Yo I ain't no toast....

Housewives of NYC

You are not pregnant Ramona....your just stupid.....

Is that Simon or Rip Taylor?....

Jimmy Fallon's "Thank you notes" book is fucking hysterical....

Housewives of NJ

Who the hell does Kim G think she is? Speaking of....is it my imagination or is she the hottest 80 year old you've ever seen...

How exactly does someone who is declaring bankruptcy have personal stylists to do their hair and make-up for a X-mas party? I better shut up though or Joe Guidice  might do a roundhouse kick to my head...

Something tells me in a few years when Joe Gorga is declaring bankruptcy himself he's going to wish he had that 50 grand back he spent on that party....

Movie Review Alert- Take Me Home Tonight starring Sir Topher Grace....Very Entertaining

Why are there no hot Hoarders?

Celebrity Rehab

Adler...just move in dude....

Did Amy Fisher catch a Dr. K Dwight Gooden fast ball to her lip?

Sean Young was once the hottest chick in Hollywood...now she looks like an extra from the Lord of the Rings....

Thinking of a word to describe Michael Lohan...I know...Turd...

I'm pretty sure the chick that works there , Shelly, is actress Judy Greer....

Hold it now...hit it.....

Just watched Back to Back episodes of COPS, as good as it has ever been. Love when the drunken idiots resist arrest, fight da police, then start whinning how sorry they are at the end....of course right after they get stun gunned....bitches...

True Life....I'm ex-Amish...wasn't aware Amish wore Colts sweatshirts and smoked like chimneys....

I don't watch that Gene Simmons show debacle, only see the commercials but hasn't he's been bragging about nailing all these women every time I turn around..... now his relationship to the chick from Hot Dog the Movie is not going well......boo hoo...maybe now she can try to hook up with Squirell......

True Life...I'm addicted to Porn...of course you are dude, your a guy......Although when I hear someone say the word "masterbade" it creeps me out....it's called jerking off a-hole....

Ok....so it appears 6 out of every 10 movies now deals with the premis that two friends, one boy and one girl agree to have sex but....god no they can't have feelings about it..because they are both so fucking good looking they can't be a couple..The newest is called Friends with Benefits...starring Justin Timberlake and Natalie Portman....or is it Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis?

Just be glad I had fast reflexes....

Watched Hot Tub Time Machine with my kids the other day, please don't call DYFUS.....hey I wanted to introduce my kids to John Cusak, next up...Grifters...

How dare you serve Rocco Dispirito meatballs....

Rocco I get the show...the cocky jackass chef who says "they got this" always loses....

Who is this Padma chick? She is at a stupid reality show dinner party...chick is acting like she is Princess Diana...

Jeff Lewis is still Flipping Out! and he still has his assistant with him...or as I like to call her...the retarded Elaine Benes...

At least Lewis and his crew are done with that glorified Chi Chi's they spent last season on....

Whale Wars: Can one prop fouler work? Let me guess this straight, we bombed Japan, they surrendered, we rebuilt their country....the least they can fucking do is lay off a few whales for us....wtf? Research my fucking ass.....throw them some fucking Levis and tell them to go home...

If the whales could talk they would breach and yell out at the whale wars guys..."fucking try harder you fucking hippies".....

Michael Irvin posed for a gay magazine....usually I would think that is courageous for a straight guy to do that...but since he is a Dallas Cowboy I will call him what he is...a Fruit!

Didn't know they grew 'em so small on the farm

Mob Wives-

Lee cheated on Drita, can't believe a bankrobber would do that?

Great idea of having a knock down drag out fight on a roof top bar....

Housewives-

I totally understand Jill, Simon has been cyber-bullying me too....

So Theresa shows us Joe's cock ring....and you say they have no class...shame on you...

One of the best movie qoutes ever...."What I just saw out there made me sick"...Roy Turner Bad News Bears....

My Mork & Mindy musical is coming along...I am going to call it "Shazbutt"...

Everytime I watch Extreme Home Makeover...whenever Ty Pennington says "Welcome Home blah blah blah family...welcome home"... I...(in between sobs) ....say.....out loud..."and good luck paying those heating and electric bills"....

Little something I like to call...Pooping at work

A. Love the blatantly unecessary flush or cough when someone comes in...ok...realize you are in there, I am not going to come in and sit in your lap.... don't worry..ok I do it too....

B. Are the machine gun farts necessary before taking a crap dude 

C. Are you taking some toilet paper or rolling out a baseball tarp...easy bro...

D. Does your belt buckle have to be playing a tune on the floor throughout this ordeal?...it's bad enough you came in when I did and gross enough I can hear you....

Happy Fourth of July....