretty funny yo......
Was thinking about the movie Roadhouse the other day with Patrick Swayze...so he invites his friend Sam Elliott down to help him clean up some bar...you know the old bouncer who taught him all he knows......who in turn gets stabbed in the chest and dies on a bar..but before he dies he says something like "stay strong meeho"...If that was me I would be like "dude thanks for inviting me down here you fucking asshole, so worth it, you know getting stabbed and killed and all so you can clean up some hick bar, thanks, thank you very much"...asshole...fuck you ...
Speaking of movies the movie Hall Pass is genious.....
Watching the Kardashians, I don't think Kim wants to be married to Chris anymore, I think they may break up....just a hunch
Did Jenner really go with two earrings? Why not just throw some lipstick on Bruce....
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Dammit Napolean fix yourself a damm Quisedilla....
Was in a Shop Rite in Trenton the other day, the patrons reminded me of a cross between the bar in Star Wars and the zombies from the Thriller video.....
Speaking of shopping these mother f'ing salepeople who work in Jos A Banks and Polo act like they are royalty and are looking at me in disgust because I am in gym clothes?....hey asshole I probably make 4 times more than you do..... you are 50 years old and dressed impectably but you prob live in a one bedroom efficency in a crack hotel....your not James Brolin ahole....
While waiting in line to buy stupid Christmas gifts is it ok to scream "FFUUCCKK" at the top of your fucking lungs?
Speaking of yelling...my gym has a "ladies only" workout room...I am so tempted to go to the door and yell "C'mon ladies...show me some titties!!!!" every time I walk past it....but then compose myself and realize if I do I should probably use the words "breasts" instead....
RHWBH
Can these bitches have one fucking party without all hell breaking loose. It's all Russell's fault.....I wish he was dead...
My buddy said Kyle looks like Demi Moore...my response: yes if Demi Moore went a round with Tito Ortiz...
Lisa and Ken don't want an extravagant wedding....that is why they hired what appears to be the most flamboyantly gay Asian man in history
Anyone who names their kid Pandora is an asshole...
Mauricio....black shoes with tan pants?..I hope you rot in hell....
RHW Atlanta
Koy is just such an amazing good guy blah blah blah...but he is with Kim...so that in my mind makes him a raving stupid asshole...
Something tells me Shreree married Bob Whitfield just for his money...just a wild guess....
Speaking of shopping these mother f'ing salepeople who work in Jos A Banks and Polo act like they are royalty and are looking at me in disgust because I am in gym clothes?....hey asshole I probably make 4 times more than you do..... you are 50 years old and dressed impectably but you prob live in a one bedroom efficency in a crack hotel....your not James Brolin ahole....
While waiting in line to buy stupid Christmas gifts is it ok to scream "FFUUCCKK" at the top of your fucking lungs?
Speaking of yelling...my gym has a "ladies only" workout room...I am so tempted to go to the door and yell "C'mon ladies...show me some titties!!!!" every time I walk past it....but then compose myself and realize if I do I should probably use the words "breasts" instead....
RHWBH
Can these bitches have one fucking party without all hell breaking loose. It's all Russell's fault.....I wish he was dead...
My buddy said Kyle looks like Demi Moore...my response: yes if Demi Moore went a round with Tito Ortiz...
Lisa and Ken don't want an extravagant wedding....that is why they hired what appears to be the most flamboyantly gay Asian man in history
Anyone who names their kid Pandora is an asshole...
Mauricio....black shoes with tan pants?..I hope you rot in hell....
RHW Atlanta
Koy is just such an amazing good guy blah blah blah...but he is with Kim...so that in my mind makes him a raving stupid asshole...
Something tells me Shreree married Bob Whitfield just for his money...just a wild guess....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)